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Opinion

Deck the Halls of Power

With BC's own political Christmas carols this season.

By Bill Tieleman 20 Dec 2011 | TheTyee.ca

Bill Tieleman is a regular Tyee contributor who writes a column on B.C. politics every Tuesday in 24 Hours newspaper. E-mail him at weststar@telus.net or visit his blog.

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We hope yule sing along! Image: vintageholidaycrafts.com.

"Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip." -- Singer Gary Allan

When Christmas carols meet B.C. politics 'tis the season to be a jolly old Grinch.

Here are a few songs you could hear around the Legislature this holiday season.

Christy the Premier

[To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman"]


Christy the Premier/Was a radio talk show soul,
With a giant smile that stretched a mile/And a very ambitious goal.
Christy the Premier is a fairy tale, they say,
She was made of fluff but she sure could bluff, so she came to power one day.

There must have been some magic/In that photo op they planned.
For when they turned the cameras on/She really did glad hand!

O, Christy the Premier/Said she'd beat the NDP
And the Liberals say/She'd campaign away
To keep power for them in B.C.

Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
Look at Christy spin!

Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
She really wants to win!

Christy the Premier/Knew

the polls were bad that day,
So she said, "A spring election we'll run/It'll be such fun
Now before I melt away."
 Down to the Caucus/With an election writ in hand!
Running here and there all/Around the Ledge saying:

"Elect me while you can!"
She led them down the streets of town/

Right to the Cabinet room. 
 And she had to call it off when/She heard them holler "Stop!"

Then Christy the Premier/Had to hurry on her way, 
 But she waved goodbye saying/"Don't you cry, I'll be back at 'NW some day."
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
They made Christy go.
Thumpetty thump thump/Thumpetty thump thump,
Back to radio you know!

Away in the U.K.

[To the tune of "Away In A Manger"]

Away in the U.K./High Commissioner his role,
Premier Gordon Campbell/Rewarded for his toil.
The stars in London, England/ Shone ever so bright,
But Gordon was troubled/All through the night.

"It's really not fair," he said to himself,
The Order of B.C. is not on my shelf.
I wanted it, I craved it -- my friends made it so,
But to get it in hand, to Victoria I must go."

"It pains me to think of the reception I'd get,
When Dave Barrett hasn't even got an OBC yet!
Nor Vander Zalm, nor Harcourt -- still longer they wait,
But it's better to get it too early than late!"

Wreck the Libs

[To the tune of "Deck The Halls"]

Wreck the Libs with Trasolini/

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


Christy thinks that Joe's a meany/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


Joe once was a friend of Clark/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


But now with Dix he'll make his mark/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


That by-election in Port Moody/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


Has made the premier very broody/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


With one more in Chilliwack/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha


Liberals fear a heart attack/Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha

O Cummins, All Ye Faithful

[To the tune of "O Come, All Ye Faithful"]

O Cummins all ye faithful/Rightwing and triumphant,
O Cummins, O come ye to Victoria/Cummins, Christy scolds him:
"He'll split our Liberal vote!/Cummins, let's ignore him,
Cummins, we abhor him!O Cummins, don't vote for him
For Christy's sake!"

Right of centre/Conservative and Reform,
Lo! He relishes Liberal scorn!
Oh my god/A third party at last!

Best wishes to all readers for a happy and safe holiday season! See you back here on Dec. 27.  [Tyee]

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