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God Rest Ye Middle Class Gentlefolk

To the tune of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.’ Part of a series of new carols for 2019.

Steve Burgess 16 Dec 2019 | TheTyee.ca

Steve Burgess writes about politics and culture for The Tyee. Find his previous articles here.

[Editor’s note: Looking to have a truly green Christmas? One source of alternative holiday energy could be Bing Crosby spinning in his grave as he listens to The Tyee’s 2019 Christmas carols! Find our full list here.]

God rest ye, middle class gentlefolk!
Let nothing you dismay,
The Ministry of Middle Class Prosperity,
Is here to make your day,
To save you from the other classes,
That get in your way,
O tidings of middle class joy, middle class joy,
O tidings of middle class joy!

Now those who fit the middle class are open to debate,
Home ownership might be a clue
But some will say it ain’t.
For renters too are middle class,
We must hear their complaint.
O who gets to be the middle class, be middle class?
O who gets to be the middle class?

The middle class will say they don’t include the well-to-do,
For wealthy people have more funds,
They’re better off than you.
But when compared to Bill Gates they are in the middle too,
O the well-off are in the middle too, the middle too,
O the well-off are in the middle too.

If middle-class Canadians are now the class with clout,
And if the government is loathe
To leave the wealthy out,
Then that just leaves the poor
To get a swift punch in the snout.
O will they get a swift punch in the snout, punch in the snout,
O the poor will get a swift punch in the snout!  [Tyee]

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