All the Eh's down in Eh-ville
Liked green quite a bit
But this sent their leader, Steve, into a snit
Steve disliked greenies, and the whole greenie "scandal"
Granola, tofu, singing and sandals
No, he preferred jet fighters, prisons with fences
And protecting our freedom from the threat of the census
So he stumped for the tar sands, despite all their failings
Made a law telling ducks not to land on the tailings
And when Parliament passed a good climate bill
Steve made sure the Senate made the kill
(No matter the Senate he once said he'd scrap it
He liked it much better now that he stacked it)
But one day Steve was lonely, bored with attack ads
He thought about his subjects, all those Eh gals and lads.
"Why they're out drinking coffee at Tim's and Starbucks
The former I'll go see, the latter, tough luck!"
So he walked down to Eh-ville when the weather was fine
Thought he may put up a stimulus sign
Just as he wondered what votes this may pay
He was approached by Little Johnny-Jim Eh
Who, instead, asked Steve why he thought it so crafty
To cut the program that was to make his house less drafty
"Fret not, little man, things are quite rosy
When I'm cold, there's a blue sweater that keeps me quite cozy"
"But our climate," the boy asked, "who will look after it
When the fossil fuel boys treat it like s--t?"
"Ah, your bad facts must come from the CBC
When instead you should be watching the new Sun TV!"
"But the science," pressed Johnny-Jim, "isn't going away
You can't porogue nature, no way.
And, writing a book on hockey is nice
But how can you play it without any ice?
And, if you think illegal migrants are an issue today
Sea level rise will send a million our way!
Or, our friends the farmers, just how will they fare
When droughts and floods leave grain silos bare?"
All this sounded to Steve like a really bad dream
Or, even worse, some big socialist scheme
But then Johnny-Jim got to the stuff that is good
Once we decide to fight for the 'hood
"Eh-ville has lots of sun, wind and rain
That can power our hard work and play
And the jobs, the jobs, the jobs jobs jobs!
There's money in green -- great big fat globs!
A clean world needs shovels and hammers, that's plain
But also computers, teachers, and brains
You say more jobs you want to create
So, will you make our economy great?"
Steve began to think the boy had a point
And that maybe there was more to running this joint
He thought he may need better planning
And that maybe he really should listen to Manning
"Kid, you are right, we'll earn green going green
And tell our children about pollution long ago seen"
Some believe Steve's chakra grew by three sizes that day
But then again, those were the hippies at play
He swung into action, now keen to the max
Put in place the Stephan Dion tax
He started hanging out with Al Gore
And went up to his attic with R-24
Told Ed Stelmach that's really enough
Of wasting the earth to get the black stuff
In sum, he changed from that brown sort of guy
Scratched his head and thought, oh my:
'Maybe preserving the place where we live
Is the true meaning of conservative'
And here the happy conversion ends
Now Steve gets by with a little help from green friends
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