Confession of a Dirty Trickster

"We know of no spectacle so ridiculous as the British public in one of its periodic fits of morality," stated Lord Macaulay. If one dropped "public" and made it the "British Columbia media," the aphorism would apply quite nicely.

In the trial that just won't start, the Virk and Basi case, opening statements by the Crown allege that the B.C. Liberal party was involved in dirty tricks! I mean, would you believe that of Gordon Campbell and his merry band of Little Lord Fauntleroys and Little Red Ridinghoods?

Can anyone believe that they would clog the talk shows then give a false name posing as your average citizen overcome with admiration for the Campbell gang?

Or plant a dissenter in the midst of the usual "concerned citizens" who pop out of dark rooms every time the "left" is involved in a protest?

Confessions

Alas, friends, before I add one more syllable. Here is my own confession as printed on my website:

"Egad! We're told that Liberal insiders set up calls to the Bill Good Show! These fakers pretended to be ordinary citizens and they were Liberal hacks! Where will the scandal of it all end?

"This, I must tell you, has struck my conscience and I must unburden myself.

"In November-December 1975 I was running on the Socred ticket in Kamloops for the legislature and was a guest on a local talk show and the NDP hit me with everything but the ring post. My campaign manager, Bud Smith, was furious at the lack of support for me so he arranged another talk show on another station. We had, in our campaign headquarters, 25 phones. The trick was to dial six of the seven numbers and as you heard the on air call finish, quickly dial the last digit and nearly all the time it worked. Bud was at headquarters acting like an orchestra conductor as call after call, praising me to the skies, went out on the airwaves.

"I remember two calls well. The first was from a lady who, out of breath, just had to pull off the road to tell me what an adornment I would be to the legislature. 'That's Emily Latta,' the mayor's wife, I thought, 'and she's sitting in the second row at headquarters.' Then there was Bert Forster, a mining engineer -- mining was a big issue in that election. Bert, a man of serious mien at the jolliest of times, asked me a complicated question about mining, royalties and so on and I can remember thinking 'Jesus, Bert, you're not supposed to ask real questions!'

"In all, one NDP call got through and they were some upset. They stormed the manager's office claiming that he'd fixed the program (he had nothing to do with it) demanding another show which he refused.

"So there you have it -- over 30 years after the event I confess."

The shame of it all! I can only hope that after all this time the statute of limitations has run out and I don't find myself in the prisoner's box along side Messrs. Basi and Virk!

Foiling the hacks

I only make this defense; we didn't pay anyone to do this as the volunteers thought it all rather fun.

I ran a talk show for 25 years. Whenever a politician was a guest, I knew that the first four or five calls would be set-ups. I would never give more than a minute's advance notice of a political poll so as to foil the party hacks. You could tell them a mile away. They would start out "Mr. Campbell I've always voted NDP but you and your courageous Liberals have changed my mind." Yeah, right!

The NDP, in the two elections I fought in Kamloops in 1975 and 1979 used to drive the mentally challenged to the polls so they could vote for the NDP candidate. On my side, Phil Gaglardi's wife, Jenny, who ran an old folks home, would, as the polling officers arrived, gather all her charges, and tell them that she and Phil and all God-fearing Christians were voting for Rafe Mair. I assure you that I could go on.

Politics is a dirty business. Campaign funds are given in order to achieve the donor's wishes. Why, otherwise, would U.S. congressmen spend several million dollars in order to get a $175,000 a year job? Businesses and labour unions don't send money to a common pot so that all parties can have campaign funds to pursue the noble art of politics. They give it to the party they think will decide things their way.

As a lawyer, I once acted for a sitting MLA who was not re-nominated because of blatant dishonesty by his opponent. I immediately applied to a Supreme Court judge who all but said that he didn't think that dirty politics was for him to judge but should be done by the party itself.

System is dishonest

We have, then, a system which itself is dishonest when it tells voters that it's democratic; moreover, it's filled with people who know this isn't so. From top to bottom and side to side our system is a game people play. Just consider this: if every MLA or MP, when speaking in the chamber, were to, instead of dealing with the issue at hand, recite Edward Fitzgerald's Rubaiyat of Omar Kiam, nothing would change. Not a damned thing. We live in a system where the decision is made first with "debate" to follow.

This happens outside the chamber as well. Look at the Gateway project where the government made and publicized their decision then did its public hearings, environmental assessments and the like.

The rank and file politician dare not tell the truth lest party support be withdrawn and everyone knows what it's like to run as an "independent." The premier and cabinet will tell you, with a straight face, that policy and legislation is decided by caucus -- which is barnyard droppings. We the public float along in a trance believing our system is parliamentary "democracy" when in truth it's nothing of the sort. And yet we are horrified at unethical campaigning.

Am I being cynical?

Accuracy can't be cynicism and the fact is we live under a system which is phony as hell. Under this system up front politics complete with fair and accurate comment is impossible. Think back to all those things candidates said in the last election. None, unless he was the premier, could deliver on any of them. A phony system will be made up of phony people ready to play the game -- with such dirty tricks as appear necessary. A candidate who said "I have no issues to discuss with you because I'm going to Victoria to do what my leader tells me to" would be laughed at, derided and without support. Yet he would be the only honest person in the entire crowd.

Politics is a big time undertaking not because MLAs represent their constituents but because parties always represent those who bankroll them.

Dirty tricks reported on and confessed are a logical outgrowth of an inherently dishonest system.

Related Tyee stories:

• Premier Alleged to Know of Paid Media Scam
  Phony hecklers, fake protesters paid by BC Libs, says Virk defence.
• Spiderman in a Web of Intrigue
  The Basi-Virk-BC Rail probe may yield BC's biggest scandal yet. If so, meet the Crown's mysterious star witness: 'Spiderman' Erik Bornman.
• Best of the Muck
  Thanks to YouTube, you may sample the sleaziest political ads.