[Editor’s note: this poem is from Teen Angst: A Collection of REALLY BAD Poetry, edited by Sara Bynoe. Send your own poems in to the Tyee's Teen Angst Poetry Contest ]
This is the first “love poem” I ever wrote. I was in grade eight, dating a guy in grade nine. I think he really should have been in grade ten, but he failed grade one or something. Apparently, he was quite the player because I was rumored to be girlfriend #572, but since we had lasted two weeks already, I knew that this was something serious. So James and I are at the local amusement park, with a bunch of friends, having a great day. We’re in line for the log ride with my best friend when he turns to me and says, “I love you.”
Now, I’m thirteen years old, and I know this guy is a player, and I’m not too sure how into him I am. I am dating him because we like the same music, he has cool friends, and he’s the first guy to ever ask me out, so I say, “thanks,” and give him a kiss. I don’t think I ever said it back to him - or at least not in that moment. This poem is what came out of me not knowing how to answer him.
Just so you know - because it is referred to in the poem - James was part of those modeling scams where they have a big meeting at a mall then hire on some suckers who are willing to pay money to get a portfolio, and to take classes to learn how to walk. At the age of thirteen, I knew that it was a scam, but still it was cool to have a boyfriend that was a model even if everyone teased him about it.
The best thing that came out of dating James was that this was the beginning of my angst-filled teenage life and my career as a teen-angst poet. Thank you James for telling me you loved me after two weeks, and thank you for cheating on me after that.
I wonder what you’re thinking, so I ask
Are you contemplating things in your past?
I don’t care about what you were
I don’t care aobut your games
To me, you are only James
You’re kind, caring and fun
The list goes on until I am done
You’re more than words can say
I don’t think your modeling is gay
If you must know - I do like you
but it’s more than like
It’s not quite love
but it’s more than like.
PS: I must apologize for the immature use of the word “gay” in this poem. I was thirteen.
Sara Bynoe is the creator of www.TeenAngstPoetry.com and the editor of Teen Angst Poetry: A Celebration of REALLY BAD poetry. She regularly performs bad poetry readings in Vancouver.
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