Please Advise! What’s with the BC Right-Wing War?

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

Conservative Party of BC Leader John Rustad recently accused breakaway party OneBC of practising “blackmail” against Conservative MLAs. “The broader goal is to divide our party and potentially take it over,” Rustad wrote in a five-page statement.

Meanwhile OneBC has accused Rustad of busing in supporters to rig the vote and strengthen his control at the Conservative party annual general meeting.

What's going on with the political right in this province?

Signed,

White Male

Dear WM,

Some people can't quite adjust to prosperity. That was the entire plot of The Beverly Hillbillies. Jed Clampett was a-shootin’ at some food, when up through the ground come a-bubblin’ crude.

Next thing you know, old Jed's the leader of the Opposition. That's the B.C. version, anyway. On election day John Rustad tapped into an underground well of crude and next thing you know, old John's got a fancy office, a big chair and a new title.

But just as Jed Clampett had a big house and a cement pond but still ate crawdads and salted possum, Rustad has found it hard to leave the old ways behind. His transition from the political wilderness to the halls of power was abrupt, and it shows. Major political figures don't usually engage in these sorts of feuds. But Rustad still behaves like the right-wing bomb thrower he used to be. You can take the man out of the fringe, but you can't take the fringe out of the man.

Rustad's barbs are certainly aimed at a legitimate target, OneBC, the new splinter party made up of hard-right warriors like Dallas Brodie and Paul Ratchford. OneBC is actually a perfect name for the party. It positions them both geographically and temporally — 1 BC is roughly the historical period they'd like to return the province to.

Unfortunately for Rustad, his political amplifier seems stuck on 11. Blackmail is a serious charge and the Conservative leader has yet to back it up with any evidence.

Generally, once you climb to the top of the heap, or at least the comfy shoulder of the heap, you stop responding to all the spitballs coming from those losers down in the trenches. Rustad, though, remains a brawler. His charges gave Premier David Eby a chance to put on his Very Serious Face and say that if Rustad would not offer evidence of said blackmail, the government would take over and undertake its own investigation.

A charge of blackmail raises a question. Just what sort of revelation could one use to blackmail a Conservative MLA? Perhaps a private text suggesting public health care may not foreshadow a slide into Marxist terror? A receipt proving recent Botox injections were performed by an immigrant? CCTV video of a loonie tossed to a panhandler? A secretly recorded “Good morning,” spoken to an atheist?

Apparently not. It seems the alleged blackmail material involves Conservatives expressing doubts about Rustad's leadership, and/or complaining about vote rigging at the party convention. Join us, OneBC allegedly threatened, or we shall reveal your disloyalty. Seems like it would come out either way, but fine.

After Wednesday's Conservative caucus meeting, Rustad did dial back his accusations a little, telling reporters that perhaps “blackmail” had not been the best word choice.

Political observers are likely to draw the obvious conclusion from Rustad's statement — blackmail. Clearly, OneBC has kidnapped his dog. Watch the tape and you will see Rustad blinking in Morse code.

Many British Columbians are likely to view this battle the same way they saw the recent contretemps involving Donald Trump and Elon Musk — it's a shame there has to be a winner. You find yourself cheering every punch, regardless of whose chin it lands on. It's like a hockey game where you bet the “over” on goals scored — you're just hoping both goalies are sieves.

So now it's time to say goodbye to John and all his kin. Premier Eby would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in. Y'all come back now, y'hear?