Fool Them Twice

The U.S. election is more or less over. Trump won. The worst campaign, run by the worst candidate, backed by all the worst people. Result: victory. Only in America.

As election day arrived, American democracy faced three possibilities. Two of those were suicide — a Trump victory — or murder, via a successful Trump/Republican steal. Only a clear, undisputed Harris win would stave off the possibility of disaster.

At first the trends were slow to develop, but develop they did. It was a movie we had seen before. Spoiler: Everybody dies. Trump dodged a bullet during this campaign, but America was not so lucky. Not surprising since the nation's wound was self-inflicted.

Inflation was a major issue. The fact that top economists all said Trump policies would crash the economy and drive up inflation meant little when people went to the store and saw the price of frozen pizza. American democracy, that mighty fortress that has stood for 248 years, breached by a 50-cent increase in a loaf of bread.

At a Harris rally in Allentown, Pennsylvania on Monday, rapper Fat Joe rhetorically asked Black and Latino Trump voters: “Where is your pride?”

Good question. Exit polls showed Trump gained ground with both Black and Latino male voters. Apparently being a white supremacist whose campaign was a firehose of naked racial hatred is less of a factor than, say, gas prices. About which, by the way, Donald Trump cannot do sweet fanny all.

There is something deeply wrong with America. And we will all suffer for it. Canada will suffer for it. NATO will suffer for it. The people of Ukraine will suffer for it. Russians called in bomb threats to Georgia polling stations in heavily Black districts — the sworn enemies of the United States, openly declaring their allegiance to Trump. Americans responded by rewarding Vladimir Putin with their support. The Evil Empire strikes back.

Trump the Bible salesman was once asked what his favourite book of the Bible was, but he couldn't name one. Well, Donny, how about Jeremiah? Here's a nice quote from Jeremiah 12:1: Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why do all who are treacherous thrive?

Dunno. Maybe because of Fox News? American politics is a race for the bottom now. If there's an election at all in 2028, the Democrats should skip the primaries and just nominate Harvey Weinstein.

So Trump is president again. The man who tried to overthrow the American government had it gift-wrapped and presented back to him by American voters. The man Jeffrey Epstein called his “closest friend,” the convicted felon, the adjudicated rapist, the man who described himself as greater than Abraham Lincoln, gets to be, as he announced, “dictator on day one.” Will the Inaugural Address focus on the size of Arnold Palmer's dick? Will Elon Musk get to be co-president? That would make Tesla the new Volkswagen.

This was a clear case of democratic malpractice. Will the patient die? Will it be dosvidaniya, democracy? Auf wiedersehen, voting rights?

The question now is whether the democratic — that's with a small “d” — insurgency, and some remnant of the rule of law, will succeed in holding back the forces of Trump authoritarianism. Anti-Trump forces will be energized and desperate. But the power lies elsewhere. And Trump has made no secret of the fact that he will unleash whatever violence on his enemies that he can get away with. America just voted “T” for Vengeance.

We feared the worst. It happened. What's left to hope for? Arteriosclerosis, you are our only hope. But even that just gets you President Vance.

An island of floating garbage has just floated back into the Oval Office. God help us all.