Give and Get

Azim Jamal and Harvey McKinnon want you to give it all away -- time, love, and kindness, that is.

By Azim Jamal and Harvey McKinnon, 4 Jul 2005, TheTyee.ca

power or giving

[Editor's note: Azim Jamal is an accountant by trade, and Harvey McKinnon is a fundraiser. They each decided that giving back is more beneficial than "fear."

Now, in The Power of Giving: Creating abundance at home, at work, and in your community, they argue the benefits of "giving." Their philosophy is that the more you give - in time, love, kindness, and sometimes money - the more you have. And that "giving" is the most productive way to increase the well being of the giver and the world. In this neo-liberal economic climate, their ideas challenge and also complement mainstream thought.

All profits from this book will be donated to charities and to promote giving.

The Tyee will be running a five-part, weekly series of excerpts in our section "Citizen Toolkit."]

The Trappist monk Thomas Merton once wrote, "Souls are like athletes who need opponents worthy of them if they are to be tried and extended and pushed to the full use of their powers." That's an insightful analogy, for just as your muscles weaken without physical exercise, so does your soul weaken without its special kinds of exercise. A great exercise for your soul is the practice of giving. As with physical exercise, the more you do it, the easier it is, and the stronger you will become.

Giving can also reduce your fears. That's because giving promotes social connections, which provide you with greater security.

Do you live in fear of economic disaster? Do you worry about caring for your parents or getting your children through college? Do you worry about losing your good health? Do you fear that crime, war, or terrorist attacks will disrupt the economy and your security? These are legitimate concerns that many people share. We live in difficult and uncertain times, but are these fears real?

Research shows that people who watch a lot of news on television overestimate the threats to their well-being. Why? Because television focuses on news that makes the world seem like a more dangerous place than it actually is. Afraid of the world that is portrayed on TV, people "cocoon," staying in their homes with close family, and do not build bonds with their neighbors. Thus they become more vulnerable.

The best way to confront your fears is to begin the process of making a difference. The root causes of "dangers" are often the result of social problems that have been ignored. But you can make a commitment to do what you can to eliminate the conditions that cause the potential crises. By facing your fears and working to change their root causes, you overcome them.

Giving is a key part of this process because giving reduces self-centeredness. It can make you more connected to others, and this connection will reduce fear and isolation. Author Robert Putnam's massive research project, which culminated in the book Bowling Alone, clearly demonstrates the benefits to staying connected with others - for security, health, happiness, and even income.

Have you ever heard of a job opportunity through a personal connection? Have you ever had neighbors help you out during a difficult situation? Has a friend ever cared for your child when you were exhausted?

These are just a few of the benefits that occur when you are connected with other people. The list is endless.

Good health

Academic research demonstrates that giving to others benefits people physically and emotionally. An article in the May 1988 issue of American Health magazine described a study in Michigan that showed regular volunteer work increases life expectancy. The study found that men who did no volunteer work were two and a half times more likely to die during the study than men who volunteered at least once a week. The article described other benefits that the researchers measured. Giving, in the form of volunteer work -

  • enhances your immune system,
  • lowers cholesterol levels,
  • strengthens your heart,
  • decreases the incidence of chest pains,
  • generally reduces stress.

The world can be a different and better place if, while you are here, you give of yourself. This concept became clear to Azim one day when he was watching television at an airport terminal while waiting for a flight. A priest was sharing a story about newborn twins, one of whom was ill. The twins were in separate incubators, as per hospital rules. A nurse on the floor repeatedly suggested that the twins be kept together in one incubator. The doctors finally agreed to try this. When the twins were brought into contact with each other, the healthy twin immediately put his arms around his sick brother. This instinctive exchange gradually helped the sick twin to recover and regain his health. The babies' family and the doctors witnessed the intangible force of love and the incredible power of giving.

Living to your potential

Rumi, a 13th-century Persian mystic, told of a man who walked past a beggar and asked, "Why, God, do you not do something for these people?" God replied, "I did do something. I made you."

When Rumi wrote these words, he was addressing our ability to choose what we do, our ability to reach our potential.

Most people use only a tiny portion of their potential, and many never find their true gift or calling in life. They never find a worthwhile cause to support, a cause that really means something to them and makes a difference in their lives.

But when you give to others, or give of yourself to meaningful causes, things change. You expect more of yourself. You discover new feelings of self-worth. Indeed, you begin to tap into your true gifts and talents. And when you do that, you can achieve your full potential as you help yourself and others…

Maslow's 'Hierarchy of Needs'

Some people claim they can't give because they haven't yet achieved a certain level of self-actualization. They may be basing their claim on Abraham Maslow's famous Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow was a psychologist who studied human motivation, leading him to create a pyramid showing what people need to be fulfilled.

The base of Maslow's pyramid starts with our core physiological needs: air, water, food, shelter, warmth, sleep, sex, etc. The second level comprises our security needs: protection from the elements, social order, law, etc. The third level includes our social needs: love, family, relationships, work group, etc. The fourth level consists of our ego needs: achievement, reputation, responsibility, independence, prestige, status, etc.

Maslow originally placed self-actualization needs at the top of his five-stage model. These needs were satisfied through personal growth, self-fulfillment, and the resolution of personal potential. Later models placed self-actualization as a seventh stage (above two new levels: cognitive needs - knowledge, meaning, and self-awareness - and aesthetic needs - beauty, balance, and form). Others have added an eighth and final level: our spiritual needs, achieved through transcendence and helping others to achieve self-actualization.

The Power of Giving is available for purchase online from both Chapters and Amazon. Or at Banyan Books 1-800-663-8442. All profits go to charities.

It's also available as free download.

Harvey McKinnon is a leading fundraising expert, author of the fundraising bestseller Hidden Gold, and documentary filmmaker. He founded and runs the Vancouver -based fundraising consultancy, Harvey McKinnon Associates.

Azim Jamal is a international inspirational speaker and author of several books including The Corporate Sufi and the best selling 7 Steps to Lasting Happiness. He was a senior partner in an accounting firm for 15 years before making the transition to "accounting for life."  [Tyee]

8  Comments:

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  • kurt

    6 years ago

    Comments on "Give and Get"

    That was quite inspirational. I'm impressed by this train of thought. Yes, "fear kills."

  • lynn

    6 years ago

    Umm...I guess I'm a very naughty girl but I really don't have much use for articles like this. All this concern for self-actualization, causes, human potential...pretty weighed down with ego I think...could be wrong... just the feeling I have when I read these things. (The newborn twin in this article acts out of instinct, love, the present moment...with no concern for "being good" or for the "power of giving").

    In regard to the focus in this article on the power of giving..."the Tsoist philosopher Chuang-tzu described such efforts to be ego-less as 'beating a drum in search of a fugitive'... all that such efforts can teach us is that they do not work, for the more we try to behave without greed or fear, the more we realize that we are doing this for greedy or fearful reasons. Saints have always declared themselves as abject sinners - through recognition that their aspiration to be saintly is motivated by the worst of all sins, spiritual pride, the desire to admire oneself as a supreme success in the art of love and unselfishness." (Alan Watts)

    Of which is born the missionary spirit that has helped to destroy so much of this world...where the existence of "nice", "saved" or "giving" people requires (and depends upon) people "in need of saving" ...the damned, the pagan, and the poor. This old ego game is why so many religious and political systems fail in the name of brotherhood and love.

  • Just me

    6 years ago

    Lynn,

    You made pretty good use of an article you didn't have much use for — pointing to the paradox of selflessness that I believe is unsolvable and therefore just an interesting esthetic problem that should not stop us from doing what we should do anyway. This is just the first of, I believe, five parts, so maybe the authors will address your concerns — but so what if they don't? Yes, the missionary spirit (which, I'd suggest, animates this site and many other worthy efforts to enhance human connectedness) requires people "in need of saving," and often their first step is to find a way to give.

  • lynn

    6 years ago

    I think the authors should address whatever concerns they want, this is their article, I'm just commenting on it.

    Has the missionary spirit worked? And why, under "the power" of giving...and under "the power" of saving has so little been given and so much destroyed?

    The simple act of giving is just that.

    Who needs all the self-obsessed falderal attached to it?

  • Just me

    6 years ago

    Lynn,

    What self-obsessed falderal? Are you referring to this article or to some broader cultural issue not being covered here?

    I'd guess that the authors, who quote Thomas Merton and Rumi among others, might ask you to define 'self.' Not easy to do — the search for meaningful identity is tough in a world where societies are now renamed 'economies' and the commercially touted road to self-actualization follows the path of narcissistic consumerism.

    Although the authors are quoting mystics this is not religious — Marx, too, had to address alienation, although many latter-day lefties seem to believe the issue of self-identity is sissy stuff. I don't think it is useful to obscure the legitimate search for some deeper self by labelling it an obsession, as you do.

    The authors share something with the culture jammers of 'Buy nothing day' who articulate a necessary resistance. But that kind of resistance is only the start. The real work is in rebuilding — one aspect of which is the giving they are talking about.

    I am with you that the title, 'The Power of Giving,' seems coined with an eye on the Utne reprint rights. But power exists — it is just another word for directed energy. It's all in how you use it.

  • lynn

    6 years ago

    Just me,

    The self-obsessed falderal? Here's just one example from the above article:

    "But when "you" give to others or give of "yourself" to meaningful causes, things change. "You" expect more of "yourself". "You" discover new feelings of self-worth. Indeed "you" begin to tap into "your" true gifts and talents. And when "you" do that, "you" can achieve "your" full potential as "you" help others.

    Our true intention as individuals eventually surfaces and is exposed...and so goes the world. Isn't that why Africa is now reeling from so-called aid that is really crushing them under a smug pretence of giving that is really based on self-interest and the idea of benefit ...and yes, power...

    All I am saying is what happened to generosity for its own sake? The free and easy nature of it. Even the pain of it. Are we no longer up to participating in it without benefit to ourselves... without rewards ... without our consumer air mile points for giving...

  • dolphin

    6 years ago

    I just read a brief bio of Albert Schweitzer: Doctor of Philosophy, Doctor of Theology, foremost authority on the organ music of Bach, assured of a lofty place in academia. Went back to school, became a Doctor of Medicine, and spent the rest of his life as a medical missionary in Africa. Theologian Frederick Buechner said a person's calling is where their greatest joy meets the world's greatest need. Schweitzer found his.
    Mother Theresa, responding to a woman asking to join her order in Calcutta, wrote back saying "find your own Calcutta". And that is what all of us must do. As Gandhi said, You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

  • Camgra

    6 years ago

    When we tap our compassion, and do something for someone that relieves suffering, we feel better too. This positive mental state is good for our general emotional wellness. There is no such thing as "compassion fatigue" - this is a media term, meaning that other stories will attract more ad dollars. Give till it hurts is nonsense because pain is cancelled through giving.
    Action kills apathy and despair.

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