Quirkyalones Band Together

It’s Valentine’s Day and you are single — with no prospects. As you walk by the Hallmark cards and red cardboard hearts in the drugstore, you realize that you have not been in a romantic relationship for a year … or is it two? It’s time to declare that you are a quirkyalone.

Quirkyalones are defined not so much by their sexuality as by their lifestyle — they take pleasure in solitude. Yet quirkyalones are also claiming a portion of Valentine’s Day to celebrate themselves, in response to the day’s overwhelming emphasis on coupledom. So while many duos celebrated Valentine’s Day with candlelit dinners at their favourite restaurant’s corner table, a few singles inclined to celebrate their aloneness together are marking International Quirkyalone Day in venues from Sydney, Australia to Eldridge, Iowa. In Vancouver this February 14, International Quirkyalone Day is being marked at the Kingston Taphouse and Grille.

From thought to phenomenon

San Francisco writer and zine creator Sasha Cagen’s personal journal entries on being a quirkyalone (a term she came up with to describe herself) eventually led to an article in Utne Reader (“The Quirkyalone,” October 2000). Bookworms, poets, artists, athletes and other idiosyncratic characters quickly responded — and a minor cultural movement was born.

Do your favourite activities include people watching, baking bread, and renting movies that no one else wants to see? Do you have very high relationship standards? You might just be a quirkyalone. Find out for sure by taking the quiz.

Quirkyalones are often quite fiercely independent females. According to an Internet survey conducted by Cagen and a colleague, they tend to live in cities. Eleven per cent are homosexual, compared to the 7 to 10 per cent in the general population.

Vancouver is a good place to find Canadian quirkyalones, in their rented one-bedroom apartments. It’s harder to relish solitude in Toronto, with its icy winters and humid summers, or Montreal, which thrives on its lively club scene and champagne dining.

City nurtures aloneness

Vancouver nurtures quirky, independent behaviour. It’s a great city for watching, on long walks along the beach or through the streets. Solitary jogging is in vogue in all four seasons. In the summer, happy solitary types flying kites abound at Vanier Park.

For people-watching, a window seat at Starbucks is almost always a block and a half away. Nor do introspectives have trouble finding a place to meditate as they sweat at the generous sprinkling of yoga studios and fitness centres. Even dining out alone is not intimidating, thanks to the wealth of sushi bars.

This week’s Georgia Straight even listed the city’s restaurants offering reservations for one at communal tables.

Julia Watson, organizer of Vancouver’s IQD, found an escape from relatives’ questions about her single lifestyle in the quirkyalone movement.

Alone and complete

“There’s just so much that tells you that you are not complete until you find another person, and that really didn’t apply to me,” said Watson. “I was looking for a way to show an alternative.”

Watson is also program manager at Cortes Island’s Hollyhock retreat and has organized the first Westcoast Quirkyalone Convention for this summer. Quirkyalone creator Sasha Cagen will speak at the event, June 29 to July 3 at Hollyhock. Quirkies will hike, dance, do yoga, and keep it all platonic.

While proud of their self-sufficiency, quirkies do not necessarily go without committed relationships. The Tyee’s own business manager will celebrate IQD at Vancouver’s Taphouse Bar with her partner of eight years.

“I’m entirely new to it, but I like the idea of a celebration that’s about being happy with who you are,” said Michelle Hoar in an e-mail interview. “I think that ‘quirkyalone’ just defines the kind of person I like to have in my life in general: people who know themselves well, and don’t look outside of themselves — to sexual relationships — to define themselves.”

According to Cagen’s book, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics, confident, self-aware independent quirkyalones include celebrities like comedian Margaret Cho, Queen Latifah, and Alanis Morissette. Jennifer Lopez didn’t make the list.

The Internet can also be a defining interest of quirkyalones.  Avoiding those inevitable feelings of loneliness can be easier with that instant source of communication. “It isn’t like people are hanging out in the mall and being quirkyalone,” said Watson.  “You can be sitting at home alone on a Saturday night and if you want to have some contact, you can go onto the [quirkyalone] web site.”

International Quirkyalone Day begins at the Kingston Taphouse, 755 Richards Street, at 7 p.m. Or you can head to the Vancouver Public Library’s central branch on Georgia Street for a talk about letterpress book making at 7:30 p.m.

Caroline Dobuzinskis is an intern at The Tyee.