"Roll up for the Mystery Tour/ The Magical Mystery Tour/ Is hoping to take you away" -- The Beatles Magical Mystery Tour.
Come on British Columbia -- Premier Christy Clark's Magical Mystery Campaign Tour is dying to take you away!
Just drop a big hit of this free LNG and it will be a psychedelic, far out, groovy good trip -- satisfaction guaranteed!
Jump on the liquifed natural gas fueled BC Liberal Party bus and we'll drive you to fiscal nirvana, baby!
$100 billion in a Prosperity Fund! And "100,000 high paying jobs," man!
What's that? You're not so sure it's safe?
Don't be such a bummer, man! Hear the Christy word!
"LNG is the industry that will make British Columbia debt-free," Clark told skeptical media downer-types last week.
Jumping into LNG is a gas, gas, gas -- that will pay for, well, like, everything, man! LNG will wipe out B.C.'s entire $56 billion debt in just 15 years -- it will disappear right before our eyes!
What? Well, yes Christy has increased B.C.'s debt by $11 billion in just two years in office.
Uh, yeah, Christy plans to add another $13 billion more debt in the next three years.
Um-hmm, that would make Christy the premier who raised B.C.'s debt by $24.3 billion -- that's 54 per cent in five years -- the fastest in provincial history.
Too many hits
But who cares? This LNG stuff is totally magical, even if it's a mystery when we will see the cash, since there aren't actually any LNG plants being built yet. But don't worry! And like, I really need one of those "100,000 high paying jobs" from LNG.
Huh? B.C. actually lost 34,800 private sector jobs since Christy launched her B.C. Jobs Plan in September 2011?
And Statistics Canada shows B.C. is in ninth place for job creation since then? Wow! You are kind of freaking me out!
My head is spinning -- maybe I took too many hits, because everything seems totally unreal.
You were right, man, this BC Liberal Magical Mystery Tour is just one LNG bad trip!