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Wanted: A Real Governor General

Don't get me wrong – I'm not upset about separatism or lack of qualifications.

Rafe Mair 22 Aug 2005TheTyee.ca

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You have to have a sense of humour to live in this country.

Here is quite a fictitious "help wanted" ad for, say, the Toronto Globe and Mail.

"Wanted - person to help Paul Martin get support from minorities in Quebec. This person will be a black immigrant with a foreign citizenship, speak French, preferably be female and have worked for CBC. The pay is spectacular, particularly since no tax need be paid, with unlimited travel and a glorious clothes allowance, excellent pension and a title you can use forever; two limousines and driver available 24/7; great digs; absolutely no previous experience required in anything remotely to do with the job. Helps to be married especially if husband associates with Quebec separatists and former FLQ activities, including kidnapping and murder."

Pshaw, I say to any who see this as the job description of Canada's next Governor General. Awright, so I'm being a tad sarcastic about the wonderful, wonderful woman who will be Canada's next very truly loyal Head of State. We know that she is doubly wonderful because Toronto's chattering classes, the Toronto Globe and Mail and, in Denny Boyd's marvelous phrase "higher purpose persons" - Canada's very own aristocracy - all say she is.

As usual, Canadians have missed the entire point of this exercise having followed the false scent emitted by those who know how to do those things - namely the Liberal Party of Canada.

(Let me pause, though I shouldn't have to, to say I am not at all racist - if the target market had been the anglos of Shaughnessy and a WASP Tory was appointed, my contrary argument would be the same.)

'In a great lather'

We all got in a great lather about whether Ms Jean and her consort were loyal Canadians, how they voted in the '95 referendum and whether hubby, Jean-Daniel Lafond, a philosophy professor and documentary producer, consorts with murderous members of the FLQ that kidnapped a British diplomat and killed a Quebec Cabinet Minister in 1970. Lafond a separatist? The only evidence is by association (pretty good evidence in my view) and the fact he said about the 1995 referendum "A sovereign Quebec? An independent Quebec? Yes, and I applaud it with both hands" leaving one to ponder how he would have applauded it if he'd been lukewarm on the subject.

But all that's beside the point. Half of Brian Mulroney's cabinet, or so it seemed, were separatists and one of them, Lucien Bouchard became separatist Premier of Quebec. A separatist Governor General is scarcely worth a raised eyebrow in this mad land. The fact that the lady is a foreign citizen, French - as is her hubby - and will be de facto Head of State of our land only adds to the humour of the thing when we remember a President of the French Republic once hollered "Vive La Quebec Libre" in 1967. Of course the lady's French and what about it I say - I'm only surprised that she isn't a cross dresser too, to make the completely perfect candidate.

What people ought to be outraged about is how Madame Jean was selected and why.

Backroom lights

When the post of GG comes up there are perhaps a half dozen people generally considered to be a safe pair of hands. One of those is always from British Columbia and is disqualified accordingly. The last Governor General, the darling of the CBC crowd don't you know, at least was sort of a star if you watch CBC which I don't - except, of course, for programs I'm in. The political reason for Ms Clarkson's appointment was at least a broad one - no one could really argue for the need to show Canada's many minorities that they were as Canadian as the rest of us. But you have to ask yourself how Ms Jean came on the radar screen.

I'm a lifelong observer of the Liberal Party who hates it as only a Liberal can. It happened this way. The backroom boys (and girls) got together and said, roughly, "By gar, we're in tough shape in Quebec. We know we won't win any hard core separatists and damned few loyalists except in pockets of Anglos. Who do we need?"

After a Scotch or two (or maybe three) the light went on. "What we need is someone who can appeal to the huge French Speaking minority that separatist governments have encouraged to migrate to Quebec because they aren't making enough little separatists babies any more. What we need is a woman, who's black, who is an immigrant from the homeland of Quebec's minority, Haiti, and has some sort of profile we can work into a big deal once we, the spin doctors non pareil, get through with her. That's what we need, go find her" - and find her they did, and to their astonishment, at the Mother Corp, the institution higher purpose persons love so much.

The newest Liberal campaigner

Now we have something brand new in Canada - a Governor General who will be a campaign worker for the Liberals in the next election just by being there. We've had chinless, brainless English aristocrats, upright anglo businessmen and distinguished Quebec soldiers, a Manitoba socialist and a Hong Kong lady for those of the coloured persuasion. Now we have, for the first time, a decent enough lady I'm sure, who becomes a tawdry excuse for a Liberal politician (I realize that phrase term is redundant) simply because she either is that anyway, or more likely, she's not bright enough to get it.

I'm all in favour of various regions of the country spawning governors general and have long felt that we waited too long to make a member of visible minorities one - we missed a great chance with Lincoln Alexander. But to appoint a governor general specifically tailored in so many ways, to give the Liberals a chance to win some seats in one part Quebec in the next election is not showing Canada's broad acceptance of all minorities at all - I don't think we need to do that any more - but a cheap political ploy.

Paul Martin has politicized the office of Governor General, the de facto Head of State, and has done so not for some broad general worth purpose but to get some votes for his party in Quebec.

That, not her loyalty or her husband's friends and his politics, is what should piss all Canadians off - if they could ever care enough to be pissed off at anything.

Rafe Mair, a regular columnist for The Tyee, can be heard every weekday morning from 8:30-10:30 on 600AM, His website is www.rafeonline.com.  [Tyee]

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