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Coronavirus

2020 Hindsight: The Year in Lessons

The pandemic was like a nightmare substitute teacher. Steve Burgess takes stock.

Steve Burgess 22 Dec 2020TheTyee.ca

Steve Burgess writes about politics and culture for The Tyee. Find his previous articles here.

One day we’ll look back on all this and scream and scream and scream. Here are some of the hard lessons we learned in the School of 2020.

The bladder is the most important organ in the human body

Without it you might never have gotten out of bed this year.

Your breath is terrible

This bit of self-knowledge brought to you by masks. Thanks again, COVID.

Let it go

You can control how far you stand from the person in front of you. You can’t control how close the person behind you stands. Accept the ways of lineup Zen.

Lines on a supermarket floor are invisible

Mask-wearing took reasonably well. Social distancing was generally accepted. Those direction lines on the floor of the grocery store? Why not dress up like a traffic cop and go find a litter of kittens? You’ll have just as much success.

One good pandemic deserves another

That would be the paranoia pandemic. We have frequently been reminded this year that conspiracies are a fool’s idea of cleverness. But paranoia has not only come from the whiners and whack jobs and Conservative MP Pierre Poilievre banging on about the “Great Reset.” There’s also the personal kind. You feel a little tired; you have a bit of a headache; oh God, was that a cough? This is it... you’ve got it for sure... [repeat daily for eight months].

Libertarian is a synonym for asshole

COVID-19 has been a scouring force in more ways than one. While it has taxed our health-care system and our economy, it has also shone a pitiless spotlight on our politics. In particular it has illuminated the moral bankruptcy of libertarianism. Your right to act like an asshole has limits, asshole.

Sneezes are a blessing

A cough might be COVID-19. A sneeze definitely isn’t. Come on, sneeze!

Death, be not proud

Herman Cain’s death, possibly from COVID-19, did not stop him from tweeting that the whole COVID thing was not that big a deal. Pretty weak, Death.

North Macedonia is a NATO member

In March 2020, North Macedonia joined the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. That was about it for March, non-pandemic news-wise.

The currency of a post-apocalyptic society

Turns out it’ll be toilet paper. Who knew?

Recounts matter!

In British Columbia, the BC Greens made an election night breakthrough with their first seat on the mainland — until they didn’t. A West Vancouver-Sea to Sky recount gave the seat to the Liberal Jordan Sturdy by 60 votes.

Recounts don’t matter!

In the United States, the Donald Trump campaign spent $3 million for a recount in some Wisconsin counties. The result was 87 more votes for Biden/Harris. That was sweet of them, really. Merry Christmas!

Cher rules

During an appearance on the Stephen Colbert program, Cher mentioned that she had visited Democratic phone banks in Nevada and Arizona — two of the crucial states that tipped the Electoral College to Joe Biden. Cher should have had right of first refusal on the secretary of state gig.

Masks can speak

More to the point, the absence of one speaks volumes.

Santa Claus is real

The only remaining mystery is whether the real St. Nick is Ryan Reynolds or Dolly Parton.

God is real. Or wait, maybe not God...

It’s everywhere — invisible, but powerful. Some people don’t think it’s real. But it is. And it punishes non-believers. Why hasn’t anyone started a Church of COVID-19 yet?  [Tyee]

Read more: Coronavirus

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