Opinion

Don't Let Oil Zombies Eat Your Brain

They are counting on you believing resistance is futile. Very soon, it will be.

By Matt Price, 31 Oct 2011, TheTyee.ca

Oil zombies

'Oiiiiiiiiiiil...' Image courtesy of benblogged.

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Ideology is a fancy word, much debated by philosophers. But, in the spirit of the Halloween season, it can be explained nicely with zombies.

What is the ideology of zombies? Easy: "Brains!" Or, more accurately: "Braaaaaains..."

In short, a zombie exists to eat brains, and his or her belief system and program of activity will be structured around the procurement, usually violent, of those brains.

Zombie corporations, zombie politicians, zombie newspaper pundits and zombie think tanks then set about trying to convince the rest of society of the merits of their ideology, doing their best to construct complex arguments that at their core, in fact, really boil down to the essence of it -- "Braaaaaains..."

And so it goes with the ideology of oil, now spilling over from the borders of Alberta where it has held sway for decades, and infecting Canadians from coast to coast.

Similarly, the ideology of oil is that because oil exists, it must be got, and it must be burned. Any critics must be deranged, damaged, discounted, discredited, and dismissed. Nothing must be allowed to stand in the way of "Oiiiiiil..."

What about 'ethical zombies'?

Oil ideology is increasingly on display in Canada these days. This past summer's recent meeting of provincial and federal energy ministers in Kananaskis started with a reasonable sounding discussion about needing a national energy strategy, but then ended in a hearty cry of "Oiiiiiil..." based on a rationale that would absolutely fry the planet.

Apparently, oil ideologues, like zombies, are here for a good time, not a long time.

Newspaper pundits outside of Alberta are also becoming infected like their wild rose colleagues. For example, Postmedia's Vancouver-based Barbara Yaffe, formerly concerned about climate change, has taken to writing pieces telling First Nations what's good for them (hint: "Oiiiiiil…"), and telling those not already infected that, in effect, resistance is futile, so you may as well happily join the zombie army.

And, in case we missed her condescension the first two times, now she is telling those not yet infected to "do their homework," as if she herself isn't just mindlessly repeating talking points from the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers.

Those who remain stubbornly unconvinced about the merits of the zombie lifestyle face a barrage of spin to weaken their defences. Most discussed these days is the spin about 'ethical zombies' -- the type that still violently eat your brains, but who at least say please and thank you while doing so.

What's to be done? Are we all destined to become infected and to suffer on an inhospitable planet? This is generally the part when an ass-kicking zombie killer enters the scene, tearing off gangrene limbs and sinking kitchen implements into other zombie parts.

How to survive out there

Yet, the ass-kicking zombie killer always finds there's simply too many of them, and that something must be done about the infection itself. Existing zombies may not be salvageable, but more people must not be allowed to fall victim to the curse.

This is where we find ourselves in Canada today. The good news is that we have a choice -- we have incredible clean energy resources to power our economy and to create jobs, more than enough to keep our fossil fuels safely in the ground so that our children have some measure of climate security, without which things really do look grim.

While there are clear alternatives, our challenge right now is the zombies themselves. We are almost overrun. Oil ideology holds sway right now where it matters -- in many federal and provincial capitals, editorial boards, companies, and Bay Street.

While we must continue to work hard pushing alternatives to the infection, we really do need more volunteers to join in with the ass-kicking so that the alternatives aren't drowned out by oil ideologues.

So don't just read this piece and click through to your next bookmark. Plug in. Write a letter to the editor. Join or donate to an NGO fighting the good fight. Volunteer for a political party that actually cares about the future.

Heck, run for office yourself even. But don't fall asleep. That's when they come for you.

[See more Tyee stories like this in: Energy.]  [Tyee]

19  Comments:

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  • igbymac

    29 weeks ago

    Which one would that be?

    "Volunteer for a political party that actually cares about the future."

  • woodworker

    29 weeks ago

    solutions

    Instead of doing what the writer says, come up with a real alternative to using oil that will work other than reducing the world population to a few million hunter gatherers or moving us back into the dark ages.

  • Kevin Washbrooki

    29 weeks ago

    Climate Polluter walking tour, with Zombies -- today!

    How timely, given that Zombie armies are rising today all along the west coast!

    Climate Polluter Lunch Hour Walking Tour, with Zombies! -- endorsed by Occupy Vancouver.

    Join our band of ghouls and zombies on a lunch hour walking tour of some of Vancouver's biggest corporate climate polluters. Let's shine a spotlight on these monsters -- it's their special day!

    Zombie face painting @ 11:30 at Burrard Skytrain (on Burrard), tour starts @ Noon @ RBC (Burrard & Georgia)

    http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=295875970441916

    Zombies rising in Portland as well, to take on Bank of America -- the US's biggest coal financier.

  • Talon

    29 weeks ago

    the sun

    There are many alternatives to the rapidly dwindling oil supply. Oil should be kept only for the most important uses (unless of course you could care less about future generations) and not wasted on Humvees and other mechanical monstrosities like WAR. The reason the sustainable alternatives are not more popular, like sunshine, is due to the fact that the Multinational Greed Corporations have not yet positioned themselves to dominate the sustainable energy marketplace. But they are working on that little problem! Where are those zombies when you need them.

  • seth

    29 weeks ago

    Problem solved

    Nuclear power is the practical solution for a quick switch off fossils and imported oil.

    A worldwide investment in 10000 mass produced nuclear reactors paid for by ending expensive fossil fuel use, would eliminate most air pollution saving millions of lives annually, end the global warming/ peak oil problem within a ten year time frame, provide a huge job producing boost to the economy, and require only a small part of our industrial capacity. All this at a 40% annual rate of return on our GDP.

    Nuclear electricity and steam would be used to replace natural gas in generation, and residential and industrial heating applications. The freed up natural gas would be used for CNG auto fuel and NG derived methanol and dimethyl ether would replace ethanol in current E85 flex fuel vehicles and in diesel in trucks and locomotives.

    As we switch to electric vehicles, and enough nuclear capacity is available off peak nuclear produced methane or methanol would fuel non electric vehicles.

    http://energyfromthorium.com/2011/10/29/nuclear-ammonia/

    Big Oil is terrified that folks will find out that it is feasable to replace their sickening pollution spewing economy wrecking product with mass produced nuclear power.

    They've purchased Big media our politicians to make sure it doesn't happen.

  • mopled

    29 weeks ago

    Who says?

    The world is awash in oil. It is the deliberately restricted refining capacity that is in short supply. With the technology available today,oil from coal could be produced for under $40 a barrel.

    The climate nonsense was concocted to cripple economies of those countries whose zombie politicians signed on to the idea of "decarbonization".

    The Banksters control oil along with coal and everything else. It is the Bankster System that Occupy Vancouver should be marching against, not the fiction that corporations are harming the climate.

    Banksters are the core of the problem, not their creatures, the corporations. It is time to stop borrowing from gangsters who charge interest on money created by fiat.

    "Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws."
    Mayer Amschel Rothschild

    One should add to "I care not who makes its laws". "because I can buy all the politicians I need."

  • Anidy

    29 weeks ago

    I enjoy Tyee artciles on many topics, but

    Any time it comes to the environment you get needlessly over the top, jump to conclusions, make statements without proper backing and basically call large swathes of reasonable people idiots on the basis of your own ideology which is also coloured by outside influence, namely that of activist groups which are also known to exaggerate to get 'the point across', even when exaggerate can often be interpreted as an outright lie, and since calling a protest group out on their bullshit is generally frowned upon it tends to go uncommented on. What the Vancouver Sun is doing, though bias, atleast has as much backing in truth as anything Tides or Dogwood or Greenpeace spouts.

  • MBCGA

    29 weeks ago

    What political party would that be ?

    "Volunteer for a political party that actually cares about the future."

    How about the Green Party ?

    Of all the parties, it is the one least connected to vested interests, and it is showing an increasingly sophisticated interest in promoting well-thought out economic policies. Take a closer look.

  • bisquy

    29 weeks ago

    small steps

    There are a lot of things we can start with to reduce oil consumption, starting with something most obvious to those that sit at computers all day: the computer/spin cycle/treadmill that powers a battery that powers the computer. What I wouldn't do for some exercise as I sit here figuring out databases, and other sedentary activities involving the buttwidening device. There is an entire gym that is powered by their cardio machines. One good place to start--human energy into appliances. If we find a lot of small ways to cut energy use, we can use a lot less.

  • spark

    29 weeks ago

    Matt Price's worst article

    This is without a doubt Matt P's worst article. Uses little rational argument,just disjointed outpourings, not sure what point he's trying to make. Almost as bad as most of Yaffe's ramblings.

  • jacksonupnorth

    29 weeks ago

    In Answer to Your Question

    Which one would that be? Any party but the Liberals. I enjoyed the article. It does get discouraging trying to put up any kind of resistance without being steamrolled by "Big Oil"

  • the real ODB

    29 weeks ago

    speaking of brains...

    or is it a lack of. Mopled, it doesn't matter how much oil there is, we have to stop burning it! Anidy, what cave have you been living in? No, don't tell me! Ever hear of the IPCC? For quick, easy (which should help you) coverage I recommend you peruse DesmogBlog. Spark, must be difficult for a brainiac such as yourself to exist alongside all the imbeciles.
    The irony is that if we don't get our shit together we will be zombies!

  • igbymac

    29 weeks ago

    I thought it wa s a quite humourous article

    all in all. We are zombies, in large part. Thinking independently of the rhetoric is damn near impossible, and it is always a challenge demanding us to repeatedly revisit what we take as common knowledge.

    Of all the things capitalism has brought us, good and bad, it is the commodification of our thoughts and consciousness which is most interesting.

    Zombies, indeed!

  • mopled

    29 weeks ago

    Desmogblog, surely you jest!

    "James Hoggan, PR man, who got paid $300,000 to set up a website attacking critics of global warming. That's right, DeSmogBlog is bought and paid for, and the irony is that its founding donor John Lefebvre, although a greenie, is now a convicted criminal done on money-laundering conspiracy charges. His company reportedly was also dabbling in carbon trading allowances as an offshoot from its online gambling business."
    "Hoggan donated money to the British Columbia Liberal Party, and also happened to receive lucrative BC government contracts.
    The B.C. Liberal Party received six donations totaling $8,943 from James Hoggan and Associates from 2005 to 2008. Hoggan's company was paid $353,855 by the B.C. government from 2005-2006 to 2007-2008, according to Public Accounts. Contracts included the Sea-to-Sky Highway expansion project and Canada Line."

    http://briefingroom.typepad.com/the_briefing_room/2009/11/look-whos-paying-global-warmings-top-bloggers.html
    Hoggan also sits on Suzuki's BofD
    "Hoggan’s client list includes or has included the National Hydrogen Association, Fuel Cells Canada, hydrogen producer QuestAir, Naikun Wind Energy and Ballard Fuel Cells. Mr. Hoggan, in other words, benefits from regulatory policy based on climate change science.”
    http://sppiblog.org/news/the-truth-about-desmogblog-and-sourchwatch

    As for having to stop burning oil...what the %#&@ for? The IPCC has been proven to be an absolute sham as a scientific organization.
    See this review of "The Delinquent Teenager Who Was Mistaken for the World's Top Climate Expert"
    http://www.londonbookreview.com
    /lbr0061.html

    The 3% additional CO2 that humans add to the atmosphere has even less of an effect on climate than the less than 4/100 of 1% (391 parts per million) that is the total of atmospheric CO2, which is almost unmeasurable.
    It really looks as if your brain got washed away by a deluge of junk science presented as fact by paid, professional PR agency fantasies, ODB

  • loblollyboy

    29 weeks ago

    What Corporate Zombies Really Want

    Grr. Arrgh*. Monnnneeeeyyyyy....
    (*thanx, Joss)

  • hapibeli

    29 weeks ago

    Oil zombies? EORI

    I've read about Peak Oil and the alternatives to inexpensive carbon derived fuels for 3 years now. I think that all who insist on "alternatives" need to gain a strong understanding of EROI; http://www.eoearth.org/article/Energy_return_on_investment_%28EROI%29

    If you begin to study the physical reality of energy inputs to outputs, you'll soon realize the fantasy of believing we can maintain anything like our current lifestyle or population. May I suggest 3 books? " Empires of Food", by Evan D.G. Fraser and Andrew Rima (because, after all, without food, we do not live), "The Long Descent, A User's Guide to the End of the Industrial Age", and "The Ecotechnic Future: Exploring a Post-Peak World", by John Michael Greer. ( because the fantasy of believing we can "have it all", is destroying our ability to survive as a species. The Earth WILL survive, whereas, we may or may not. At 60 years old, I may have 10-30 years left, and I'll certainly see the change from a modern North America to a more world normal economy and lifestyle. ( think 3rd world) Those of you who are 40 and under can expect a far less consumptive life. My wife and I are trying to live more simply, gardening, animal husbandry, building community with others, even as I use this internet to communicate. But this digital system is going to pass away as most of petroleum based life will.We need to have communities who stand together through local water supplies, food supplies, power supplies, libraries/education, and healing modalities. Relearn the mostly forgotten technology of pre-petroleum times.

    Technofix fantasies are the dreams of those who aren't willing to know the fate of all past civilizations. Our descent will not be an instant crippling fall, but it IS a slow demise of a thousand cuts. Many parts of the globe will suffer badly, while others will relearn ways of living that are satisfying, and even joyful, though physical labor will become more intense. Study those who live successfully in 3rd world conditions, and take their knowledge to heart.

  • Anidy

    29 weeks ago

    When did I ever deny global

    When did I ever deny global warming, Mr. Old Dirty Bastard, that is not what I was referring to. In my recent research for example I have found environmentalists often purposely misquoting, cherry picking and misinterpreting comments from all sorts of parties when it serves them. Sure that's just the nature of arguement but it is disheartening to see they are just as filthy in their methods as the oil companies they protest, if not more so. And what does this article say? It backs up none of its claim with any kind of evidence, it's a plain old directionless tirade based on pre-established ideas that may or may not be fact. For example, while I do believe in global warming, I don't believe that we are anywhere near reaching "Peak Oil", something many arguments against energy projects take as a given before they even start speaking.

  • mopled

    29 weeks ago

    BTW I haven't denied the Earth warmed either

    All the planets warmed at the same time as Earth did, some with and some without CO2 in their atmospheres. Also, about the influence of CO2 on Earth:

    "Lindzen explains that most of the greenhouse effect expected from a doubling of CO2 has already occurred and it only led to a 0.6 Celsius degrees increase or so (and much of this small change could be due to other reasons). Sea level is more affected by tectonics than warming. Warm weather is more comfortable than cold weather. Warming helped to improve agriculture in India. Aerosols are often claimed to explain all gaps in the data except that IPCC admits that the impact of aerosols is virtually unknown and probably insufficient to cancel the warming. Other wrong predictions are blamed in the capacity of oceans except that these explanations start to look contrived. He says that the models can be adjusted to agree with the past behavior once it's known but that's very different from having a model whose future predictions can be trusted. Instead of accelerating, warming has been absent for 10 years. Data don't confirm a crisis. "
    http://motls.blogspot.com/2007/03/intelligence-squared-climate-debate.html

    We all know ways to achieve abundance. First stop destruction. The prime way we destroy the Earth is with war.
    So, here we are , diverted by a phony issue and totally ignoring our participation in the destruction of other countries.
    Don't you think it peculiar that the Warmists get all the attention while the anti-war movement is buried under Green hogwash?
    Jeesh!

  • pwlg

    28 weeks ago

    i like it

    Great opinion piece!

    Now if only the industry had Ronald Reagan. Now there's a shill for industry!!!

    It's the '50's all over again.

    Get out that 20 Mule Team, progress, progress, progress...

    but to where?