[Editor’s note: In the great tradition of classics like “Jingle bells/Batman smells/Robin laid an egg,” The Tyee offers a series of new carols for Christmas 2019. Find the full series here.]
It came without a mandate clear,
That federal vote of yore
When voters spread across the land
Chose minor, not major.
No peace there was upon the Earth,
As leaders fought to be king,
On TV, Andrew and Justin ruled,
On TikTok, Jagmeet Singh
Liz May was there, Yves Blanchet too
And Bernier on billboards,
But though they sought him high and low,
Nobody found Doug Ford.
The Liberals warned of Andrew Scheer,
They questioned him on race,
Until a yearbook from Point Grey,
Showed Justin in blackface.
“To think!” said Scheer, “Of all the nerve!”
“That stinking hypocrite!”
But then lost face himself with no,
October 21 arrived,
The voters’ time to choose,
Although the Liberal red won out,
Alberta had the blues.
And so the exercise is done,
Insults, attacks, and cheers,
But don’t get comfy — Justin’s gang,
Will never last four years.
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