Abandon My Playstation? Never!

Hello, my name is Barry and I am a Playstation One Junkie.

I thought I would introduce myself to the group.

I can stop at any time, so I don't quite know what I am doing at this meeting. I don't have a Playstation problem. Maybe I have a time problem. Not enough time. To play games. And also work and stuff.

It started at a garage sale. Used Sony Playstation One console for $10. Works fine. Came with a few games. Kids of the family had moved up to Xbox and Playstation 2. I bought it.

Later on, at other garage sales and flea markets, kept finding PSOne games. Cheap. $5. $2. Sometimes free with spare controllers. Kids can't get rid of this stuff fast enough.

Right now, the market is perfect. Every kid, teen and twenty-something has moved on to Playstation 2, Xbox or Gamecube. Adults don't have any interest in this stuff. The normal crowds at garage sales and flea markets just pass this stuff by. I have it all to my self. For now...

With darting eyes and paranoid glances over my shoulder, I scower every flea market table. Every box. Ah... kid's stuff ... let's see, Elmo, Barney, socks, Hot Wheels ... bingo the PSOne logo .... 15 games in cases .. a couple of controllers... look relaxed, keep it cool.. "So, uh, how much do you want for these kid's games?"

"You can have the whole box for $10."

Whoa. Knees wobbly. Breathe slowly. I dare not show any joy. Keep cool. This little $10 purchase is equal to $60 in trade at EB Games. That translates to 8 or 10 new (used) games for me!! Ha! Sold.

I can stop at any time. Seriously.

Eventually, I take the finished or duplicate games I find into EB Games, which sells new games and trades old PSOne games. Buy memory cards there. Bought some better digital controllers. One black. One dark grey. Stylish.

To spend an afternoon in EB is eye-opening. Fifteen-year-olds pleading with mom for an advance in their allowance all the way through 2015. Man. You got it bad, kid. You just sold your soul. For a game that reviewers say really sucks. Shoulda waited. Got to pick your moments.

What sets me back, though, are the young volunteers in the store. Kids about 16 or 17, maybe 20. They volunteer to help customers with gaming questions, in exchange for credit on new games. Hardcore Junkies. But they know their stuff. They know the inside scoop on old PSOne games. Hot tips. Advice you don't get just anywhere. Fellow junkies are good to each other that way.

I can stop at any time.

It's Blasto I am most addicted to. A simple enough looking game. But night after night, I keep staying up late to finish the level.

Worse. I've learned to save my game with maximum lives, then proceed into the new level... sacrificing maybe 10 or 15 lives until I learn the lay of the land. Then I reload the game where I was ... keeping my life-count high. It's an obsession.

No, I'm not really interested yet in PS2 or the new Xbox. There are too many great games for PSOne that are just fine for me and give me my fix. Improve my reflexes and thumb control. Competition is fierce, so better to hone my skills here, now, on this platform, before moving up. Then they'll be sorry. Look out! In time I'll be able to mop the floor with any 10-year old nephew or niece that comes a calling to play Mario. Ha!

I am mid-forties, by the way. Middle age supposedly. Should know better. I do have a life. Or at least I used to have a life. Now I have my worlds, my little worlds where I am amazing. Strong. Fast. Agile. Kill aliens. Explore new worlds. Boldy go.

Save the babe. Save whole worlds. No, no need to thank me. Just doin' my job. I ain't no hero, just the best Blasto player you'll even know.

I know what cheats are. I know what hints are and nod my head when I read old reviews of PSOne games on the Internet. "Yes," I agree, "Game play is good, but 3D implementation is frustrating and awkward."

Indeed.

The Italian Job game is a lot of fun. Oddworld. Diablo. Ape Escape. Rally Sport. Make it stop. I am addicted now. I don't answer the phone. I time my save-breaks to go pee and get a drink. My bladder is stretching, I can feel it. I have lost weight, but taken on a new sofa-slouch position that can't be good for my rapidly-approaching old age. My body is slacking, getting flabby and grey. Okay, more flabby and grey than normal.

I can stop at any time.

I hear rumor now of online games where you go and play with other people from all over the world, 24 hours a day. I better not even look. Okay, maybe just a peek.

Uh say, you got any PSOne games you're getting rid of? How 'bout yer kids? They done with PSOne games? You're probably getting them Xbox for Christmas right? ... so... just in case you have some PSOne games left over. Ahem. Cough.

I can stop at any time.

Barry Warne is a writer who works at the School of Journalism at UBC.