I once had a girl break up with me over MSN. Although I thought it was pathetic, I was relieved that it wasn't face to face. Plus, her dad lent me two CD's that I probably would have had to give back if it were in person. Now I use MSN as a quick way to check my E-mail, and I always put my status to "appear offline."

This is an emerging social change that none of us saw coming. There are online 'communities' that occupy the full time attention of thousands of people, revolving around something as simple as a video game, or as varied as partisan political discussions, quilting design discussions and sportfishing sites. The amount of passion and creativity that gets poured into many of these sites. Arguments reach a feverish pitch, discussions range for hours. Ultimately, in most cases it can be a massive waste of energy and time.

I was reading SFU's student newspaper (the Peak) this week, and they published an interesting article on the subject of how seriously some people are taking online role-playing games. To the point where people are spending thousands of dollars purchasing imaginary characters. Is the internet really the touted information highway, or another form of commercial media (eg. TV) to waste time and keep us from thinking. The article from the Peak is available at http://www.peak.sfu.ca/the-peak/2004-2/issue12/fe-online.html

Thank you!!! I will definitely be printing your article for my 15 year old daughter. I just recently made a decision to not allow my daughter Internet acccess...more parents need to check and see what their kids are doing, what kind of profiles they are putting on line that apparently describes the type of person they are. Just recently I noticed my daughter was using this website called Nexopia to talk with her friends. I was absolutely mortified at the profiles, the comments, and just the fact this this is allowed. Too many parents allow their adolescents to be on line wee into the hours, in their bedrooms with their doors locked, absolutely no supervision at all. Then they wonder what the heck is going on with their kids. I would highly recommend that parents do more supervising. when my daughter was using MSN Messenger, etc., there is no fear, they say waht they want, gossip...stuff they would never do face to face, and then they can't understand why they are having so many social problems. Kudos to you!! Another tip, any parent will notice a big positive change in their child if they monitor, supervise, and even take it away for awhile...then change is most noticeable!!!

All I can say is thank god I didn't even have e-mail until I was 26... it must be whacko for teenagers these days...

I as well made a pledge to stop using MSN Messenger, but only for the summer. After about a month, the craving to use IM finally declines. Also, up until one month ago, I couldn't stand the "MSN lingo" that follows along. I still find it hard to spell words correctly. Words such as "cuz", "u", "brb" and "g2g" still linger in my brain while I type anything on the computer. Its a horrible program, and the above points need to be communicated to the IM addicts. LOL.

sideshow, if you want to read where that peak article came from, check out the june 2004 walrus. it's wild how far these online communities have come.

Haven't been online that long, but years before I got a computer I read, a book, whose title now escapes me about some, idiot, who had a thing for lesbians, masquerading as a lesbian, in a lesbian chat room, where he fell in love with a real lesbian, comically, karmically and with perhaps cosmic justice the entire experience screwed his head very badly.....

Instant messaging nearly cost me my marriage when my wife and I were having a difficult time adjusting to each other's midlife crisis. I was able to 'meet' more women than I knew what to do with. Unfortunately I knew what to do with a few of them and had several affairs - all as a result of cruising and chatting and instant messaging. Thankfully my wife and I returned from the brink and are happily married again. I know I would never have had the affairs if I would have had to meet women through the usual bar scene - I live in a small and remote town. The computer made it tooooo easy to connect with those 'big city women'. Now I live with a bit of guilt, but thankful that my marriage survived and my wife forgave my temporary insanity. Be careful folks!

Instant messaging and cellphone messaging, as well as ICQ functions, remind me of the ten thousand monkeys trying to come up with Shakespeare. We're all forgetting that brevity is the soul of wit.

What a pile of hogwash! Instant Messaging is what you want to make of it. As a disabled and deaf senior I'm daily indebted to IM and e-mail to allow me to maintain easy everyday connections with my family as well as friends all over the world. Kits depriving her daughter of internet access is just plain mean. If her daughter ends up loathing her she has nobody but herself to blame. Surely she could introduce her daughter to self-disciplined ways of maximizing the usefulness of internet connectivity. Obviously Kits makes use of it for herself. To deny one's child something virtually every other kid in the freaking world has seems pretty rotten to me.

"It's an extremely poor carpenter who blames his his tools when his shelf turns out crooked." I don't remember who said that, but I think it fits here. IM's serve a great purpose, I stay in touch with family who live too far away to see often and are too numerous to make telephone calls cost effective. Sure, I could mail a letter but having a conversation, give and take (albeit typed), is infinately more rewarding. As far as kid susing IM's, this would seem to me to be a perfect opportunity to teach your children the fine art of moderation as well as requiring your active involvement in their lives. Absolutley, you should be monitoring their online activity...the internet isn't going to go away, removing or limiting their access will ultimately be more harm to them than good. The far better approach is to teach them how to responsibily use the tool. Too much of anything is not good...drink to much water and you'll die. All good things in moderation is the way to go.

Very interesting! I'm totally encouraged by the insight shown by the author (who happens to be about the same age as my own techno-kids). Our whole household is making use of the technologies available to us. Personally, I think that it's very cool to be able to have conversations with people anywhere in the world. I work evenings & nights, and have discussed all kinds of subjects with complete strangers at all hours. Sometimes it's easier to express an idea to someone who has no prior knowledge of oneself... i.e., no pre-conceived notions. The key is to be aware of the pitfals and advantages of IM, and also the ways in which using technologies can enhance the "living" life. Perhaps the real issues for young people are about developing social skills and discernment. Supportive adults would be wise to foster environments where young adults can learn to express themselves with clarity and passion.

Patrick Blake, 8/1/2004 8:10:47 PM, writes: As a disabled and deaf senior I'm daily indebted to IM and e-mail to allow me to maintain easy everyday connections with my family as well as friends all over the world. --- obviously your perspective as a disabled and deaf senior is far removed from that of this teenage writer as well as the millions of other teens who use programs. a senior would not have any of the same social issues that a teenager would have. im sure IM programs have helped you out but your experience doesnt apply at all to the arguments presented in the article. --- Adele, 8/2/2004 9:33:37 PM, writes: "It's an extremely poor carpenter who blames his his tools when his shelf turns out crooked." --- i think this is a narrow viewpoint because we arent looking at a single "carpenter" here. were looking at an entire generation. the social environment of the average teenager, as well as their mental behaviour (conditioned by the same environment) as well as the nature of the programs is what causes these problems. the issue at hand here isnt internet stalking or meeting people who will do physical harm to the person. the issue that the article presents is a disintegration of human contact between teenagers who are developing socially. that kind of an issue cant be monitored by parents. the solution has to come from the user.

I'd like to congratulate Mike LaPointe for making a significant change in his life. Amazing how much positive reinforcement there is for conformity, but so little for change. I would invite The Tyee to have Mike keep us posted on his new life. I'm sure he will have a lot more to say to us...

Ha ha I lyke so did not read that cuz lyke omg its so long. ha well ummmm i want to no y nexus is not working cuz i need on it and lyke omg please it is makin me mad lyke pease?

"The Manipulation of Information" at http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/6/22/article_02.htm

Chat is definitely what you make of it. As a university student, I find it much more feasible to keep in touch with friends and classmates online than by telephone (expensive) or email (one-way dialogue only). While the lingo and expressions are make use of less-than-stellar "proper english", I am not losing my social capabilities as a result. Instant messaging is the way of the present, and of the future. I wonder if the arguments being made here against MSN and the like are the same as the ones made against gabbing on the telephone, when it was a new phenomenon?

I agree with Mike, MSN is a pain in the A***. I'm 18, and first installed MSN when I was 13/14,Ive never used AOL or Yahoo as they aren't that popular in the UK. It's addictive, and it annoys me how whenever I'm offline all I can think about whenever Im bored is who I could be talking to online. I have most of my best friends on my contact list (all who have internet access), and find myself constantly talking about pointless crap, with each conversation being a repeat of the "hi, how ru? what u been up 2?" thing. Another thing that bothers me about MSN messenger is that we do all our talking online, and then when we actually meet up in real life for things such as parties, we have nothing left to talk about and end up being bored! it takes the excitement and relevence away from socialising. When I was 16 I moved house and we didnt have the internet for nearly 6 months, my social life didn't suffer, it actually probably got better, as i went out more and had more time to myself. So as of today I'm uninstalling MSN messenger permanently and anyone who wants to talk to me can call me on my phone or email me!

u need a reality check

im a 16 years old high school student. I am doing 1 subject which is a 3/4 VCE subject, (equivilant to a HSC subject) in australia. MSN is terribly addictive! As soon as u see that logo, u have the horrible urge to go on, its irresistable. it prevents me from completing any homework!!! it seriously lowers nearly all my class mates grades, becuse its addictive. when we are on we are just as bored as when we are not on! over all, its an annoying distraction, which stops people from interacting, without even entertaining! i wish i had more controll over myself, but its to hard, i think parents should limit their childs usage like my parents do!