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'Robin Hood'
Gladiator meets Friar Tuck, and did Monty Python touch up this script?
Russell Crowe: 'as merry as he can.'
For a place supposedly about dreams and fantasy, Hollywood certainly lacks imagination. Decade after decade the same familiar tales are dredged up and recycled, few more often than the story of Robin Hood. The latest iteration of the Sherwood Forest yarn arrives today from director Ridley Scott and his heroic muse, Russell Crowe. Scott's new epic also seems intent on recycling another cinematic product, one that put Crowe in sandals and a skirt back in 2000. Alas, Robin Hood is no Gladiator -- although not for lack of trying.
Credit where due -- Scott and screenwriter Brian Helgeland have certainly done their best to reinvent the story. So much reinvention in fact that the very name barely fits. There is just a solitary reference to one "Robin of the Hood" in the final minutes of the film, a quick nod to the whole rob-from-the-rich (in this case, the Church), give-to-the-poor theme, and only a bit part for that old villain, the Sheriff of Nottingham. This time out, the story is more about English politics circa 1199 AD. And a mightily complicated stew it is.
Crowe plays Robin Longstride, a Crusader fighting in Europe with King Richard the Lionheart (Danny Huston). After the King's untimely death Robin and friends happen upon an ambush in the woods and manage to rescue the dead king's crown. Longstride makes a promise to a dying knight that he will carry a sword back home to the man's father. The dying man is one Robin of Loxsley (Douglas Hodge). In order to complete the delivery of the crown, Longstride becomes Loxsley, an identity he will soon find hard to shake.
Rob from the last epic...
Seem complicated? Naw, that's the easy part. The complicated stuff involves the new King John (Oscar Isaac), his right-hand man Godfrey (Mark Strong), former King's counselor William Marshal (William Hurt), and Godfrey's secret pact with King Phillip of France (uncredited for some reason -- perhaps because the French come off looking as disagreeable here as in Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Scott and Helgeland rewrite a lot of European history to add in a French conspiracy as well as a Robin Hood connection to the creation of Magna Carta. But then, Scott reshaped ancient history to bring back the Roman republic in Gladiator. Historical scholars don't buy much popcorn.
Parallels to that Oscar-winning smash are easy to find in Robin Hood. Crowe's Robin is Maximus revisited. For the sensuous, corrupt, incompetent emperor Commodus, substitute King John. Want a Marcus Aurelius? You have your choice of Aureliei -- either Huston's King Richard, or Max Von Sydow looking exceedingly Richard Harris-like as Sir Walter Loxley. Even Cate Blanchett's Maid Marion might remind you of Lucilla, the Roman emperor's sister. There's even a repeat of the Gladiator scene where someone throws Robin a sword as he gallops past. Recycling, or tribute?
...give lines that are poor
When it's not reminding you of Gladiator, Robin Hood brings to mind Helgeland's 2001 film A Knight's Tale. No Queen hits on the soundtrack, but Mark Addy from that film is here playing Friar Tuck, and the ribald cameraderie of the Merry Men might have been lifted straight out of that earlier screenplay.
A Knight's Tale brought an entertainingly modern sensibility to the Middle Ages. Robin Hood does the same, not quite so playfully. There are all sorts of anachronistic attitudes on display concerning religious sensibilities, the morality of war, and personal hygiene. Perhaps the most unfortunate innovation is the apparent need to empower Marion by making her an honest-to-goodness Xena the Warrior Princess. It leads to the single most cringe-worthy moment of the film, as an armored-and-helmeted Marion snarls: "This one's for you, Walt."
Another amusing line: Robin's insistence that the principles of Magna Carta include a man's right to be "as merry as he can." It's "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," as written by Friar Tuck.
Actually there are no direct references to the "merry men" here, and that's telling. Merry, this version isn't -- more like muddled and grim. The confusing plot drains away any sense of moral outrage as the good guys end up allying with some of the bad guys to fight another group of bad guys in a very chaotic beach battle (watch for the medieval landing craft -- just like D-Day, but wooden). It's hard to care much.
All the same, the screenplay suggests that this is just the beginning of a franchise. If so, I hope Robin and his men fight the Romans next time, or the Nazis. What's a little historical revisionism when there's summertime money to be made? ![]()




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Jerry Munro
2 years ago
Recovering Your Share...
Gonna check it out over the coming week. I liked the old "rob from the rich and give to the poor" theme, as poor as it has been told by bourgeois Hollywood in the past. It's a story line that needs resurrecting in our time, including integration into real life.
Steal From The Rich.
Better than taking a poop slave job from the buggers. They steal your share, so there's no reason you should feel any twinges in resiprocating.
Jerry Munro
2 years ago
The Reality However...
The greater reality by far however, is that the poor so inclined will more typically steal from other poor, or from the level of working class folks who have just managed themselves to secure a "decent" standard of living from the ruling class system. Which is the other side of the same coin as well, that the poor typically wreck more violence upon each other than the ruling class rich that is their true oppressor and robber of share. It's safer and easier typically, because the rich are afforded better protection and possess means for more effective security systems. And if you are caught, you are of a greater likelihood to get a stiffer sentence stealing from the rich than other poor.
And this reality holds pretty much true everywhere in the world. It's the way the class systems' pecking order just works, and the direction in which its Pavlovian logic simply musters the necessary pressure to drive the poor. (To say nothing of the fact that many poor have been convinced by all this, that the rich really are smarter than they are, and resistance is futile, of course. Whereas the rich really just have greater resources and "access", to hide the fact they have no fewer "dumb as posts" than the poor themselves.)
So, doubtless, robbing from the rich is riskier-, even if politically, as well as in terms of monetary gain potential, it is clearly the better and more effective course.
on ways to pleasure
2 years ago
waste of time
that's another ...ator, just dressed differently.
MichaelT
2 years ago
what no Aliens?
from the moment this thing started PR it was pretty clear it was Gladiator 2 - and the director and star of both films reunited here would not let this one die alone.
I am pretty sure there was much gnashed teeth at the inability to make a Gladiator 2 by both.
OilbertaRedTory
2 years ago
Robbing Hoods ...
... with taxes :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M18_Yi9hVm4
JENNZEBEL
1 year ago
entertained
I quite enjoyed this movie. I was not bored at all throughout and liked the twist on the original/expected story...
Fish-counter
1 year ago
As long as it is entertaining...
The real story of Robin Hood, unadorned by Hollywood glitz, is far more interesting, but the great unwashed American youth would not pay to see it. I will catch this on DVD when it comes out.
Now, in 1012 A.D. Thorkell The Tall invaded England with 240 viking ships. His men wreaked havoc on Kent and Sussex for a season, and ransomed the Archbishop of Canterbury. He refused to be ransomed, so they beat him to death with the bones of an ox they had slaughtered and roasted. One of their number, Thrum, delivered the deathblow. Thus began the career of St. Elphege.
Thorkell was so disgusted and intimidated by his own men's behaviour that he defected to the Anglo-Saxon side, only to have his younger brother, Hemming murdered. That explains why he invaded Britain again in 1015 A.D. with King Cnut of Denmark, this time winning. Great was the bloodshed throughout the land, and Thorkell was made Baron of Mercia and Regent of all England when Cnut returned to Denmark. He was also outlawed for a time when Cnut returned to England.
Why does Hollywood consistently overlook these wonderful and bloody tales? They are immortalised in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles. Somebody ought to read them, besides the few descendants of Thorkell, who are scattered throughout the lands. They are the stuff of dreams, and tales told by fathers to their sons for generations. Oops, I am giving away family secrets...
Valhalla! Here I come!
P.S. There must be the blood of an enemy on the sword if said Viking wants to enter through the gates.
Iwonder
1 year ago
like or not
If Burgass does not like it I think I'll go and see it. Best recommendation I can think of.