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12 Days of Surrey

To the tune of ‘12 Days of Christmas.’ Part of a series of new carols for 2019.

Steve Burgess 18 Dec 2019TheTyee.ca

Steve Burgess writes about politics and culture for The Tyee. Find his previous articles here.

[Editor’s note: If you have an annoying uncle who always says, “No, you’re singing it wrong!” — this one will drive him nuts. Find our full list of Tyee 2019 carols here.]

On the first day in Surrey, the mayor said to me:

Get rid of the RCMP!

On the second day in Surrey, McCallum said to me:

Surrey Police!
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the third day in Surrey, the papers said to me:

Three councillors quit!

Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the fourth day in Surrey, McCallum said to me:

Cancel LRT!

Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the fifth day in Surrey, the mayor said to me:

SkyTrain extension!

SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the sixth day in Surrey McCallum said to me:

No Uber here!

No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the seventh day in Surrey, the mayor said to me:

No Cloverdale rink!

No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the eighth day in Surrey, McCallum said to me:

Kids don’t skate anymore!

Kids don’t skate no more,
No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the ninth day of Surrey, the mayor said to me:

Build 'round the clock!

Build 'round the clock,
Kids don’t skate no more,
No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the tenth day in Surrey, the newscasts said to me:

Crime’s up again!

Crime’s up again,
Build 'round the clock,
Kids don’t skate no more,
No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the eleventh day of Surrey, McCallum said to me:

Well, that just proves what I’ve been saying about Surrey Police!

Proves what I’ve been saying,
Crime’s up again,
Build 'round the clock,
Kids don’t skate no more,
No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!

On the twelfth day of Surrey, the mayor said to me:

Build a canal!

Build a canal? For real?

I’m serious! Build a canal!

Build a canal,
Proves what I’ve been saying,
Crime’s up again,
Build 'round the clock,
Kids don’t skate no more,
No Cloverdale rink,
No Uber here,
SkyTrain extension,
Cancel LRT,
Three councillors quit,
Surrey Police,
And get rid of the RCMP!
 [Tyee]

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