’Tis the Season of Too Many Movie Screeners

The holiday season is a time of bounty. But for film critics, there’s too much on the table to consume.

Movie buffs like me — who watch trailers too many times, pounce on tickets and line up for opening-day releases — can’t help but look at the world of critics with excitement. Celebrity encounters! Advanced showings!

At The Tyee, our very own culture editor Dorothy Woodend is one of this class. I was awestruck when I first learned that her reviews were among those tallied for Rotten Tomatoes.

Around this time of year, packages begin arriving at the office by courier for Dorothy to sign. Not from the North Pole, but from film studios.

Inside: movie screeners.

I peek at the growing pile on her desk to see titles that haven’t hit theatres yet. To sweeten the deal, publicists like to include some movie-related swag. There might be candles and keychains, but also some seriously hefty stuff like art books and bottles of booze.

Much of it is in an attempt to convince critics of the genius of director-auteurs. But sometimes the Oscar-bait just seems silly.

I remember when a copy of The Power of the Dog, Jane Campion’s post-western western, came with a booklet that featured a large image of Benedict Cumberbatch, topless with a big leather belt, kneeling in the woods, sniffing a scarf.

I know the film is trying to have a conversation about masculinity. But sometimes the swag crumbles under the weight of its own desperation.

I get why studios want to seize the attention of critics — after all, there is so much for them to watch.

It may seem glamorous to do what Dorothy does, but it’s still work. I sat down with her recently to ask what it’s like to be asked to watch an endless list of films at this time of year and still offer a critical opinion, and whether she ever hits a breaking point when art starts to feel like “content.”

— Christopher Cheung

Christopher Cheung: Dorothy, I’ve wanted to ask you about “screener season” ever since you showed me your copy of Robert Eggers’ The Lighthouse, which came with a replica of the mermaid figurine from the movie. You know, the one that Robert Pattinson masturbates to. The folks at A24, the studio, must have thought it was funny because the figurine was made of soap.

It’s not Santa’s elves but couriers who bring you packages: screener copies of movies desperate for your approval. Tell us all about what this time of year is like for you.

Dorothy Woodend: Hark, screener season! ’Tis a time of great folly, indeed. It’s pretty much in full swing at the moment. You get to know the couriers who come by every day to drop off packages. I swing between thinking, “This is such an incredible waste of resources!” to “Ooh! What’s in this big box?”

What are some of the most ridiculous things you’ve received from studios?

That sexy soap mermaid was one of the wildest. It kicked about the house for ages. I think my then-teenage son might have absconded with it. I don’t want to know what happened after that. Gulp...

One year, a box from a certain too-cool-for-school film studio arrived with a bottle of both rum and vodka — I guess they know what critics run on.

There’s certainly been some goofy stuff over the years, like the “I am Kenough” fleecy hoodie that came as part of the Barbie onslaught.

Sometimes you get the occasional useful thing, like a smelly candle, an entire case filled with fancy candy, a head scratcher or a weird popcorn topping. Although often it’s a bit of a curiosity how some of these things are connected to the films themselves.

I’m also not entirely clear on what you’re supposed to do with a lot of this stuff. If you wear your promotional gear out in the world, aside from being taken for a big honking dork, will people know that you’ve accepted a bribe from Barbie? A Bribie, if you will?

DVDs and DVD players are increasingly becoming relics. How has screener season evolved over the years?

I remember having to watch screeners on VHS tape. How old am I, anyway? Then it was DVD and Blu-ray, and now pretty much everything comes as a link to an online screening room.

Most physical screeners are DVDs, with the usual warning from the FBI about how you and seven generations after you will suffer if the films get shared.

After awards season is over, you’re supposed to take a pair of scissors to them and chop them in half. Take that, Martin Scorsese! Now you’re even shorter, although your films are still insanely long.

What kind of people are your fellow critics these days? Many seem to have vanished from traditional news outlets.

There used to be a fair contingent of working critics, but the state of the current media landscape always makes me think of the opening scene of The Terminator, when the killer robots are prowling about the scorched Earth looking for humans to shoot. Except it’s even more grim than that.

Now, when I go to in-person press screenings, there’s a few of the old guard and younger folk, who I assume are influencers or what have you.

It’s tempting to go full curmudgeon and think, “Back in my day, there was critics as far as the eye could see, like a great sea, they were.” I feel another Eggers moment coming on.

But things change; that is the nature of things.

What film societies are you part of? What work do you need to put in?

I’m currently a member of the Broadcast Film Critics, which puts on the Critics Choice Awards on the TV. Yes, that old thing. You get your official ballot and have to watch everything, or at least as much as you can before the end of the year.

What does consuming so much content do to you? Is it even possible to enjoy art when you’re force-feeding yourself like a goose?

Actually, it does feel like you’re eating way too many overstuffed casseroles or something, primarily because so many films are over two hours in length. The sheer volume also takes the fun out of it. Films become like so many widgets, all tumbling off the conveyor belt.

It is a little cuckoo-making. Even if I watched films day and night for weeks on end, I’d be hard pressed to watch everything. Also, I think taking in too many films all at once can seriously mess with your head, not to mention your eyeballs.

I try to watch at least one or two films per day. I hate the word “content” when applied to creative work, but sometimes it feels like there are simply too many films in the world.

@the_tyee Help our film critic is drowning in screenings and useless tchotchkes ❄️🍿🎞️ #filmtok #cinephile #filmcritic #movies #oscars #journalismtok #confessions #gladiator2 #wicked #nightbitch ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

So are you telling me that the judges at major prizes like the Oscars likely don’t watch everything either?

It comes up every year that people don’t watch films in their entirety or even at all! People are very naughty.

What are you tired of watching that people are making?

I can’t handle too much grimness for its own sake at the moment. The world is just too much with us, all the damn time. Sometimes you just want a film that can take you outside of yourself and the waking nightmare that is American politics.

I know you love a guilty pleasure to cleanse the palate. Are you watching any yummy junk lately?

For some reason, I feel an overwhelming fondness for mid-’90s thrillers lately, anything with Denzel Washington or Ashley Judd. More Judd, please!

What happens to you if you share a screener with someone else? Will they kill you?

Yes. I am dead. But at least I can close my eyes.