Yikes, I've Stumbled into a Movie Shoot!

I'm sure that if I, personally, had been carrying the couch, it wouldn't have seemed as funny. For starters, I was moving into a new office -- and moving is never funny. Worse, said office is in one of those Granville Street buildings beside which you may not park, or even drive, without an order in council. Your only option during a do-it-yourself move is to slip your rental truck into the alley and hope the bylaw enforcers cut you some slack for not having commercial license plates.

On this day, however, the alley is "owned" by TCF Vancouver Productions Ltd., the movie company currently shooting the Percy Jackson sequel, Sea of Monsters. According to them and their signs: you may not stop; you may not stay; you have no choice: there is no way.

Well, actually, there is one way. But it involves jogging with office equipment. The trick, in a city that hosts more than $1 billion in film and television work every year, is to stay out of the shot -- at least during the time that the cameras are running. In this, you get assistance from a legion of polite youngsters with two-way radios and updated rules to the old game, "Mother May I?"

May I carry this desk 50 metres down the alley, step out from behind the roofing truck, wedge my way through the people on the sidewalk who are straining for a look at child star Logan Lerman and then duck into the lobby of my building?

"No! Go back two giant steps. . . Okay, now yes! Go now! Go fast. . ."

Given these constraints, it's bizarre how quickly and willingly you become part of the whole, complicated dance. Soon, rather than snarling with other downtown denizens, annoyed that their lives have been disrupted for a few precious minutes, you're listening for the calls of "Rolling" and "Cut!" You're stopping and going on cue.

We're all extras now

Of course, while Percy Jackson is being directed by wannabe wunderkind Thor Freudenthal, our own little sideshow was pure Mack Sennett, slapstick wrapped up in Canadian good manners.

The latter were exhibited best by my work crew, two 20-something boys (sorry, young men) who spend most of their life -- and much of my money -- as students at McGill University. Regardless of growing up on Bowen Island and in Nanaimo, they are now "city people." Honorary Montrealers, they have seen streets choked by productions and protests. But they're still capable of being delighted by spectacle -- and by the prospect of catching sight of Nathan Fillion. (We're all serious Firefly fans.) And they are good natured enough not to mind actually hustling under the weight of a sofa, especially given that they think the hustle is for a good cause.

The other participant in our little production was our director, my wife Elizabeth. She was standing guard over the vehicles, holding the keys and making excuses to anyone who passed by. Given this presence -- this obvious command of the situation -- it wasn't long before people started assuming that it was, in fact, she who "owned" the alley. Strangers and film crew alike began asking her permission to pass.

She is striking, my wife, with a shock of quite beautiful grey-white hair. One of the film crew actually told her that he wished she were in being included in the shot among the extras. (I'm not sure if he was recruiting or just hitting on her -- and she was flattered, either way.)

Money in the streets

This whole process of booking locations, managing crowds -- running a whole finicky business in the midst of a still-functioning city -- helps explain why the film and TV business spills so much money and employs so many people in and around Vancouver. When you count the post-production work for which Vancouver has also gained an admirable reputation, BC Film Commission stats show that the industry spent nearly $1.2 billion hereabouts in 2011. Looking at reports compiled by the Canadian Media Production Association, that created something in the order of 15,000 direct jobs and more than 23,000 spinoffs in B.C. alone.

There were moments when that many people seemed to be on the set of Percy Jackson. Even just the cast of extras -- ever patient and attentive to their own cues -- constituted a significant crowd. In hindsight -- looking at all the angles and remembering where, exactly, Elizabeth was standing -- it seems likely that she actually was in the shot. She may have been an extra extra.

If so, if she shows up in the rushes, I invite TCF Vancouver Productions to forward her day rate care of TheTyee.ca. And, hey, if you need any more help, don't hesitate to call. We're quick learners, good listeners and no one is faster with a couch.

Have a story to share about stumbling into a location movie set, or some other encounter, positive or negative, with film shoots in B.C.? Share it in a comment below, please!