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Reading: The New Sexy
Women can’t resist a ‘good booking’ man, claims Penguin. I’m hot just thinking about it.
Is that a Penguin in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Apparently that’s a pickup line the U.K. division of Penguin Publishing is hoping to inspire with its campaign to convince horny young men that sexy young women long for a guy willing to sink his teeth into literature.
The strategy was inspired by a British poll last spring that claims women prefer men who read. Maybe some women. But it’s clear the kind of woman Penguin thinks non-reading men want to impress. The promotional website features a scantily clad model with a come-hither look and the slogan: “Good looking women want good booking men.”
The marketing wonks have also found some TV psychologist to confirm that reading makes a man more appealing and helps him develop his chat-up lines. And, and they assure us, even if he doesn’t read the book, just carrying it in a prominent place will enhance his appeal.
Pitching the lovelorn
Penguin’s pitch to the lovelorn includes testimonials obviously written by company bookworms who have decided to turn their sweaty-palmed fantasies into cheesy promotional copy. Here’s the tale of Jack and Lucy.
Lucy: I was married when I met Jack at work. My ex-husband was a big, sporty guy earning loads of money, but I was drawn to Jack. He was quiet and unassuming, but I’d heard around the office that he’d worked his way through a whole string of contemporary fiction, which I found intriguing and, soon after, quite sexy.
Jack: I thought Lucy was way out of my league attractive and very confident. But then one day I was reading The Catcher in the Rye over a sandwich when she came up and said, “If you asked me to go to a bookshop with you at lunch time, I’d do it". We went the next day. It was the first time I’d done it with a married woman.
For insights into the nature of copywriter who thinks a grown man fascinated by Catcher in the Rye would strike any woman as hot, let me just refer you to the Jennifer Aniston film, The Good Girl, which explores the disturbing world of a Holden Caulfield fan.
Heavy breathing
But the biggest problem with this campaign isn’t the faintly seedy approach. The marketing geniuses who have applied the truism “Sex Sells” to pumping up male readership might be the adventurers of the book trade but they’re behind the curve in the larger world of word-selling. Their plan doesn’t begin to address the problem that plagues all print media -- there are a finite number of readers out there, and a finite number of advertisers. Eventually the edict to make more and more money with fewer and fewer resources is exhausted and the market goes flaccid.
Magazines figured this out long ago. Jailbird Martha is the queen of cross-promotion selling home decor items to complement her magazine and TV shows. Now Maxim, the American lad mag, is selling hair colour for men and contemplating putting the Maxim brand on night clubs and frozen dinners. And Prevention magazine, light-and-bright reading for the health-obsessed, is planning a line of vitamins.
Clearly, if Penguin wants to boost income, it has to associate itself with the kinds of products that are always in demand, and will make customers come again and again.
Let’s get down to it
The sex angle is good, since it appeals to most people, but the idea needs some, er, massaging.
For example, they could arouse interest in books by licensing a dating service where people are matched according to what the read. This is actually a public service. Think of how much effort and energy one could save by knowing that a man thinks of Nick Hornby characters as role models? Want to avoid narcissists and poseurs? Cross off all the candidates who claim to be Doug Coupland fans.
Book catalogues would become must-reads if they had personals ads at the back. When a woman with 38-24-36 stats notes that she’s looking for Mr. Darcy, it could lead to water cooler speculation and great word-of-mouth. Has Dan Savage come up with another catchy name for an exotic act? Just watch those Pride and Prejudice sales climax as would-be-lovers try to read between the lines.
Every bookstore has a coffee shop these days, but for a romantic twist how about a hotel? Yes, they could license Penguin Love Nests. Maybe different publishers would want to sponsor theme rooms. I’ll leave it to you to envision what the Harlequin designers would come up with, but it’s probably safe to expect animal skins of some kind.
Then Penguin could brand sex-enhancing accoutrements that sport the names of famous characters. For example, when the son doesn’t always rise, there could be a Jake Barnes line of herbal supplements, lotions, and videos. For the women attracted to bad boys, how about a Heathcliff riding crop? For those who always say yes, there could be Molly Bloom lubricant. Anais Nin French ticklers are a natural. Penguin is known for publishing classics, so how about honouring Anna Karenina’s obsession with a Vronksy vibrator -- cunningly shaped like a pistol.
Just think of it as the multiple orgasm of marketing campaigns.
I’m available
The only thing left to do was expose Penguin to my genius. But first I thought I’d test-market the idea at this fall’s Word on the Street festival. That’s when an insightful man in the audience made it clear to what degree I misunderstand the male psyche. The flaw in my scheme? It was too complicated to attract men.
“Why not just add pheromones to the books?” he suggested. Yes, in true masculine fashion Pheromone-Boy, as I’ve come to think of him, preferred to cut to the chase and infuse the books with mate-arousing chemicals that were guaranteed to inflate Penguin sales.
By now I supposed the mystery man has contacted them. He’s probably getting rich. No doubt we can expect to hear of business magazines celebrating him as the guru he obviously is. I can just imagine the congratulatory headlines: Penguin, the company that revived publishing by giving “chicklit” a whole new meaning.
Vancouver writer Shannon Rupp is a frequent contributor to The Tyee.
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M Karassowitsch (not verified)
7 years ago
No doubt - someone who reads would most likely have a sense of insight into - whatever might be there. Which is a good thing for a relationship. Someone who never reads, is almost for sure going to not have the attribute of slowness-in-looking that reading books promotes. On the other hand, Catcher in the Rye IS Litrichur - it is such a desolate thing, I would want to know that the person reading it isn't really into it. On an other hand, it takes discipline to read it, so the fellow reading would demonstrate will. Perhaps it is the show of will that would make a reader appealing. I mean, if one can make it through a tale of misery - such as Catcher in the Rye, then there are goods odds of making it through the misery parts of an own (future) story together. Anyway. Hi, Shannon (in case you actually look at the comments). What's new (in the last ca. 30 years)?
Siobhan ni Halfertighe (not verified)
7 years ago
You're onto something there, M. K.. Since so many serial killers (Ted Bundy, Son of Sam, anyone?) were 'into' Catcher, I'd half-wonder about any boy who pulled that out of his jeans. Did the advertisers mention anything about actual reading being involved in this endeavor? Or the ability to discuss the book with some measure of subtlety and understanding? Or is this just another tedious sale of books based on their covers?
Anonymous
7 years ago
Hoho! Never thought of that. Not only do you have to be a lit critic so you know which neurosis or criminality the boy is reading, but how can a girl seperate the posers from the real litrates? Though it is true that without a prop, it is even harder to figure it out. Last year, on airplanes, I finished off about 10 Grishams (I lost count) - between movies (which were not of my choosing since I didn't fly business classy) what does that mean about me?
pushpit (not verified)
7 years ago
Using sex to sell books in the video age is like using sex to sell bus passes -- ain't gonna work because there's not enough zing in the product. On the other hand, if GW Bush can get re-elected, maybe enough media CAN sell anything.
Kurt (not verified)
7 years ago
Very witty, Shannon. It's a sad state of affairs to see Penguin descend to this level of marketing... the literati dressed up as glitterati.
siobhan (not verified)
7 years ago
Yes, but it isn't about what you read, or how you pass time on the airplanes, is it? Why on earth would a man with no interest in reading want to attract a well-read woman by using books as bait? That would be like me investing in a pair of football shoes to attract a player. The minute I get out onto the field and start showing off my big moves, the fellow's going to have to think there's something wrong with this picture. How stupid can a marketer get, I ask you? Or a fellow who gets suckered in by it?
Huda Helammi (not verified)
7 years ago
Women like Men who are either good looking or rich or preferably both. Men like women who are good looking and willing to put out. Yes it really is that simple...
siobhan (not verified)
7 years ago
The crass ones do go for looks, wealth and a nice itchy case of STDs, a cynic might suppose. There's naught lost then, is there?
English Teacher (not verified)
7 years ago
I'm printing this and showing it to my class. Finally, a sure-fire way to get boys to read.
shirin (not verified)
7 years ago
If this campaign can actually motivate someone to contemplate the written word as something worth their pause in time, then way to Penguin for taking the classical way to man's heart - through his mating prospects. I have to agree though - not that I find men who are Jane Austin or Bronte sisters die hard fans (that would actually make me wary of something amiss) irristable - but any guy who has a decent vocabulary, can spout words of Rumi at a whim, and is in line to buy Jon Stewarts new best seller - will definitely have my undivided interest. There is nothing as alluring as gazing deep into one's eyes and seeing comprehension - a rare treat indeed.
RG (not verified)
7 years ago
I can see it now: "My God, my spouse has left me for a book!"
karassowitsch (not verified)
7 years ago
I agree with shirin: Gazing into someone's eyes and seeing comprehension IS a rare treat. Not to sound arrogant or better though, it is not the trained mind that makes the difference, it is the view into other conditions of being that certain book-reader combinations can give. The gaze of comprehension comes through acceptance and empathy, without which no amount of retained info and reading-muscles can be of use. So it would make a big difference which book the dude or dudette is posing with. If your spouse leaves you for a book, that must make you pretty boring and lifeless, or them. Either way it might not be such a big loss.
siobhan ni halfertighe (not verified)
7 years ago
shirin and karassowitsch, I hope someday we have an opportunity to cross paths. To hear from fellow book-lovers is a fine thing. I don't mean for my posts to sound daft. If a marketing campaign based on sexual allure brings more avid readers to the table, then all the power to it. If it's just about tarting up the ego in a fancier brand of Christmas wrap, then it will fall flat on its sorry face. All the best to you.
Litter Ahtea (not verified)
7 years ago
Speaking as a guy who read a book once, I like the idea that it might get me laid. The fact that it's a penguin only mkes the idea more intriguing.
Kurt (not verified)
7 years ago
The cynic in me thinks there's a world of difference between a person who publicly flashes a copy of, oh, say Plato's The Republic or Helen Fielding's BJ Diaries or whatever, in the hopes of attracting whatever it is that person seeks in the way of sensual gratification, and the person who actually reads (anything). But hey, if it sparks a discussion that aspect should be fairly easy to suss out in time to take wing and flee. It's still a stupid promo vehicle for publishers like Penguin. (And Shannon's Swiftian take is still funnier than the droll "litter ahtea" and his fetish for flightless birds...)
Fi (not verified)
7 years ago
Unless that book is being held at an angle so that the guy is showing off a pair of triceps-to-be-admired (better than my own even), it wouldn't matter a hoot to me... ok, so I'm a bit shallow in that regard- it's just that I like the active AND smart ones, don't need to be rich. If a guy has a dog-- 1000 points extra :)
shirin (not verified)
7 years ago
Kurt - I too was concerned for the penguin that the litter of ahtea has developed a penchant for - they (the penguins) are now officially on the endangered species list - and I don't think the type of speciation that the litter bug is speculating on is the type the world wildlife foundation would endorse. Nonetheless, the bottom line is not the quantity - nor even the quality of the written word read - but it's the assimilated insight achieved from such experience - be it passively or actively acquired. Having said that, after all such intellectual pruning if he still comes out as a brutish right-wing neo-con member of the CRAP camp - or their respective mirrored misery depicted by the Republicans in the U.S. (identified as the red states holding guns in one hand and a cross in another - and a bottle of prozac decorating both) - I fear any tingly feeling of warmth would doused at first verb. Very effective birth control to be sure.
Frank (not verified)
7 years ago
David Frum not only reads but he writes too. Is he "good-booking"? :) I assume what's being read is important? So Dostoyevsky is good but an economics or historical book is make-the-sign-of-the-cross-and-back-away?
shirin (not verified)
7 years ago
Fi - does this angle suit your needs: http://www.anvari.org/fun/Political/Bush_Reading_Upside_Down. html
Fi (not verified)
7 years ago
Haha...I love that pic... but I read a headline a few days ago that Bush is out of shape; or was I imagining that?
L. A. (not verified)
7 years ago
Dear Fi, 1000 points for a dog? What if a guy's only got a penguin? They're not so bad you know. They're very deep. Dirk Gently sez that the subconsious mind is used for storing penguins. Check it out.
Click once to make the penguin drop, then click once to bat. Have fun! http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf
Battersea Blackheart (not verified)
7 years ago
Cheez LA, if I click on that penguin link, will I catch something itchy?
Battersea Blackheart (not verified)
7 years ago
No Fi, that headline was definitely a typo. What the editor meant to write was "Bush has snout of Ape." Not exactly news to the rest of us, but for the editor, it could've been an epiphany.
L.A. (not verified)
7 years ago
I scanned it this afternoon. Nothing itchy there. Just unconsious penguin storage.
devil's advocate (not verified)
7 years ago
No opposite points of view here; I ended up marrying a guy who was reading Spider Robinson while sitting in the mall. I went home with him to see his printings - turns out we were compatable by literature. Best call I ever made. One note - if you see him reading, make him read it out loud to you. He could be bluffing.
Chicksdigbooks (not verified)
7 years ago
I started an organization three years ago that entices men to read by giving away books via a female task force. I approached the Penguin marketing department asking for book donations...didn't get any...but wasn't too surprised when I read about Good Booking launching this summer...www.chicksdigbooks.com
themarina (not verified)
7 years ago
What a joke. I'll be the first to admit that a man reading a good book is always enticing but word of warning, don't just make him read it out loud. I suggest a deep probe into other reading material. More than once I've been drawn to men who are reading a book only to find out (shortly after first contact) that it's the only thing they've read.
devils' advocate (not verified)
7 years ago
Oh, how true. And check the sidetable beside the bed. And under the mattress. You'll find out what he "reads" late at night. You may also want to find out if he really does read the articles.