Please Advise! Why on Earth Is Trudeau on the Colbert Show?

[Editor’s note: Steve Burgess is an accredited spin doctor with a PhD in Centrifugal Rhetoric from the University of SASE, situated on the lovely campus of PO Box 7650, Cayman Islands. In this space he dispenses PR advice to politicians, the rich and famous, the troubled and well-heeled, the wealthy and gullible.]

Dear Dr. Steve,

Did you watch Justin Trudeau on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Monday night?

Signed,

Night Owl

Dear NO,

Dr. Steve did indeed stay up. Good thing CBS doesn't give a damn about their Canadian ratings. If they had checked recent polls they'd surely have swapped Trudeau for Casper the Singing Dog from America's Got Talent. When Trudeau walked out onto the stage at the Ed Sullivan Theater, the streets of Calgary must have looked like the opening scene from SCTV, with TVs hurled from condo windows to the streets below.

On Monday, Global News interviewed a B.C. man named Brad Shirley who was lined up for Colbert tickets and not pleased to discover the prime minister was on the guest list. “Well, we can see him in Canada any time,” he told the reporter. “We have to come to New York to see him? Not the greatest holiday.”

Well, he probably wasn't thrilled to see you either, Brad. These days Trudeau would surely rather hang with Yanks. Who wants to hang out with Canadians like Conservative Lisa Raitt, who said his Colbert appearance was “dangerous for Canada”? Americans love Canada, because they know that's Canadian bacon in McDonald's breakfast wraps. And Americans still love Trudeau, as was evident by the enthusiastic reception that greeted his entrance. Colbert, who introduced Trudeau as a “former teacher and amateur boxer,” said, “I have never had the honour of meeting you before.” Trudeau doesn’t get that kind of reaction in Yorkton anymore.

The Ed Sullivan Theater is where Beatlemania began. It was followed four years later by Trudeaumania, a 1968 Canadian sensation that got a 2015 reboot when Trudeau fils won his first federal election. Would Justin's Sullivan Theater act cast him as Paul McCartney or Topo Gigio?

As it turned out, this would not be a hard day's night for the prime minister. Trudeau's appearance was, by almost any measure, a smash. Asked about Canada's global role, Trudeau said, “We do feel a responsibility and a desire to help out. And when Canadians show up, people are usually sure we are not there to impose or conquer; we're really there to help.”

Then he rushed into the audience and performed CPR on several swooning guests. Or so Dr. Steve presumes. Overall, it was like a flashback to Trudeau's halcyon “sunny ways” era. Trudeau called Canada “the best country in the world,” and the American audience actually applauded.

Traitors! Trump's constant references to America as a failed state seem to have had their effect.

At one point Colbert referred to Pierre Poilievre as “Canada's Trump,” adding, “I'm sorry about that.” In a tremendous act of restraint, Trudeau did not lean over and kiss him. The cheque — er, check — is in the mail, Mr. Colbert.

It wasn't all Canadian PR. Trudeau told Colbert that Canada is “not some magical place of unicorns and rainbows.” The NDP probably have attack ads full of weeping unicorns ready to go.

And the audience must have groaned to be treated to yet another late-night talk show discussion of softwood lumber tariffs. “You guys are paying too much for your lumber,” Trudeau said, “because you have tariffs on them, and we keep trying to point that out...” Jeez, every night it's the same. Can't somebody talk about Hollywood for once?

Movies did come up in one of the more controversial moments of the evening. Colbert, a Star Wars fan, played a clip of a very young Justin emerging from the Ottawa premiere of Return of the Jedi and telling a reporter it was the best Star Wars movie ever. Now, challenged by Colbert, Trudeau flip-flopped. The Empire Strikes Back is the best, he admitted. Well? Which is it, Justin? What will you flip on next?

And Colbert, to his credit, asked Trudeau to give his own explanation for why he was 17 points down in the polls. Without actually saying “People are sick of me,” Trudeau was straightforward in saying Canada has problems, and he is the face of them. It is hard to imagine Poilievre fielding that question without calling Colbert a Marxist.

In fact it was hard not to think of Pierre Poilievre throughout. Would he ever sit in that chair? The Conservative leader probably missed his best shot at American TV fame when Chuck Barris retired from The Gong Show. Anyone tuning in to Colbert tonight and seeing Poilievre would assume it was a plug for the Joker sequel.

But Trudeau was in his element. He was charming. He was self-effacing, yet confident. Talking about his entry into politics, he said, to cheers, “I was pretty good at it, and I am pretty good at it.”

“If you're driven by your actual passion to make a difference, it's a lot harder to get lost in politics,” he told Colbert. “You have to be fundamentally hopeful in this job. If you're not convinced you can make a positive difference, then you're not in the right line of work.”

At that point Pierre Poilievre's ears must have spontaneously combusted.

Is it too late for a political Justinaissance? Time will tell. But meanwhile, Trudeau ought to try for a booking on the Jimmy Kimmel show. He's probably got a solid shot at the White House.