Life

Another (Yawn) Sexy Nurse. Kill Me.

Hallow'green is freakier than scarily packaged costumes.

By Vanessa Richmond, 14 Oct 2009, TheTyee.ca

Beetman Costume

What a green Halloween can look like.

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Halloween is getting scarier. It's starting to rival Christmas in toxicity without so much as a "boo." It's the costumes, mostly. And somehow, along with going less green, they've also become more boring.

Look, I don't want environmentalism to spoil the party -- I'm hoping it can save it, in fact. Because it's hard to keep up enthusiasm for the big fright night once you've been to supply stores.

While people used to rummage around in their basements, thrift stores and fabric stores for costumes that were sometimes lame and sometimes surprisingly creative (and many people still do), if you go to local haunts like Vancouver's Dressew (cheap fabric) and Value Village (cheap used clothes), you'll see that most people are in fact lining up to buy tacky, pre-packaged, disposable costumes.

You can buy an entire (generic) pirate costume (complete with striped T-shirt, plastic sword, plastic eye patch, black make-up crayon, and plastic bandana) for under ten bucks, for example. Or one of the dozen or so "shatteringly mundane" Slutoween options, now the most popular choice among women (slutty nurse, Playboy bunny, naughty cat), that are made out of plastic or cheap material that get worn once, then are banished to the landfill. I'm sad to say I went to one party last year where three people were wearing the same costume.

Exorcizing your fantasies

I complained about this to a friend who said maybe it's just time Halloween withered away. But Halloween is too important. And it's too ironic to let it be killed by conventionality, when historically and currently, it's about celebrating the antithesis of that.

Halloween is a night when you get to exercise your fantasies, fetishes and alter egos with encouragement instead of sanction. When shy people feel OK about letting their inner demons and divas out of the closet. Or when people who just love a good dress-up get to do so without having to find a boring theme party excuse (Hawaiian barbeque again anyone?). It's also the only holiday that really celebrates what is dark and devious about human nature. Without its counterbalance, would the sometimes sickly-sweet holidays like Valentine's Day even be possible?

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to banish the motivations behind the slutty nurse or the plastic pirate. I'm just saying we can get our freaks on better than that, and inadvertently or intentionally get a lighter eco-hangover the next morning.

Scary vegetables?

I'm crappy when it comes to costumes and dress-up (embarrassed, pathetic, "don't have time"), so I asked a few friends who actually freak me out. One specializes in vegetables. Last year, he cut the roots off beetroots, stuck them to his face, then put fake blood on top. What was he? I don't know. And I hate to encourage it because, frankly, it grossed me out. But it was very cool and scared lots of children.

Another friend dresses up as a character every year -- like Hermione from Harry Potter -- using only what she can find in her basement and used clothing stores. She thinks about it for most of the year. And she decorates her house top to bottom for most of the month of October using the same stash of decorations with just a few yearly updates -- like what people do for Christmas.

A few other friends, who happen to love dressing up their kids, each buy or make a costume every few years, then swap them around in an unofficial costume library.

And a few adult friends always rent costumes –- and though it's got nothing on my friend's pregnant nun outfit, a gorilla outfit that gets used dozens of times is still greener than a plastic hulk mask that gets dumped after one use.

I heard of someone else who pulled cereal boxes out of his apartment's recycling bin, pinned them to his clothes, and stuck a knife into one of them that was oozing with fake blood. Yes, he was a "cereal" killer. That's way wittier than I could be. And is way more likely to kill his and others' inhibitions. Welcome to the whole freaking point of the holiday.

What about you? What are the best homemade Halloween costumes you’ve seen? Post them below!  [Tyee]

17  Comments:

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  • Urbanismo

    2 years ago

    Guy Fawkes Night

    I have trouble sorting out the authenticity of both!

    Thanqxz Giving! What did we giving thanqxz for last Monday? That our bloat came from "god's" bounty!

    Or were we celebrating the slaughter of innocents and our theft of their land yeah many years ago. And . . . mercifully . . . errrr . . . ummmm . . . that we got away with it. With "god's" blessing!

    Halloween! What will be the big deal on Saturday week? What you call Halloween I call Guy Fawkes Night. I have a particular affinity for Guy: we attended the same school in York: albeit at different times!

    We kids thought Guy was the good guy: had he got away with his fire works our world may be a different place. At least he had a higher purpose than teaching the kids to be consumer phony dress-ups.

    Sorry for the heavy, heavy, heavy when all we want is for our little ones to have fun!

    Far be it from me to disrupt . . . I'm curious though!

    Are we so vacuous?

  • Smart Chick

    2 years ago

    Burnham Wood

    The best costume I've ever seen was the fellow at a dorm party who was dressed in green and carrying a twig. Said he was on his way to Dunsinane.

  • southdeltawalker

    2 years ago

    Halloween costumes i have loved

    Over the years there have been a few costumes that I remember. These were get ups of imagination and not much cost.

    There was a fellow dressed up as the 50's classic movie character "The Invisible Man". How did he do this? He wrapped his head and hands in strips of white cloth had and old suit on with a hat and sunglasses. Memorable!

    Then there was the woman wearing a costume composed of half a dress and half a suit-joined and sewn down the middle. Costume obviously from "found" clothes. Quite a message!

    My mom dressed me up as a saloon girl from the "old west" when I was around 9. The costume was made from her old clothes including a taffeta skirt-i can still remember the sound of the taffeta when i moved and I got to wear lipstick too.
    I treasure the photo of that Halloween.

    A few years ago I dressed up as a suffragette, copying my costume from a historical photo. I even had a banner across my chest proclaiming "votes for women". Anyways surprisingly and discouragingly, some folks didn't get it and asked me what a suffragette was.

    Now i've heard the "most "popular" costume this Halloween is to dress up as Michael Jackson.
    The factories are at full speed turning out cheap "Thriller" costumes and other throw away Halloween paraphernalia associated with Jackson.
    Considering his recent death and tragic life-what does that say about us?

  • Jeffrey J.

    2 years ago

    Thoughtful

    What a thoughtful and interesting piece. Ms. Redmond never fails to intrigue, and her topics make you step back and think twice. Mid to late twentieth century Halloween was as she described: participatory democracy comes to mind. We made our own costumes, and enjoyed the sense of accomplishment. I've never purchased a prepackaged costume and it really is symptomatic of peak consumerism.
    http://www.sublimeoblivion.com/2009/04/09/notes-tainter/

    The good news is that we're watching the very peak of consumerism and in all likelihood, several years from now it will be in tatters. Unfortunately, so will many other parts of our society as things unwind, so it won't be all warm and fuzzy.

    Peak consumerism is matched perfectly with predictions by Joseph Tainter's prescient work Collapse of Complex Societies. Read it and weep.

    Great coverage!

  • Chris Keam

    2 years ago

    memorable

    not mine, but I still chuckle when I think of the Halloween party with the woman carrying an umbrella in her pajamas... aka a 'wet dream.'

  • alive

    2 years ago

    the new middle class

    Must be nice to have money to waste.
    Other people worry about how to feed their families!

  • DerekW

    2 years ago

    Recycled Wolf Men Rampage!

    Clever beats expensive, for sure.

    And even if we do buy something from value village, why not re-use it?

    I've got a two-year plan with a wolf-man mask and wolf-man hands:

    Halloween '09: Wolf mask and hands with my friend's borrowed aikido outfit: Splinter from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (I know he's a rat, but close enough)

    Halloween '10: Wolf mask and hands with letterman jacket and 80's jeans: Michael J. Fox as Teen Wolf.

    Can anybody suggest how I could reuse the wolf-man mask the year after?

  • SicPreFix

    2 years ago

    Urbanisimo said:

    "Are we so vacuous?"

    Yes, yes we are.

  • newphorik

    2 years ago

    A lot of the things we have

    A lot of the things we have in our society are things that existed before the age of consumerism. Perhaps instead of wishing the past were different while condemning the present, we could endeavor more to rekindle the old school. Don't throw Halloween out with the briefly used bath water. DerekW: 2011 you could go as yourself turned wolf. mask, gloves, your clothes...eh?

  • Katatak

    2 years ago

    The antitheses of conventionality?

    "And [Halloween]'s too ironic to let it be killed by conventionality, when historically and currently, it's about celebrating the antithesis of that."

    Careful, Vanessa, Halloween has a very ancient history that is anything but non-conventional, from the Celts who first "celebrated" it (i.e. warded off evil spirits) to the Roman Christians who adapted it to conform with Christianity. And I still have a hard time figuring out what, besides egging people's houses, is considered anti-conventional about the celebration in modern times, since everyone pretty much still follows the same rules as everyone else on October 31.

    But you're totally right about how lame-ass all the pre-packaged, mass-consumed costumes are.

    The coolest costume I saw last year was a unicorn. The wearer had made her own white body suit, hoof covers for her feet and hands, and a long white tail,and somehow made her own acrylic horn that was a good 15 inches long. The only thing she didn't make was her white wig.

  • DerekW

    2 years ago

    Thanks Newphorik

    Good suggestion Newphorik. I also thought of one more: One would be to have a red cape hanging from the mask's mouth and be the big bad wolf, OR have a little red riding doll and a grandma doll emerging from a gory hole in the wolf's stomach.

    The other would be to stretch out an old nature T-shirt over my head, so I'm like those cheesy airbrushed wolf-head tshirts.

  • margot

    2 years ago

    battered bride

    The costume I remember was a sheet and two tablecloths, and a lot of liquid rouge on my face and neck. As the battered bride, I had a great time singing Doris Day songs like Que Sera Sera, and A guy is a guy, lifting my veil at appropriate moments. It was such fun, walking around in the early evening, waiting until people went all gooey about the bridal couple, and lifting my veil to them.

  • catspajamas

    2 years ago

    @ DerekW

    Wolf mask, cotton-batting "hoodie" with ears, and pants with a wooly tail - wolf in sheep's clothing?

  • LWeller03

    2 years ago

    Duct Tape

    My friends and I since high school have had a fascination with using duct tape in creative ways for DIY costumes.

    Last year my friend was an astronaut with a painter's suit, coke bottle rockets on her back and duct tape accessories. The year before she went as a martian with duct tape antenna and skirt.

    One year I was Padme Amidala from Star Wars with a duct tape utility belt and boots over top of a white body suit.

    Last year I went as a lion tamer with a ripped safari shirt with fake blood and, of course, multi-strand whip made out of duct tape.

    So much fun with such a simple material!

  • Intention Pure

    2 years ago

    fruit of the loom guy

    Once we rented a boat that sailed around the Vancouver harbor for halloween. My friend's boyfriend had dressed as the fruit of the loom guy, with a one piece long john suit and many grape colored ballons all tied together that slipped over his shoulders. We took a cab to the boat, he forgot the balloon piuece in the trunk of the cab and spent a good while fretting about it. The cab did eventually return and he got his balloon suit back. Another friend wore a lamp shade on his said and said he was the "life/light of the party". I dressed as an Arab with authentic head wraps from Tripoli and was disrespected a few times: faced racial slurs from certain jokesters. All in all a fun time, but revealing regarding how I personlaized these "joke" slurs, and this was in the early 1990s long before the "racialization of terrorism" perpetrated by the US government. I laugh at the Battered Bride costume, and awful realities are often well processed and displayed with humor!
    Ironically, my child refuses costumes from the bottom of his heart. He screamed and went rigid in his car seat when I tried to dress him up when he was two and three. At four, he got into a wizard hat and cape but insisted he was a witch, not a wizard! We will see this year what happens.

  • VivianLea Doubt

    2 years ago

    so green am I

    Nothing could be more environmentally friendly than my costume: "slut". I need simply choose an assortment of items from my own closet, as something is sure to provoke the idea of "sluttiness" in somebody's mind...

    For shame, for shame, Vanessa.

  • Chris Keam

    2 years ago

    Wolf ideas

    Tacky tourist shirt, camera around neck, map in hand.

    Where-Wolf?

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