The New Seensters

It started out innocently enough. One day, while skimming over the want ads in the Georgia Straight, I stumbled across the 'I saw you' section. Suddenly, the listings got a lot more intriguing. I had no idea that people were trying to track down attractive strangers through the newspaper. I was fascinated by the volume of charming and bizarre messages aimed at reconnecting with would-be objects of affection.

Some ads were delightfully poetic, such as: "You yawned while walking past me at Blenz on 4th Avenue. I thought you were intoxicatingly wondrous. I have a bike for you, let's ride away together! E-mail me at…"

And some made me laugh: "Were you drunk last Sunday afternoon? You were tall and blonde and you had lots of sexy tattoos. You were wearing a green skirt and a tank top and you were yelling at a bum in the alley. I would love to be yelled at by you sometime! Any chance? E-mail me at…"

'Tawdry Voyeurism'

I began reading the ads for the entertainment value. I enjoyed the tawdry voyeurism and I liked to play out the scenes in my head. It was no big deal. It was just a recreational thing to do whenever I found the paper lying around.

It quickly turned into a weekly habit. By the time Thursday afternoon rolled around, I couldn't wait to see the new listings. At first, I told myself I was looking at them for a friend. It wasn't about me. But then I started to get a rush after I read the ads. It felt like each vignette had deep significance. It was somehow cathartic to learn I was not the only one who struggled with the art of the romantic overture. And I was amazed at how many people gave out their e-mail address. While many of us have evidently forgotten how to flirt in person, we're clearly comfortable with hooking up online. I poured over each ad with utter fascination of this newfound dating culture.

Things began to escalate when others started to question my lunchtime reading ritual. "Why do you read those ads?" my co-workers would ask me. "No one ever meets up that way."

Despite their skepticism, I refused to quit my "I saw you" addiction. I enjoyed it too much. Besides, I wasn't hurting anyone. Deep down though, I knew I was lying to myself. What I really wanted was to be seen.

It had to be you

Then it happened. I was doing my usual scan when I came across an ad describing a scenario that sounded eerily familiar: "I saw you last Wednesday evening on the 99 b-line. I had a lot on my mind until I saw you. Your eyes took away my worries. You were wearing a black jacket, black pants and a beige toque. I was struck by your beauty. I was in a dark blue coat and striped shirt. I was carrying a Christmas present. I couldn't take my eyes off of you. When you got off the bus, you gave me a cute smile. I would love to see that smile again. E-mail me at…"

I read the ad again. I checked the date on the paper. I thought about where I was the previous Wednesday evening. Yep, I had been on the bus. And I had been wearing a beige toque and a black jacket! Come to think of it, there was a guy holding a gift that checked me out a couple of times. Hey, this ad was for me. And he was "struck by my beauty"!? Wow. I was touched. I couldn't help but giggle to myself. I ripped out the listing and very smugly showed it to my co-workers. To think they had the nerve to criticize!

Unfortunately, when I tried to e-mail the guy, the message bounced back to me.

But I read on

Despite this setback, I am still reading the ads. And I am not alone. Judging by the people I talked to, there a lot of "seensters" in Vancouver. There are those who wonder if they've been spotted and there are those who are trying to find someone they've seen.

"I never thought I 'd be doing this, but desperate times for call for desperate measures," explains Sarah Marchildon, 31, who's been reading "I saw you ads" regularly for five years and who started blogging about her impressions of the Vancouver dating scene on Hollywood North Report. "I am originally from the east and I find it really difficult to meet guys here. People here barely make eye contact, let alone ask you out! I am not saying I want to get cat called at construction sites, but I would like someone to say hello to me. In the meantime, I'll keep reading the paper to get a date."

Others like Dominic Ali believe these ads could really "set the stage for a wonderful romance." But while Ali thinks the ads are a good way of hooking up, he wouldn't place one himself. "It's not my thing, but it would be awfully flattering to get spotted this way."

And others find them pointless. Tanis J., a 20 year-old student from New Westminster recently placed an ad, but so far her inbox is devoid of a message from the handsome stranger. "I haven't heard back from him yet, but I believe if it's meant to happen, it will."

Real life bad, computers good

I wonder why we are all hesitant to approach people, anyway? Why didn't I start a conversation with the guy on the bus? Why didn't he chat me up? Has our reliance on e-mail made it more comfortable for us to initially connect through the web? Maybe we are forgetting how to banter with strangers. Has e-mail stifled all spontaneity? Perhaps it is because we can't backspace or delete a sentence once it's out of our mouth.

The ads make things safe. "Mediated communication is becoming more commonplace," explains Dan Perlman, a Professor of Family Studies at the University of British Columbia and an expert in classifieds advertising. "Most of us are accustomed to writing things down through e-mail rather than saying it aloud. These ads give us more control of the situation."

Clare Day of Victoria knows all about finding love through this modern form of dating. The community web site Craigslist has a missed connection section that is very similar to the "I saw you" concept. She met her ex-boyfriend that way. The two ended up falling in love and moving in together. The 29 year-old public servant and yoga instructor was at a jazz concert when she locked eyes with an alluring man from across the room. "I never thought I would see him again, but he was clearly determined to find me. He placed an ad the very next week. I was really flattered!"

It's nice to know that people do manage to meet up and build relationships as a result of "I saw you" ads. At the same time, I wonder why there aren't more coy interactions at the grocery store and neighbourhood coffee shop these days. Whatever happened to playful small talk? But hey, if the guy that saw me on the 99 b-line is reading this, e-mail me.

Oops, I think I just wrote the longest "I saw you" ad yet!

Lorena Dexter is a freelance writer from Vancouver.