Please Advise! Should BC Bring Back the Olympics?

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

The Beijing Winter Olympics are well underway. Now a Vancouver consortium including four local First Nations groups is launching a feasibility study for an Indigenous-led Vancouver Olympics bid for 2030.

Are you on board, Dr. Steve?

Signed,

Ringo

Dear Ringo,

OK, this is a tough one. Dr. Steve will admit a First Nations-led Vancouver Olympics is an interesting idea. But still — it’s the Olympics.

Whether you are a five-rings fan or not, the current iteration of the event has a doom-laden feel. It’s not just a routine radio news report to say the Beijing Winter Olympics feature a lot of red flags. The same government that has repressed its local Uyghur population, suppressed Hong Kong democracy, held the two Michaels hostage, silenced tennis star Peng Shuai, and recently accused Canada of sending Omicron to China in the mail, now opens its arms to the world and says “Together let us celebrate the wonders of slopestyle and mixed doubles curling.”

So far, the world seems reluctant. Variety reports that U.S. TV ratings are down 43 per cent from 2018, which itself was considered a low-rated Olympics. Canadian ratings aren’t available, but to this point enthusiasm seems muted. This may be the year’s most unfortunate televised athletic event not involving a Peloton.

It doesn’t help that COVID restrictions have turned Olympic venues into something like a sprawling top secret military site, drained of all public participation. Add to that the sneaking suspicion that the tight security seems to dovetail neatly with Chinese government love for media control, and the whole thing starts to feel like an unholy PR exercise. This could be the year the Olympics finally add the sport of shark-jumping.

But in spite of the IOC’s organizational history of corruption and amoral cynicism, the Olympics have managed to retain some of their glittering appeal as an international showcase. Now the Musqueam, Tsleil-Waututh, Lil’wat and Squamish First Nations hope to bring the event back to town 20 years after the 2010 event. Is it a good idea?

Many Vancouver area residents will have memories of the crowds that lined the streets around Robson and Burrard streets, waving flags, making noise and generally carrying on. Actually, that was just last weekend when the anti-mask, anti-vaxers turned out. Dr. Steve got all nostalgic — it was like the Olympics for dummies. While we have no idea what the politics of 2030 will look like, it is fair to say that local attitudes to street mobs have changed somewhat since the happy 2010 moment when Sidney Crosby scored the golden goal for Team Canada.

Squamish First Nation Coun. Wilson Williams recently told Global News that a 2030 Olympic bid would have the advantage of pre-existing 2010 infrastructure.

That could be a drawback. Blowing public money is a time-honoured Olympic event. It might be necessary to dismantle the Canada Line and build it again — because, umm, the cars were facing the wrong way — just so we can spend the expected amount of cash. Otherwise, we will have to search for new white elephants to build. Perhaps a multimillion-dollar indoor biathlon track completely encased in bullet-proof glass, which we can later use as a shed to store road salt. Or we can hold the snowboard events in Kamloops, allowing us to spend enough Olympic bucks to put a slide-proof roof down the entire length of the Coquihalla.

There are other unsavoury Olympic traditions to consider. Will Vladimir Putin still be around in 2030? Don’t bet against it. So would a Vancouver 2030 Winter Olympics lead to another Russian invasion of Ukraine? Putin is like a werewolf triggered by the five rings instead of a full moon.

There is also an argument to be made that a First Nations Olympics could amount to an exercise in greenwashing for the IOC, a way of rehabilitating their organizational image even as little changes in the Olympic movement long-term.

On the other hand, one can argue it’s wrong to criticize an organization for bad behaviour and then bitch about hypocrisy when they seek to do better.

Williams told CBC Radio an Indigenous Olympics would showcase “our stories of who we are, where we come from as Indigenous peoples for the four nations, and respectfully, all nations throughout Canada.”

A First Nations-led 2030 Olympics bid is ultimately an expression of optimism. Dr. Steve is not sure he can do optimism. It comes about as easily to him as strapping boards to his feet and sliding downhill at 130 kilometres per hour. So for now, Dr. Steve will restrict himself to a more basic ambition for 2030: getting there.