Life

Cheating on the Home Team

The World Cup makes traitors of immigrants like me.

By Yolanda Brooks, 8 Jun 2006, TheTyee.ca

Beckham World Cup

Love Beckham, fail the 'cricket test.'

My heart is full of hope and I've been counting down the days. I'm keeping tabs on medical bulletins and checking out the opposition. I'm not a hopeful Lions fanatic or an over zealous Canucks fan; I'm an English soccer diehard, giddy with anticipation at the arrival of the football World Cup. The festival of the beautiful game kicks off in Munich today, and right now, most football-, or should I say soccer-loving nations are brimming with hysteria. Four weeks of Ronaldinho, golden goals, triumph and woe, partying and hangovers. Bring it on.

When the whistle blows, I'll be screaming for England, but if Canada had qualified I have to wonder where my allegiances would lie. Could I contemplate cheering for a group of unknowns unlikely to get beyond the round robin stage of the competition while Owen and Beckham et al have a real chance of glory? Can a lifetime of sporting allegiances change along with my residency status? The answer is no. And here's why.

In the U.K., this conundrum is called the "cricket test." The phrase was coined by Norman Tebbit, a sour Conservative politician once described by an opponent as a "semi-house-trained polecat." He was Margaret Thatcher's right-hand man when she was in her pomp, and he could always be relied upon to cause offence.

Brutal ice battles

During one of his contributions to Britain's often-heated immigration debate, Tebbit suggested that immigrants who did not support the home sports team were unpatriotic. His comments were aimed at first and second generation South Asians who provided highly vocal and visible support for visiting cricket teams. In an interview with the Los Angeles Times, he asked the U.K.'s largest visible minority: "Are you still harking back to where you came from or where you are?" He believed immigrants should save their cheers for the U.K. even if the Indian or Pakistani cricket team was thrashing English ass.

With the World Cup upon us, I have been pondering that old divisive "cricket test." When I arrived in Vancouver last year, I watched bemused as hockey fans wound themselves into a frenzy. I knew Canada was hockey-mad before I arrived, but even so I have to admit I never realized the depth of that angst and passion. Shame of shames, I'd never heard of Wayne Gretzky, and even now that I fully appreciate his mythic status, I'm still not sure I could pick him out of a line-up.

Even though I'm a little more hockey savvy, for me, a game of football wins out over the brutal battles of the ice every time. Hockey brawls that barely raise an eyebrow here would get you front-page censure and banned from a football pitch in England or Scotland. If I want to watch blood sport I can go and hang out with the seal cullers in Newfoundland.

Fickle fan psychology

As for Canadian football, I barely knew the CFL existed a year ago. A former colleague who is a regular visitor to these shores warned me that it was "even more boring than American football" and I've never bothered to disprove her theory.

I knew curling was popular, but like most Brits outside Scotland, I only discovered the sport about five minutes before the British team won a gold medal at Salt Lake City.

Before touching down at YVR, my knowledge of Canadian athletes began with Ben Johnson and Ross Rebagliati and ended with Greg Rusedski. And as Rusedski has been a British citizen for the last decade or so, I'm not sure he even counts.

But it's not just unfamiliarity with the nation's favourite sports, teams and idols that's the problem. Switching national allegiances is like rooting for the Oilers after spending your childhood cheering for the Canucks. Such fickleness would draw attention to how foolish it all is anyway. Supporting a team, whether national or local, is not just about location and reason. It's part spontaneous love affair, part family tradition, with a dash of fortuitous success. In the autumn of 1993, I spent a few days in Toronto with my baseball-crazy cousins. It was the World Series, the Blue Jays won and, what do you know, I've had a soft spot for the Jays and an interest in baseball ever since.

Waving the flag

My baseball conversion made me consider the "pick and mix" option -- I could support England for football and switch allegiances for the winter Olympics when I confidently predict Team Canada's medal haul will be more impressive than the U.K.'s solitary silver. But while that would be loyalty of a kind, it's not exactly the mark of a true sports fan. And things would become a little more tricky during the summer Olympics when the potential of either team would be harder to call.

I'm more than happy to be in Canada, but as I scrutinize the injury list of the England team, I have to admit that I'm still harking back to where I came from. I pay Canadian taxes, have completed my first census form and almost know the words to "O Canada." But does it prove I've failed to culturally assimilate, that I've failed the cricket test, if I don't shriek or weep for the hockey team in 2010? And when I start waving the flag of St. George in the early hours of Saturday morning?

Yolanda Brooks is a freelance writer and recent escapee from the gridlock of London, England. Now based in North Vancouver, she won't be doing much writing over the next four football-fuelled weeks.

Related stories: Ian Gregson asked whether the Paralympics should cut loose from the Olympic Games, Jon Azpiri argued Steve Nash's biggest achievement was overcoming advantage, and Tom Hawthorn wrote about the importance of baseball in Cuba.  [Tyee]

22  Comments:

Login or register to post comments

  • tedward

    5 years ago

    Comments on "Cheating on the Home Team"

    As a rabid Canadian Footie fan I would have no problem your cheering England. It's what I am going to do since Canada failed to qualify yet again ( thanks to corrupt refs). I would hope you might give "our" lads a chance next time they come to town though. No reason you cannot support both and in the unlikely event they ever meet in a competitive game well, few would deny you the right to cheer for the team of your birth.

    Where the problem arises is your children and grandchildren. Are you going to force-feed them "auld country love" or are you going to let them choose the country of THEIR birth?

  • Percy

    5 years ago

    Lots of Canadians have favourite American NHL teams. Sports teams are just sports team, so let's relax.

  • BC Mary

    5 years ago

    No, they're not, Percy. Historically, the 1936 Olympics in Germany were all about a couple of guy -- one was a black athlete and one was a dictator -- when the winning black guy disproved the Aryan supremacy theory of the Nazi regime.

    Me, I never paid the slightest attention to baseball's "world" series until the Toronto Blue Jays won ... then watched through tears as the city celebrated like a united bunch of happy children.

    A genuine sports fan must have dozens of these reasons which suffuse these games with something more than "just sports."

  • Percy

    5 years ago

    Well, shouldn't we try to avoid the gratuitous politicization of sport? (The example you referred to was political because the Nazis MADE it political, which didn't serve sport or the Olympics.) I cheer for a hockey team other than my "home" team, but I don't feel the need to apologize for that.

  • DPL

    5 years ago

    It's started. Germany 4 Costorica 2. Great teamwork, goals, great officials, and nobody gets to beat up anyone like in Canada's sport Hockey.

  • kurt

    5 years ago

    Canada hasn't been at the World Cup for 20 years (with Regan, Lenarduzzi etc) and England hasn't won it since the '60s (and that was the one and only time). Brazil is always the one to beat, but hey, you just never know and even Pele says the English have a decent shot this time, so go ahead and root for England, Yolanda. It's a beautiful game, not a litmus test of your patriotism.

  • bloodnok

    5 years ago

    Ah, competition on the friendly field of sport. I'm afraid that I am one of those weirdos who thinks that competition sucks and cooperation rules. I like to play as much as the next guy but when sport comes down to a matter of national pride I think it's time we all got a grip. The Olympics themselves have become little more than an opportunity for each participating country to show how big their respectives dicks are. Call me cynical, but I long for games that are played because they are fun.

  • Jack's

    5 years ago

    Somebody posted that Curling was boring...

    Soccer must be second on the list.

  • BC Mary

    5 years ago

    Interesting point, Percy. From what I've read, it was the R.o.t.W. which made a big deal out of the black guy disproving the Nazi notion of Aryan supremacy. Hitler stomped off home and refused to watch the rest of the Olympics. Up until that moment, Black guys hadn't had much good press.

    But like I said, there must be dozens of reasons why people watch and/or cheer sporting events. Even I can name one: Beckham. But who's he playing for, these days? I don't know. Shouldn't really matter.

  • grub

    5 years ago

    Let's not forget, as England striker Gary Lineker once said: "Football is a game with 22 people and in the end the Germans always win."

  • grub

    5 years ago

    bloodnok:

    Quote:
    I am one of those weirdos who thinks that competition sucks and cooperation rules... Call me cynical, but I long for games that are played because they are fun.

    First, there's not many team sports that can be played without considerable "cooperation" between teammates. I know you'll likely think my response pedantic wordplay, but teamwork = cooperation.

    Why long for the days when games were played for fun. Join a beer league somewhere (hockey, soccer, baseball...) and you'll be playing for fun.

  • grub

    5 years ago

    Jack's

    Quote:
    Somebody posted that Curling was boring...

    Soccer must be second on the list.

    I'm always curious who would post something like this. I find, among my acquaintances, the people who make such statements will then try to convince me that baseball is really exciting. Odd, isn't it?

  • Truman Green

    5 years ago

    B.C. Mary, that "black guy" was named Jesse Owens. Yeah he really choked Hitler's chicken alright. Won just about everything.

    Only problem though, was after that, people thought that black guys could run about fifty miles an hour. I ought to know. When I first sat down in home room in grade 9, the teacher introduced me to the class as, "...another Harry Jerome, or maybe Jesse Owens."

  • Former BC Boy

    5 years ago

    We should always remember that sports are for fun!
    However, these days it is sometimes hard to tell with the overcommercialization, the money involved (salaries, etc.) and the inevitable riots if someone wins or loses!

    But I think you should cheer for whomever you want to. If Canadians want to cheer for their home country I'm all for it. It certainly makes for good entertainment at the Canada socer games, and I should know as I used to go to all of them (in Vancouver) before I left Canada for work overseas.

    So have fun! Enjoy the soccer with friends, and people you have just met in the pub or on the street!

    DAE-HAN-MIN-GUK !!
    Go Korea Go!

    And...er...England too as my father is from London.

    Kevan Hudson
    Suncheon, South Korea

  • geezer65

    5 years ago

    grub

    Quote:
    I find, among my acquaintances, the people who make such statements will then try to convince me that baseball is really exciting. Odd, isn't it?

    Well the last inning of a close game is.

  • Tom Lal

    5 years ago

    What a bunch of horse poop. Cheer for whom you wish. Every day Canadians root for for football teams staffed mainly by US Players, Basketball teams from south of the border and even the NHL now is being invaded by Europe as Don Cherry is only too happy to remind us. So root for whom you choose in soccer, I am simply happy I have a remote to not have to view it at all...

  • geezer65

    5 years ago

    Tom Lal

    AMEN!!!!!

  • ripponfalls

    5 years ago

    What is the use of cheering for England? Like with everything else, they go for royalty instead of talent... and yes, the failure to cap St. Matt still rankles, and this time they leave Jerome Defoe and Darren Bent (18 goals for Charlton, my god, what more do you need?) and take a 17 year old who probably won't be put on the field and not one but two strikers who are just recovering from broken feet. O.k., I can understand taking a chance on one... but that would have to be Rooney. Why Owen as well?

    News flash: He will disappoint. Again.

    Didn't anyone tell the British that the name of the game is scoring goals????? So while we are on the subject of royalty, why not get it over with and let the two princes play, with Charles as a backup?

  • Coyote

    5 years ago

    Quote:
    Ah, competition on the friendly field of sport. I'm afraid that I am one of those weirdos who thinks that competition sucks and cooperation rules. Bloodnok

    Well, at least I'm somewhat relieved to discover that I am not the only "guy" then, who did not seem to get the "sport fan" gene that seems to typically come coupled with the male X chromosome.

    Though for a guy who has never cared much for sports per se, I liked participating in boxing as a lad, and as a casual observer still. I like cycling as well, but mostly as a lone wolf doer.

    Outside of that, most sports are a yawner with me. But that's just me. The primary rule that Rules is, of course, if it feels good, do it.

    It's the "beer guzzler" with his gut down onto his thighs, evolving into a sloth who thinks boob tube sports is what life is all about who is The Problem. Otherwise, hopefully, we'd really be kicking right wing ass here and everywhere. 8-D

    I don't really know who is all playing in the world cup, but were I so inclined, and Canada isn't there, I'd be pulling for Scotland or Iraq, even Iran. Anybody but the goddamned English or Yankees. (Nahh! **** Canada too. They're in Afghanistan, and otherwise everywhere running around kissing Yankee ass. They don't deserve to win jack shitt. They're just a bunch of bootlick losers.)

    LOL.

    Sports as substitute class and anti-imperialist warfare. :-) I could probably get into that.

  • Coyote

    5 years ago

    That "bleep" out by the Tyee Language Police should read, "Fuk Canada too..."

  • ripponfalls

    5 years ago

    Naw, it isn't a gene linked thing, I have no beer, no beer gut, no tv, don't watch the games, have to check to see who is playing... just always enjoyed playing, and you know what? I see a lot of women who enjoy playing soccer/football as well. Is that X chromosome linked?

    The only thing that is going to kick rightwing butt is a real solid economic downturn, but no fear, that's coming.

  • Mkitty

    5 years ago

    I'm watching to see the hot bodies, rippling thigh muscles and and groovy hairstyles of the football players...yeah...it's all good...mmmmm

    • No best comments selected by an editor for this story yet. To see all comments, click the All Comments tab, above.
    • The discussion for this story is closed. No more comments can be added.