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The Private Lives of Men
Confession-hungry or cave man?
Ian Brown, the Globe & Mail feature writer and CBC radio host, came to Vancouver this week to promote his new anthology, What I Meant to Say: the Private Lives of Men. Brown put the call out asking potential contributors to write candidly about an aspect of their lives rarely expressed and to write for the female gaze.
The idea was to create a male version of Dropped Threads (the popular anthology edited by Carol Shields, written by women, about women, for women), with an aim to attract women readers.
"You say write for women and it's the equivalent of men putting on a tie, they spruce up their style, and as a result, both women and men seem to like the book," says Brown. The book covers a variety of topics from the sacred to the profane, organized by Body, Mind and Soul, all reflecting complexities in men that our current accepted male-bashing culture, intent on portraying men as inept and inadequate, would convince us aren't really there.
The essays are also fairly difficult to explain in sound bites on the radio. So when Brown appeared on Vancouver talk shows last week, he played a little bit into the stereotype of men as perpetual trollers, but somehow made them seem lovable slaves to their biological impulses. One essay, for instance, explains that a man's sense of adventure and longing waits for that moment when the store clerk's fingers rest ever so momentarily in his hand as he receives his change. Or, a man's tendency to believe that the bulbous "B," written by a waitress named Betty on the restaurant check, means her breasts are available to him. (Not all men agree, even in the book.)
The following are excerpts from a panel discussion on What I Meant to Say and on men's private lives held at the Vancouver Public Library last Wednesday night, featuring writers James MacKinnon, Paul Myers and Michael V. Smith, who at turns challenged and identified with the sentiments in the book.
On whether men are necessary
Ian Brown: "In the last 40 or 50 years, things have changed quite a bit for guys. Men are no longer the bread winners or the bosses; this has been upsetting to some of us. We no longer dominate the conversation of the world.
"Nowadays, 70% of people entering business and medical school in first year are women. Imagine what it'll be like in ten years. Seventy percent of the doctors are going to be women, 70% of the CEOs are going to be women because there's just not enough guys going into those professions anymore. Those are radical changes.
"It used to be that men committed 80% of the infidelities, well, now the recent surveys suggest that men are still slightly ahead, 51% but women are committing 49% of the infidelities. It appears to have something to do with working, the more you work, the more you travel, and the more you travel, the more you misbehave.
"Women now initiate sex, and they don't want the ordinary, they want the fancy stuff. Now, young men are so concerned about performing for women that they take Viagra. These are big changes for men who used to run the world. At the same time, all these age-old problems and dilemmas that have never changed are still there; the physical danger of being a man, of going to war, of going to work - seldom acknowledged but a real problem; the trenchant loneliness of being a man. The sense of physical pointlessness if you're not having a baby and there's no war on, what the hell do you do, exactly; the unbelievable guilt that all the men in this book seem to notice and feel; the sometimes unstoppably physical nature of male desire, which is, believe me, a problem.
On heroes
Ian Brown: "In general, men don't talk about private life because genetically, anthropologically, in our culture, for purposes of survival, the role of male is to stand with his back to the fire with the women and children behind him and to stare out into the night and to see if there is any flickering danger. Well, if you have to pay attention to what is going to bite your head off or bite your offspring's head off, you're not thinking a whole lot. You're not chatting with your neighbour. It's too dangerous to do that, it's too distracting. So, we have no vocabulary, we have not worked up a couple of sentences that would let us understand what the hell is going on with one another."
Michael V. Smith: "One of the essays talks about the cultural idea of heroes and how we give the idea of hero to our sons and then we grow up to be these failed men because we aren't heroes. The story is all about the experience of being a volunteer fireman who keeps trying to save people's lives and doesn't save any of them."
James MacKinnon: "I wouldn't be upset at all if the whole notion of hero was taken out of the male realm altogether."
On strong and silent
James MacKinnon: "If I wasn't going to be nervous then I wouldn't want to be in it. Someone talks about inner turmoil being definitive to male experience; I think it actually defines human experience. I would want to really try to drag myself into a frightening place, I don't know where that would be but that's where I would want to go."
Michael V. Smith: "I would write about alcoholism, public anonymous sex, public nudity and drag. I often say I'm a confessional artist because I think it's really important to talk about the things that make us uncomfortable."
Paul Myers: "I've discovered that there is this stereotype of "guy" which is inevitably "dumb guy" and if we resist it, we can actually get somewhere. That and I'd like to explore why so-called liberated men still feel squeamish about homosexuality."
Ian Brown: "A journalist in Toronto accused me of being too public in my essay [about why I have gone to see strippers]. He said, people think a book is a private thing. And I'm really convinced that a book is a private thing and this is why men might actually read about this stuff in this book because it feels private."
Michael V. Smith: "I think we live in a culture where we need to create more permission for ourselves."
James MacKinnon: "We do need to build a certain culture of permissiveness so we can figure out where we are on this gender spectrum rather than the two different positions. It's only through permissiveness that we can decide what our private realm is. I think it's important to decide for yourself what your privacy limits are.
Ian Brown: "While editing this book, I began to realize how frightened men are of masculinity, sometimes with good cause. I mean, it's a dangerous thing. Men are strong and powerful exoskeleton types. So we have this general fear. That is part of the reason we gravitate to privacy sometimes."
On the lit of private life
Ian Brown: "There really has not been a huge tradition of the literature of private life, written by men. Men tend to go for the bang bang, shoot 'em up, a shot rang out, somebody dies kind of thing. Whereas women, restricted in their lives as they were, were forced to write about their private lives. That's the tradition that is available to all of us. There is a slight tradition in essays of men writing about private lives; Kaiko, the ancient Japanese writer; Montaigne, Chesterton wrote about his hat blowing away -- that was a big one. Hemingway wrote about bull-fighting and his own personal relationship to it. E.B. White wrote beautiful essays about male private life. But that's pretty much it."
Carla Lucchetta is a freelance writer / associate producer Citytv's BreakfastTelevision. Her website, Her Kind is here. ![[Tyee]](http://thetyee.cachefly.net/ui/img/ico_fishie.png){kind=small}
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- The Ethics of Addiction Studies
- The Gem of Canadian Science that Harper Killed
- Sexism Tinges Criticism of Teachers' Job Action
- Now Is the Time to Talk up Big Ideas
- The Ethics of Addiction Studies
- Bill C-38: the Environmental Destruction Act
- Alberta Fills Pipes with Corrosive Denial
- Bias in BC's Pesticide Decision? Follow the Bouncing Verbs
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- What's Behind BC's Doors?
- Why Blackberry's Embrace of HTML5 Is Good Karma
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- Death in Remand: A Jail Crammed with Risk
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- What's Behind BC's Doors?
- The Gem of Canadian Science that Harper Killed
- Sexism Tinges Criticism of Teachers' Job Action
- Should You Run from that Medical Test?
- 'The Dictator'
- Death in Remand: Stacked Deck
28
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The brain
6 years ago
Comments on "The Private Lives of Men"
All we need to do is role play without clouded perspectives and we can see it for what it is. I didn't say playing the role. I said role play, by putting ourselves in the shoes of others, following their own footsteps of evolution and growth. We can learn off of bad examples as well as the good through the simplistic observation of others. And yet, the observation of others is no less challenging than the observation of ones own self.
Perhaps one of the toughest things to do in life is the introspection of ones self. Self examination is perhaps even more difficult than the examination of others because it demands Honesty, personal search (that can be exhaustive at the least of times) hard work, and yes, the same traits are needed to see others who they really are, but the self examination of ones self demands perhaps the most important trait of all. Courage... the courage to face what we are afraid to find about our true selves... the truth itself.
Is it hard to be able to "step outside of the box" to see ourselves from perspective that isn't influenced by our own preconcieved judgements and bias? Its next to impossible. I didn't say impossible... I said its right next to it, for not everyone has these developed humble traits to see themselves in their own true state, never mind the true state of others.
It is so often the opposite of the way we think it is. It's like looking into the mirror to see the real you and what you see upon closer examination is that right is left and left is right. It is the same, when we apply these needed virtues to see others the way they truly are and what we learn is in itself, the deeply needed lessons of humility.
We learn, in the final analysis, that we are all uniquely special in some way but at the same time, whether we are male or female, rich or poor, young or old, of different languages or backgrounds, that we are all the same. We share the same environments, share a common struggle for humanity to make its way in the universe... As diverse as we are, we share the most of the same human experiences.
Men and women who are mature, know what its like to be their opposite when they share their triumphs and failures, their goals, their will, their pain, their grief, their love, in short, their lives... We know what its like to be free and whole when we keep our promises and get rid of the smoke and mirrors. We know what its like when the two become one in all respects... we know what its like when we see for the first time that it comes with a price, but a price worth paying, for the best things in life are not free. The best things in life are shared!
I speak of the meaning to the word "Paragon", two opposites, male and female coming together to form a perfect system. I speak of marrage, when the two become one through the union of spirit and soul through the flesh. I speak of connecting to the common denominators of all things... right down to the nature of atoms and molecules trying hard to pair their electrons to keep balance. I speak of Shakespearian tragedy to only know our "half truths". For anyone who wants to know the "full truth", take this advice:
Look for the opposite that is the same... if you find it and it fails, then change, if you truly were the same, for time is not a thing to waste.
mightyfastpig
6 years ago
Can we please get away from the old "dragging woman around by her hair" stereotype of early human society? This image has more to do with modern wishful thinking than any real anthropology. Mr. Brown would do well to research the latest on anthropology and particularly how our views of early humanity are influenced by our own agendas.
I'd also point out that you could argue just the opposite about gender and confessional literature: starting with St. Augstine and continuing with Rousseau and his numerous imitators, the assumption was that the lives of men were important and full of literary value. The lives of women were seen as trite and inconsequential. The idea that men are emotionally impoverished and women are more "real" in their introspection and relationships is also a recent idea.
nightbloom
6 years ago
Great article about an interesting & innovative project.
I was initially concerned that the catch seemed to be that it was written for women (not other men), but they seem to be picking up on the meaningful themes of modern masculinity:
Male expendability (in the family, the workplace, the battlefield, and in the emotional marketplace)
The problem/challenge/dilemma of fatherhood & sonhood.
The artificial concept of Hero (another legacy of the brand of Western liberalism that emerged from the Revolutionary and Napoleonic period) - a heroic concept which devalues the real heros & role models in our lives and creates a creeping sense of failure & disappointment over the course of a lifetime.
The addictive offshoots of our sexual and aggressive impulses - self-defeating sexual behaviour (substitute for intimacy), alcoholism, drug adventurism, etc.
The tension between social obligation/expectation and the difficulty of forging whole selves ["I think we live in a culture where we need to create more permission for ourselves."]
The challenge/problem/dilemma of fatherhood & sonhood, and the stunting lacunae between the generations.
Initiation is also a crucial masculine theme, not directly addressed here, but which inevitably emerges if only in coded fashion.
Great article, Carla.
The brain
6 years ago
To Nightbloom:
Excellent commentary. You've articulated what this article and Ian's project is really about: the evolution of masculine themes throughout the ages.
You are obviously schooled post secondary and intellectually gifted, at that. It seems that you, more than most, have no need to be reminded that while male themes are changing, some themes (roles) will always be fixed and that to accurately see theme's (whether they be male or female) in terms of what is fixed or inevidably subject into change, one cannot see it entirely from a male/female perspective, but from an overall a human perspective.
And too, not just from an individual perspective, but a collective one. When we can successfully do this without individiual bias, we can accurately contrast the themes that are timeless from the themes that are still evolving and predict where our world is headed, or should head if we truly have good will for one another, at heart.
I answered the "how to", but you, perhaps more importantly, answered the "why". It would be interesting to co-write with someone such as yourself.
clubofrome
6 years ago
MFP For a moment lets pretend that this was the case...... The man in front of the fire with women and children behind, it could explain why there was increased competion for mating. Sabre tooth tigers 7, man 3. From their semi safe position women would invent the tools required for man to get a leg up on the beasts when they ventured out beyond the safety of the cave. Possibly this evolution took place out of frustration. "Here honey, take this long pointed stick with you if you're going outside, I'm tired of looking for new mates down at the watering hole...." After a while the women would just go out and do it themselves, tired of waiting for Groc to wake up and go to work. Time passes and women invent gunpowder, and soon men are shooting at everything that moves including other males especially when the last Sabre tooth is a just a drawing on the wall.... A few power hungry males plan world domination and we end up with an industrial revolution. Looks like evolution may come to the rescue again, if those statistics are true. Women see the need to step in and save the species before the males render us extinct. What goes around comes around! Of course it's just a theory....
Coyote
6 years ago
I don't know if I'm wierd or what, but I don't spend a great deal of time worrying about being a man or what women do or do not think about me. ( Maybe the explanation is, I grew up in a single father household, and had a little trouble growing up figuring out what was the point of all the hassle men put up with women about anyway. I mean, the old man held down a job, was able to cook and provide for us just fine. Anytime he did connect with a woman, it only brought conflict into things anyway. Though I did eventually get some perspective on it. :-) I, personally, can survive quite well with or without a woman in my life. I haven't had to, wouldn't prefer it, but I could certainly do it quite well, and know I could. (Though I do concede, some men do appear to have some problems.:-) But then, there are some ladies too-, which maybe you are not seeing...
That said, the world has changed and with it, the relationship between men and women. It definitely is becoming an even more internally and externally distant and, for some, estranged relationship, no doubt. I see that around me and in the relationships of most of my daughters with "the men" in their lives, for sure.
And while, from time to time, I do chew it over and "intellectualize" about it, I don't really fuss about it. I'm an older male in a long, long term ralationship and I don't have to, for sure. The issue has largely been decided for me.
And as weird as I think the relationship between the sexes has evolved, in its current stage anyway, maybe it's my class mileau, I don't know, but I don't see this phenomena of, at least, blue collar working class males suffering a whole lot of angst and identity crisis issues about it. So there's more women in higher education and in the board rooms. Big phucking deal. A great many men anyway, seem to have simply decided it's not as desirable a place to be as they might have once thought, and women currently do. Give the ladies some time. :-)
The younger and even older males I'm meeting, might even be said to be feeling considerably liberated by this whole phenomena of female liberation too. 'Cause it hasn't only had positives for women, in very many ways. If anything, maybe some of these males are feeling just a tad too liberated themselves, that I see.
Anyway, sometimes the emergence of new social phenomenon and relationships take themselves awhile to sort themselves and reality out. If not this generation or even the next one, the one after that.
Men will survive quite well, and are, I think. Even if some of them are currently suffering some anxiety about it. Assuming they and women still do get together for sex once in awhile, and babies continue to get born, if not here, then in offshore immigrant countries at least. Which I think will still continue to happen in the new, more separate "liberated" relationship, even assuming it continues this way-, which I have some doubts about.
There is no real doubt, I don't think, that we males know how to look after ourselves, if push comes to a little bit of shoving with the ladies. So y'all should stop worrying so much about us/them. I think maybe men have a better grip on things, current social/sexual reality, in a lot of ways, than women are inclined to give them credit for. (And how is our lives made harder by women making more money? My old lady having more cash of her own only allows me to buy more toys.)
Women have their own problems. Men will do, are doing fine overall, I think. Save maybe for a few overly bookish intellectuals obsessing on the lint in their own navals.
The brain
6 years ago
QUOTE: "The book covers a variety of topics from the sacred to the profane, organized by Body, Mind and Soul, all reflecting complexities in men that our current accepted male-bashing culture, intent on portraying men as inept and inadequate, would convince us aren't really there."
I'm certain that a good number of commentators would get some mileage from reading this book. As for the last commentary, this one's from a male who grew up back in the day, and intelligently observed...
“If you talk to the animals,
they will talk to you
and you will know each other…
If you do not talk to them
you will not know them,
and what you do not know,
you will fear. What one fears,
One destroysâ€
Chief Dan George
This comment has its own undertones to give in relation to why women bash males (other than being historically bitter, but we aren't living in the past) or, to a lesser degree, vice versa. I truly hope that the commentaries on this well written article can move past "male bashing" to see the truth for what it is.
Balanced women know that in terms of equality and human rights between male and female, its 50/50. For women to go beyond this balance with arguements or justification that men have historically practiced inequality, is to jump into the same superiority cesspool. In other words, "its just plain stupid!"
As women often claim to be the smarter of the two, it would be wise to "think before we act" on this one.
BC Mary
6 years ago
For the Festivus Feat of Strength could I please try a running kick at brain? Please?
rotlin
6 years ago
But first you must begin by airing grievances.
The brain
6 years ago
To B.C. Mary: You can get your kicks at "The war on Christmas". They belong there more than they do here, unless you can get your self defined festivus to relate to this commentary specifically.
Avicenna
6 years ago
Hmm... I never thought I would be saying that I agree with a mightyfastpig - should know by now, never assume such things. I think the problem with this entire exercise was the initial concept of trying to actually intellectualize male thought and behaviour. It was doomed to fail.
Coyote
6 years ago
:-D LOL.
Some ladies are clearly having difficulty, no doubt.
When things change, especially social phenomenon, at the initiation of whomever or whatever, the final outcomes near always tend to be unpredictable, at least in many aspects. Neither men nor women are always in control of these outcomes, as they sometimes fool themselves into thinking. (Especially women of recent times.) My experience anyway.
Which seems to be where matters largely are between the sexes now.
dononmain
6 years ago
Re: Avacenna's comments. "I think the problem with this entire exercise was the initial concept of trying to actually intellectualize male thought and behaviour. It was doomed to fail". Man bashing. Wow, I didn't see that coming. I have news for you. That comment doesn't make you look clever, it makes you look small.
allan
6 years ago
Interesting this exercize in talking to a female audience on malism yet only two female responses as best I can read.
One, sadly can't get beyond bashing all men just for the pleasure of it and the other with good justification wishing she could put the boots to one specific male.
I wonder if there will ever be space to spread the theory there is virually no differences between male and female.
Each is half a whole, one with an inny and one with an outie. At least that's how nature plays the game.
nightbloom
6 years ago
Let's get this thread back on track.
Are there any over-arching masculine themes not mentioned here that would make worthy additions to the project?
Coyote
6 years ago
In a nut shell. Which works for me. :-)
Coyote
6 years ago
Which may not be "intellectualized" enough for Avicenna. :-D Now that I think about it..
"...overarching masculine themes..." ?!?!?!?!?!?
What the...???!!!
Tilt. Tilt. Over-intellectualized! Will not compute! Will not compute! :-)
Merry Xmas. Merry Christmas, A Happy Holiday. An Eat, Drink and Be Merry Winter Solstice.
BC Mary
6 years ago
Hey, I am Mary.
Happy New Year to all, especially to The Tyee staff who make this web-site possible.
nightbloom
6 years ago
LOL - Coyote, I'm afraid you've inadvertently provided us with additional themes relevant to men (although not necessarily 'overarching'):
Anti-Intellectualism & delayed adulthood
Yup, Merry Chrismas right back atcha :-)
The brain
6 years ago
There's always the overarching masculine/feminine theme I half missed. The male/female "inferiority" complex. And far be it for me to go so far as to say we are all capable of walking around with drool out of the sides of our mouths and shitting our pants without the need to be real young or real old, or reeling from car wreck knock on head syndromes, but stupidness seems to know no gender. Happy holidays, everyone.
Like the happy face, Coyote :-D. I'm betting that your independent dad had a good mom (and dad). We still get it from our parents, grand or otherwise, don't we? Cheers.
Avicenna
6 years ago
LOL! dononmain has essentially conjured an image of me that another study - also delving into the male psyche - stated would make someone such as myslef precisely the type of mate the male (with that club in hand) felft most comfortable with [i.e. "... doesn't make you look clever, it makes you look small."]. Smallness is a greater threat to male virtue than females I gather. Though I have no serious intention to bash the masculine half - afterall, my father played a vital role in donating half of my genetic material (the catty half, I may add).
However, in regards to Coyote's independent nature and the changing nature of society where the lines between male and female gender roles and niches are fast becoming irrelevent - I would bet that the rates if divorce will continue to increase until the very institution of marriage becomes an extinct concept - for heterosexuals, at least. Although many are resistant to concede to the idea, the reality is that marriage was an economical and pragmatic contract between two individuals that needed each other to fulfill two very different niches in society - and this interdependency was what kept the two together. Now men and women can live quite successfully without the other.
The brain
6 years ago
Can they? Egads! WE didn't have to wait long...
Coyote
6 years ago
Again dahling, you presume too much... A problem for some women and men, especially overly intellectual or embittered ones, in my experience.
Which, from a woman with issues, is no better a "guess" than mine. Which is that there will always be hetero-sexual men and women who choose to marry, create and raise families together, for its usefulness in many regards, in creating boundaries for family stability, where it works, and simply because it suits the temperments and wishes of many men and women still. Something that has been around as a social tool and institution for such a long time, through many periods of ups and downs across history, doesn't just up and disappear because a few queers decide to marry, or less than half of all marriages have a bad outcome. Culling is a phenomena that goes on objectively and rather relentlessly, of its own, within many aspects of life and nature. Which may sound "mean", but is true nonetheless.
(The current period, I suggest, is much a "Madness of crowds" phenomena, that is the result of a social period in decline and decay, and the collapse of social mores and morality that tends to walk hand in hand with such periods throughout history. Which doesn't mean that as it slides into its collapse, new ideas and practices around the evolving nature of reality and relationships aren't created, at least in part, and carried over into "the new", also struggling to emerge.)
Indeed, what I see around me, in my mileau again, somewhat limited for sure, are very many hetero-sexual men and women looking desparately for someone of their sexual opposite to marry, even in these "what passes for liberated" times. And I would say that if you aren't encountering that, you are hanging out with a quite different crowd than myself, for sure. Which is okay, unless one mistakes that for the sum total of reality, or even mainstream reality and experience-, I think.
In any case, thee and me shall have to see, won't we. :-) Until then, we are both simply engaged in a little self-serving conjecture.
nightbloom
6 years ago
Coyote's on the money. He's provided an 'overarching' viewpoint in spite of himself. We're on another pendulum ride whose motions are too sweeping for most people to be aware of its repetitive nature. Pendulums inevitably gravitate towards their natural centre in the end, before commencing a new (old) movement again.
History bears him out. The apparent decline of marriage, the loosening of social & sexual constraints, the 'radical' separation of private from public (community) life, even the financial & judicial independence of women (still a minority of women worldwide) has all happened before. The 12th century or Rome (during the late republic). Even 'the pill' has antecedents, although none as sophisticated, efficient or widely available. Ditto for the relative social acceptance of homosexuality. Everything returns to us in its changed form.
It's the conceit of our generation to imagine we invented sex, and sexual & social liberation. Personally, I blame the egotistical Boomers for this misperception.
Coyote
6 years ago
Indeed, nightbloom. Good piece of analysis. Thanks for it.
I would not be quite so hard on "the boomers", but no doubt,boomers, which I actually precede, certainly had a part in it, as the carriers of what was happening at the time in larger society. It was a post war and post depression era period of previously unimagined or experienced material wealth for the great mass of people-, which tends to bring all other manner of excesses along with it, at many levels.
Indeed, it is the decline of that period within capitalism which is only now bursting The Boomer's social and moral assumptions bubble, I think.
The forces of natural selection within nature, society and social groups continues to work relentlessy upon us all, and larger nature as well, determing much who and what will be culled out, and who and what will go on into the new period.
Now, Mrs Coyote is insisting that I assist her with the feast preparations, for all the brood soon to arrive. And more like a whipped cur than much of an "independant" one, I go to do her bidding 8-D
But again, clean and sound observations, in my view, nightbloom.
nightbloom
6 years ago
And on the subject of confessional literature, last week I finished Peter Abelard's short autobio 'The Story of My Misfortunes' (Historiam Calamitam).
He's the male half of the West's most famous doomed couple (the other half being Héloise). He was the superstar of his time, a handsome and brilliant philosopher & dialectician who is credited with the founding of the University of Paris.
When Hèloise's jealous husband hired a group of thugs to waylay & castrate Abelard (the uncle had been raising his young neice for himself), both of them retreated to separate cloistered religious orders & carried on a lifetime correspondence that has been preserved and is celebrated as a literary icon of love between the sexes.
nightbloom
6 years ago
...mistype: Héloise's jealous *uncle*, not 'husband'...
The brain
6 years ago
To be audience to the insights of you both is a delightful treat. Both of your perspectives, Coyote, and Nightbloom, are so accurate. It almost lures me into a false comfort created by knowing that there are individuals such as yourselves out there who are well versed in life, well read and masters of expression; to bear witness to your expression in what you both know in such a diverse array of issues... It's false comfort, of course, because there are so many others who are not as matured in their craft.
Coyote, your interpretations of life experiences are not going unnoticed with me. Observation is such a powerful tool and experience counts. We often overlook observations own simplicity, and struggles for the beginnings of structure, the letters of the alphabet, the sentence structure, type and verbal communications that we've inherited, the simple counting of the seconds and stars that gave birth to our language of numbers and time...
We so often overlook the simplicity of the origins to all communicative exchanges and their timelines of evolution, because they were too rough or raw in the beginning to be fully appreciated. We end up, some of us, in a place of arrogance in reflection to ours or others own early beginnings and struggles towards mastering our crafts, that we don't see the value in teaching it...
For those who arrive at such a place without the needed appreciation of our ancestrial sacrifices made to heighten the potency (or impotency) of our time... is to see a future that has no value placed on our contributions to the generations to come, except for the self getting mechanism of contributing to our own selves (in other words, a dead end). Mastering a craft can only happen with contributions in mind and so, with this, Coyote, Nightbloom, you've both nailed it.
Arrogance has a cull all of its own. Compassion is the seed to appreciated rememberance of those who took the time to leave records, pieces of recorded history and its lessons learned for us to follow, and the generations to come. Within those who light these torches of wisdom or take ones already lit and pass them on, there is a deep seeded rememberance...
This eagle that flies from the East won't forget you and I can't help knowing that I am sometimes in company far better than myself, who will do the same. Best wishes.