Marking 20 years
of bold journalism,
reader supported.
Views

The Fringe Festival of Democracy

Here are snapshots of some of the smaller parties seeking your vote.

Tom Hawthorn 28 Mar 2005TheTyee.ca

Tom Hawthorn is a veteran reporter who lives in Victoria, B.C. He shares his obsession with sports oddities with Tyee readers whenever he gets a chance.

Reporting Beat: Sports and culture.

Twitter: @tomhawthorn

Website: Tom Hawthorn

(Some natural coalition partners may be ascertained. The Work Less, Marijuana and Sex parties may find much common ground. At the very least, just imagine the fun to be had at the founding convention.)

B.C. MARIJUANA PARTY
PROMISE: “The insanity of prohibition must end.” SLOGAN: “Tokers of the world unite.” CLAIM TO FAME: Earned 3.22 per cent of the vote after running a full slate of candidates in 2001.

EMERGED DEMOCRACY PARTY OF B.C.

POLICY: “We must stop the destructive swing left-left-left and then swing right-right-right pattern in B.C. governments.”

TRUE FACT: Only party whose initials (ED) match those of Erectile Dysfunction.

WEIRD ADMISSION: Party has placed “poison pills: in its constitution “should 10,000 ICBC case lawyers join the party and try to hijack our agenda.”

LEADER: Tony Luck of Abbotsford. Good luck.

B.C. CITIZENS ALLIANCE NOW
MOTTO: “Yesterday is history.” POLICY: Premier “should not be allowed to become a dictator.” STAR CANDIDATE: Kaldep (Kal) Gidda of Okanagan Falls manages two vineyards for his brother’s Mt. Boucherie Estate Winery. Hic hic hooray.

CITIZENS ACTION PARTY
SELLING POINT: “A party comprised of new people, not recycled politicians.” BEST CAMPAIGN RHETORIC: Leader William (Bill) Savage of Delta calls Gordon Campbell’s Liberals a “band of brigands.”

B.C. MODERATE DEMOCRATIC MOVEMENT
SELLING POINT: “BC’s only true middle‚ party.” SLOGAN: “Turning me to we is not only essential, it is natural.” BEST CAMPAIGN RHETORIC: With Liberals on the right and NDP on the left, “why keep swinging?” (See Sex Party, above.) BEST IDEA: Free post-secondary education for all citizens. NO-SHIT-SHERLOCK DEPT.: “We believe the way to prosperity is through all of us being prosperous.”

FREEDOM PARTY OF B.C.
PLATFORM: “Free enterprise with a social conscience.” EXPERIENCE: Party leader Kenneth M. Keillor has lost three elections for Abbotsford mayoralty; finished only 11,822 votes behind winning Liberal candidate in Abbotsford-Clayburn in 2001. DOG-ATE-MY-HOMEWORK DEPT.: “Having my life threatened while campaigning for mayor interrupted some of my courses at the University College of the Fraser Valley.” BIOGRAPHY: Keillor is a recording artist and founder of The Punks Inc. “He has been referred to as a ‘phenomenon‚’ and a ‘genius.’ Ken believes in humility...”

PARTY OF CITIZENS WHO HAVE DECIDED TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND BE THEIR OWN POLITICIANS
MOTTO: “Th?nk for yourself.” INSPIRATION: Party name inspired by H.L. Mencken aphorism. CLAIM TO FAME: Most unwieldy acronym in politics with POCWHDTTFTABTOP OUTRAGEOUS CHARGE: “Canada is developing its first gestapo under “welfare administrations.”

PEOPLE’S FRONT
INSPIRATION: Follows the Maoist line of the Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada. CONFESSION: “Our hearts throb with the throbbing of the hearts of millions upon millions of workers.” BEST INSULT: George W. Bush is “U.S. imperialist chieftain.”

WESTERN REFEDERATION PARTY
SLOGAN: “Less Ottawa — More B.C.” PROMISE: “To turn the present phony democracy into a true democracy.” UNKNOWN FACT: Leader Dennis Shaw of Nanaimo, a former teacher, has had his writings praised on Zundelsite, the Web home of neo-nazi Ernst Zundel.

WESTERN CANADA CONCEPT
PURPOSE: “Preservation of our Christian culture and European heritage.” CALLS FOR: An independent nation of Western Canada. LEADER: Douglas Christie of Victoria, a lawyer notorious for making “common cause with a small, lunatic anti-Semitic fringe,” according to the Law Society of Upper Canada.

PLATINUM PARTY
FULL NAME: Platinum Party of Employers Who Think and Act to Increase Awareness TRUE CONFESSION: “As an outsider looking in at the operation of the government, it is mind boggling to try and figure it all out!”

ANNEXATION PARTY OF B.C.
POLICY: Province should join the United States as 51st state of the union. WEIRD HISTORICAL OBSESSION: A petition signed by 43 residents in 1869 calling for annexation to United States. TRUE FACT: B.C. would have been the 38th state in 1869 (after Nebraska but before Colorado).

REFORM PARTY OF B.C.
TAKES CREDIT FOR: A fixed election date. PROMISE: “Our party policies come not by rubber-stamping plans hatched in smoke-filled backrooms but from ideas put forward by ordinary members at the constituency level.” HARSH FACT: Some members left to join new Democratic Reform B.C.

WORK LESS PARTY
BEST IDEA: Outlaw unpaid overtime. SALES PITCH: “Help us make the rat-race history.” PROMISE: “You could have a life again.” REALITY SUCKS: “The Work Less Party is not going to win this election.” OVER-THE-TOP RHETORIC: “Gordon Campbell is a 21st Century version of the Reverend Jim Jones. He’s got a big smile, a reassuring manner, and a nice big glass of Kool-Aid for every one of your children.”

In the “where are they now” drawer:

SOCIAL CREDIT
PROMISE: Believes in “special treatment for none and equal opportunities for all.” HARSH FACT: Party history mentions W.A.C. Bennett four times, Bill Vander Zalm twice and Rita Johnson once; former Socreds Rafe Mair, Grace McCarthy and Flyin‚ Phil Gaglardi relegated to dustbin of history.

CONSERVATIVE PARTY
SLOGAN: “Ethos, Logos, Pathos.” WEIRD HISTORICAL FACT: Has not formed government since 1928. UPHILL SLOG: Has not elected an MLA in 25 years. STEEP UPHILL SLOG: Party leader Barry Chilton is homeless since house fire; plans to run in West Kootenay-Boundary while crashing with relatives.

And last but not least:

NONE OF THE ABOVE PARTY OF B.C.
GOOD NEWS: Best name in politics. BAD NEWS: Sal Vetro has a weakness for cliches: “This is a grassroots party of the people, for the people and by the” yadda yadda yadda.  [Tyee]

  • Share:

Facts matter. Get The Tyee's in-depth journalism delivered to your inbox for free

Tyee Commenting Guidelines

Comments that violate guidelines risk being deleted, and violations may result in a temporary or permanent user ban. Maintain the spirit of good conversation to stay in the discussion.
*Please note The Tyee is not a forum for spreading misinformation about COVID-19, denying its existence or minimizing its risk to public health.

Do:

  • Be thoughtful about how your words may affect the communities you are addressing. Language matters
  • Challenge arguments, not commenters
  • Flag trolls and guideline violations
  • Treat all with respect and curiosity, learn from differences of opinion
  • Verify facts, debunk rumours, point out logical fallacies
  • Add context and background
  • Note typos and reporting blind spots
  • Stay on topic

Do not:

  • Use sexist, classist, racist, homophobic or transphobic language
  • Ridicule, misgender, bully, threaten, name call, troll or wish harm on others
  • Personally attack authors or contributors
  • Spread misinformation or perpetuate conspiracies
  • Libel, defame or publish falsehoods
  • Attempt to guess other commenters’ real-life identities
  • Post links without providing context

LATEST STORIES

The Barometer

Do You Think Naheed Nenshi Will Win the Alberta NDP Leadership Race?

Take this week's poll