The Meaning of Hockey, Chapter 27

The Lethbridge Hurricanes were owned and coached by a crazy family.

Bobby had played against Harvey House and his brothers Trent and Simon for much of his NHL career. The rivalry with Harvey in fact extended all the way back to junior. They had never been teammates and had always hated each other passionately. The dislike was also visited upon Harvey's siblings. So when Bobby stepped behind the player's bench during the pre-game skate and saw all three of the House brothers twenty feet away, behind the home bench, it brought back many memories.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I saw Harvey House bust his stick over a guy's head up in Saskatoon?" said Bobby to Troy as the players loosened up out on the ice.

Troy smiled. Perhaps he had heard the story before but he did not mind listening to it again.

"I must have been 17 or 18 and we were playing the Blades right near the end of the season. Both teams were fighting for a playoff spot so the game was pretty intense."

"The way I heard it, all the games between Moose Jaw and Saskatoon were pretty intense those days," said Troy.

"That's for sure," said Bobby. "Like the time coach Paul and coach Agar slugged it out at center ice. Five minutes, I swear, they went at it. Toe to toe. Fifty or sixty punches with each of them in street shoes and neither went down. Neither of them did any clutching or grabbing, either. That was the only time I ever saw Paul's fedora fly off. That man and that hat were inseparable. Those two guys hated each other so much coach Paul used to tell us that if we got hit near their bench we were supposed to fling our stick at Agar, like as if the stick had been knocked loose. Billy Dee, you ever heard of him?"

Troy shook his head.

"Played in the A for a few years after junior. Think I heard he was coaching over in England. Quite a character. Little shit disturber. You know the type."

"Fuck ya," said Troy.

"Anyhow, one time up in Saskatoon, he was bragging to everybody that he was going to get Agar. Whole game, I swear, he was hanging around the Blades' bench, just baiting their players to hit him. First two periods he was yapping, hacking and slashing, everything to set up his big plan. As we go out for the third period, he's smiling and laughing and boasting about how he's going to knock out whatever teeth Agar's got left. The game had already been pretty chippy and the fans were thirsting for blood, mainly Billy Dee's blood. First shift of the period he's out there and he sets himself up, waiting for a pass right in front of the Blades' bench. We're all watching and laughing cause we know what's coming. Dee nods to Mike Blackstone, his center, to pass him the puck, even though it's obvious this giant of a Blade defenceman is right there, ready to pop him. Anyhow, there goes the pass and here comes the Blade defenceman. Dee barely touches the puck before wham, crunch and the stick goes flying. Only thing, instead of hitting Agar, Dee throws the damn stick a bit too far and it goes into the stands and cuts this 18-year-old babe for thirty-seven stitches. Turns out she's the girlfriend of one of the Blades' tough guys. Holy Christ, it's the worst bench-clearing brawl I've ever seen."

The two coaches ignored the pre-game skate as Troy enjoyed the listening and Bobby the telling.

"I mean, guys were swinging sticks, jabbing with them, just like in Slapshot," said Bobby.

Troy's smile grew larger.

"I swear, there were twenty different fights going on at the same time. Even the fucking back-up goalies were swinging fists. Lasted a good half-hour and it took every on-duty cop in the city to break it up. They suspended the game, wouldn't have been any players left anyhow. Just under 700 minutes of penalties called. Fucking incredible."

"Who the fuck was your dance partner?" said Troy.

"Me?" said Bobby. "Who do you think?"

Bobby looked over towards the Hurricanes' bench.

"House?" said Troy.

"He was my permanent dance partner," said Bobby. "Agar used to send him out as my shadow. Never felt so good as when I scored in Saskatoon."

"He beat the shit out of you?"

Bobby smiled. "He was tougher than me, that's for sure. But that time I held my own pretty well. Actually, that was probably my best fight ever. Fucking House was one of the guys who jumped off the bench to grab Dee, so when I skated over from our bench I kind of surprised him."

"Sucker punch him?" said Troy.

"Much better," said Bobby. "Cross-checked the bastard from behind. Knocked him to the ice and I jumped on him. Held him, face squished into the ice, for a good five minutes while all the fighting is going on around us."

"You dirty bastard," said Troy.

"Hey, I was a lover not a fighter," said Bobby. "Fucking House was always hacking and whacking me. Only time I ever got a little back."

"You held him down for the whole fight?"

"Tried to," said Bobby. "But some asshole in a Blades' uniform - never did find out who - skated by at one point and clipped my cheek with his stick. Fucking blood starts spurting out and as I'm trying to react, House squirms free and gets up on his skates."

"Oh, oh," said Troy.

"Fucking oh, oh," said Bobby.

"He cream you?"

"Let's just say I didn't win any beauty pageants for the next month," said Bobby.

"Fucking stitches?" asked Troy.

"Not too bad," said Bobby. "Ten or something and mostly from the first guy's stick. But he busted my nose. That was the second time."

"Get's a lot fucking easier as you go along." Troy spoke from some experience.

"Ya," said Bobby. "And he chipped my tooth. Hurt like hell."

"That's why they used to say you're fucking better off to lose them quick," said Troy.

Bobby nodded. "Fucking House swallowed more than me, I can tell you that. When he went down he caught someone's skate right in the mouth. All the while he's swinging at me, he's spitting blood and teeth. After it was over, some of our guys thought I was near death cause of all the blood on me. But most of it was his. As I'm holding him tight, he's spurting all over my jersey, my pants, my socks. I swear he lost a couple of pints."

"Fuck Bobby," said Troy.

"Ya, one of the fucking highlights of my junior career," said Bobby. "Thank god, you don't see fights like that anymore."

"Fucking Hurricanes were fucking involved in one almost as fucking bad two years ago," said Troy. "And after it was over Harvey went after the ref. Popped him good and got a year suspension. That's why he missed most of last season."

"Not a big surprise," said Bobby. "Guy always was a dinosaur."

Both men stared at the Lethbridge bench. No words were spoken for about a minute.

Bobby's thoughts returned to Frida. He had tried to banish the memory of his early morning conversation, but the word "chameleon" kept returning.

Of course he said what he thought she wanted him to say. Wasn't that what women wanted?

"Thought you were going to tell me about House's stick swinging," said Troy, interrupting Bobby's thought.

The pre-game skate had ended and the Totems were beginning to leave the ice.

"I'll have to tell you that one later," said Bobby.

"Sure," said Troy. "Fucking time is one thing we got a lot of on a road trip."

"Right," said Bobby.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go," shouted Troy to nobody in particular as the Totems marched past them and the Zamboni crew prepared to clean the ice.

*** The game that night against Lethbridge was one of the most satisfying in Bobby's coaching career.

Once again Billy Weldon was spectacular in the first period, demoralizing the Hurricanes with hands faster than every puck shot on net.

Once again their opposition hacked and whacked the Totems in an effort to provoke a reaction and force penalties, which given Vancouver's still short roster would benefit the home team. This time however, Lalli, the Hurricanes' main target, did not react in the way Lethbridge, or Bobby, expected. This time Lalli took the stick work and waited for the referee to call a penalty.

When the inevitable whistle was blown, half way through the first period, Bobby knew he must leave the smooth-skating defenceman out on the power play. Lalli did not disappoint. He picked up the puck behind the Totem net on the first face-off and skated the length of the ice before setting up Kiniski on a tap-in at the right side of the net. The shots on goal at that point were 14-1 for Lethbridge, but the score was 1-0 Vancouver.

Although the rest of the period was still dominated by the Hurricanes, the period ended with the Totems up by one goal and Weldon enjoying a 0.0 GAA while in Vancouver's net. And going into the second period Bobby sensed, as one can with almost 40 years of hockey experience, that Lethbridge was already defeated. Both Buckinghorse and Vicente picked up hat tricks, while Kiniski had a goal and three assists as the Totems clobbered the Hurricanes 7-0.

Next Chapter: Wednesday

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