In Alberta, Queer Families Are ‘Not OK’

[Editor’s note: This piece includes depictions of suicidal ideation among youth.]

This past summer, we delighted in watching a trans child move about his world with ease and happiness.

Ever since he learned to walk, he’s been the kind of kid who loved to run around without a shirt. We were so happy to see him this summer at campgrounds and public pools topless, fitting in effortlessly with the boys — just as he wanted.

Until recently, this child had every expectation that he could have puberty blockers with his parents’ consent. It was his expectation that he would never have to experience the dysphoria of undergoing female puberty.

This all changed on Oct. 31, 2024, when the Alberta government introduced three sweeping bills (Bills 26, 27 and 29) that will affect the daily lives of youth.

As parents and researchers, we are deeply concerned about the implications of these bills.

What the bills pledge to do, and how they will cause harm

Bill 26 bans trans-affirming health care, including gender-affirming surgeries, hormone therapy and puberty blockers.

Puberty blockers “buy time” for trans, gender-diverse and intersex youth by pausing irreversible physical changes (e.g., secondary sex characteristics such as breasts, body hair, growth of Adam’s apple) that can be deeply harmful for the mental health of trans youth.

Blockers have been used safely and researched extensively since the 1980s, and will continue to be available to cisgender youth who experience early puberty. According to the Alberta pediatric association, they decrease suicidality for trans youth, are reversible and have few side-effects.

Bill 27 requires parental consent for all students under 15 who want to change their name and/or pronouns at school. For 16- and 17-year-old students, schools will be required to notify parents.

This means LGBTQI2S+ youth will be forcibly outed to their families. While some trans and gender-diverse youth are accepted by their families, 30 per cent of families reject their children when they come out.

For those who experience family rejection, the rates of suicide are incredibly high. According to the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, 79 per cent of those rejected by their families experienced suicidal ideation and 43 per cent have made a suicide attempt.

Finally, Bill 29 will effectively prevent transgender girls and women from participating in competitive and recreational sports with cisgender girls and women, even in elementary school.

As we have written elsewhere, these discriminatory bills — the most draconian that any provincial government in Canada has tabled — are not rooted in science or evidence, and have been critiqued extensively by many organizations, including the Canadian Medical Association, the Canadian Paediatric Society, the Canadian Psychological Association and Canadian Women and Sport.

These bills are part of a global rise in anti-trans legislation, including in the United States and here in Canada in New Brunswick and Saskatchewan.

This type of anti-LGBTQI2S+ legislation is widely lauded by conservatives.

It was part of the reason Alberta Premier Danielle Smith won her leadership review with 91.5 per cent approval two days after these bills were introduced.

Capturing the experiences of families as the three new bills roll out

For the past two years, we have been publishing our analyses about the “parental rights” movement in Canada and the rise in anti-LGBTQI2S+ sentiments.

Because the anti-LGBTQI2S+ legislation in Canada is so new, academic research documenting its impacts does not yet exist.

This gap in knowledge motivated us to undertake a research project that could capture the experiences of parents in Alberta as the three new bills roll out.

Set in Calgary, Alberta, our study involves 10 families who have committed to bimonthly focus groups for 12 months.

By facilitating conversations with parents, our aim is to track the short- and long-term impacts of the anti-LGBTQI2S+ climate in Alberta.

The participants in our study are a mix of straight, cisgender, queer and trans parents who are parenting trans, gender-diverse, intersex and queer kids. Below, we have used pseudonyms to protect their identities.

So far we have held two focus groups with parents — the first took place one month before the legislation was introduced, and the second was one month after the legislation was tabled.

Families already experiencing negative outcomes

The 10 families in our study are already experiencing negative outcomes from Alberta’s impending anti-trans legislation.

The legislation has created a lot of fear and anxiety in LGBTQI2S+ youth. Youth are missing a lot of school, experiencing falling grades and self-harming.

In this context, parents are afraid for their children’s safety.

Many parents we spoke with have LGBTQI2S+ kids who were once out and proud, but they have “been forced back into the closet” because of increased harassment and anti-LGBTQI2S+ bias.

Balancing advocacy with protecting their children from harm has been particularly tricky for many families.

And it is not just LGBTQI2S+ kids experiencing new hostilities.

According to Courtney, cisgender siblings of LGBTQI2S+ kids are hearing hateful rhetoric in the schoolyard and are unsure of when and how to speak up without also becoming a target of bullying.

For kids on the precipice of puberty, the looming threat of a ban on hormone blockers has been devastating.

Sara told us her child has been suicidal since Smith’s announcement last winter.

“She didn't have any hope,” they told us. “She made us promise her that if she did do that [die by suicide], that she would have a pink tombstone so that everyone would always know she was a girl.”

The mental health and well-being of LGBTQI2S+ kids are a major concern for all of the parents in our study.

The loss of access to sports is especially daunting for kids who have used it as an outlet. Courtney told us that her child exclaimed, “I would die if I couldn't play [sport]. I would die.”

According to Courtney, the loss of sports will take a huge toll on her child’s mental health. “That's one thing that makes her happy,” she said. “It’s one thing that she loves to do.”

Many of the parents in our study talked about their children shutting down or not wanting to speak about the policies or their impacts.

Some parent-child relationships have become strained because of the government’s intervention into their lives.

For Maia, the policies have “caused all these little micro issues” and a “loss of innocence.”

With the pressure of the impending policies and focus on LGBTQI2S+ kids, Maia said her child “can't just be free anymore.”

What families need now

One of the biggest sentiments we heard in our most recent focus group is that queer families feel alone.

Parents of LGBTQI2S+ kids unanimously expressed sadness and disappointment that their friends and extended family members haven’t checked in with them or offered any support since the legislation was tabled on Oct. 31.

For Maia, the silence has been “deafening.” The message families are receiving is that people are OK with the policies being proposed in Alberta.

If you have been silent, we are calling you in. Please check on trans, gender-diverse and intersex youth and their families. We are not OK.

Without explicitly checking in and offering support, LGBTQI2S+ families aren’t sure who is on their side. As a result, parents expressed needing more explicit signs that people are safe and supportive.

As progressive Pride flags are removed in schools and other public spaces, and neighbours turn on queer families, we no longer know who has our backs and where our kids are safe.

Queer children need to hear that they’re welcome from the adults in their lives like teachers, coaches and politicians, said Courtney, one of the parents in the focus group. “Wear the pins, wear the badges. Put up the stickers. Be a safe space and say it out loud.”

While some parents felt as though only those with a direct connection to the issues were advocating for queer youth and their families, another parent, Olivia, shared a sobering reminder with the group.

“This legislation limits all of their children's rights. Just because you don't know your kid is trans doesn't mean that your kid's rights aren't being taken away,” she said.

“It affects them just because they're losing rights as citizens. Your kid still has these rights, whether they need to exercise them or not.”

Toward a supportive, inclusive horizon

Despite our individual and collective sense of despair, we must never lose hope that the future will be supportive and inclusive for LGBTQI2S+ youth, adults and families.

There are currently 1.3 million Canadians over 15 who identify as LGBTQ2S+.

Over the past few decades, LGBTQI2S+ individuals in Canada experienced steady gains in rights and legal protections, including in the Canadian Human Rights Act, the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and the Civil Marriage Act.

The LGBTQI2S+ community is strong, and we will fight discriminatory pieces of legislation, just as we have done in the past.

When it comes to the recent anti-LGBTQI2S+ bills, queer families need you to fight alongside them. Now is not the time to be silent.

As we have written previously, there are many ways to support LGBTQI2S+ youth right now.

Now is the time to educate yourself about gender-affirming health care, and to become a stronger ally by intervening in conversations that perpetuate mis- and disinformation about trans and gender-diverse people.

Telling personal stories about the LGBTQI2S+ people in your life can make a huge difference in people’s understanding. As one of our research participants put it, “It is hard to hate people up close.”

It is essential that we remind leaders, policymakers and community members that we are talking about removing children’s right to be kids.

LGBTQI2S+ kids are kids. They sleep with their tattered and cherished teddy bears, they fight with their siblings, they love cuddles and just want to play soccer.

These kids deserve to grow up in a world where our key institutions like schools, health care and government and leaders see their humanity. They deserve the same kind of childhood their cisgender friends are experiencing.

They do not deserve to be political pawns in leadership races, and they shouldn’t have to worry if the future will be safe for them.

In the gender-euphoric future we imagine, leaders and policymakers here in Canada and around the globe ask LGBTQI2S+ youth and their families what they need. Leaders will be truly committed to inclusion for these families in every aspect of society.

Because of these commitments, these kids — including that joyous tween who couldn’t wait to cannonball into the pool last summer — will grow up to be happy, healthy and affirmed adults.

They will have had access to gender-affirming health care throughout and beyond puberty. They will not be forcibly outed by schools, and they will have the opportunity to play sports. They will receive robust sexual education where their parents don’t have to “opt in” so that all youth can make informed and consensual choices in their relationships.

Most importantly, they will know their value in society and will grow up with a strong sense that they are deeply loved by their parents, friends and community.

They will be safe to be who they are, and they will focus on their hopes and dreams, not their worries and fears.