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Help! I Live in Lorne Mayencourt’s ‘Hood!
When politicians vow to kick ‘living ass’, where can a trembling West Ender hide?
I’ve seen a few Godzilla movies, and I’ve seen the big lizard take on some mighty tough customers. What I’ve never seen is any follow-up about the affected neighbourhoods. Was compensation ever paid to the residents of Tokyo who suffered damaged fences, or birdfeeders, or injuries related to giant lizard feet?
No one cares for the little people. When the big boys fight, we’re toe jam. So I’m worried. I recently moved into the West End—Lorne Mayencourt’s riding.
The controversial Liberal MLA will run for re-election on May 17, but he has powerful enemies. Most powerful of all would be Mayor Larry Campbell, who recently announced that he would openly oppose Mayencourt’s bid—in effect playing King Kong to Mayencourt’s Godzilla. (Mayencourt may in fact be Mothra to Campbell’s Godzilla; Campbell may even be the dreaded Mechagodzilla with Mayencourt taking on the role the Smog Monster. At this point it would be premature to speculate. What is known is that the mayor has vowed to “kick” Mayencourt’s “living ass.”)
The prospect of being caught between warring political titans was not mentioned in my rental agreement. I’m sure my neighbours share my concern. Where will we be when the mud starts flying?
No one is safe
Things are bad enough here already.
One guy who lives down the street from me told a chilling tale. He was getting on a Robson bus recently when he discovered he didn’t have the exact coins. “Does anybody have some change?” he asked the passengers. Suddenly a short, smiling man rushed onto the bus and began beating him about the head and face, screaming, “No panhandling in my riding, you dope-addled sponge! Get a job!” The mysterious vigilante then kissed several babies and fled. A trail of campaign literature led back to Mayencourt’s Library Square offices.
Now ordinary folks in my neighbourhood live in fear, lest their incomes fall below a certain level and they too are attacked.
But the fear cuts both ways. Now that Mayor Campbell has declared war, residents wonder if they will be forced to fight City Hall. Campbell consigliore Jim Green has also publicly signed on to the anti-Mayencourt crusade, and that had led to considerable worry.
As it is, downtown residents walk a little more quickly as they pass Panama Jack’s, Green’s favorite haunt. The powerful councilman is known for cruel fun after he’s had a few. Sometimes he will force cowering bar patrons to wear hats. If he’s really in his cups, he will stand some poor stooge against the dartboard for a little game he calls “Dodge the Draft.” What he will do to Mayencourt is frightening to contemplate.
Life in a war zone
But even Green stands aside for Mayor Campbell, the baddest dude in the Chamber. Campbell’s ferocity has historical roots. He traces his line back to the perpetrators of Scotland’s greatest crime—the infamous Massacre at Glencoe.
In 1692 the Campbell clan, under orders from their English masters, accepted the hospitality of the McDonald clan, only to turn on them and commit wholesale slaughter. McDonald men, women, and children were put to the sword by the bloodthirsty Campbells.
Today, Lorne Mayencourt occupies his office in Library Square—right beside a McDonald’s. It’s a clever move by the Liberal MLA, who may well be courting powerful allies here. Revenge, they say, is a dish best served with special sauce and cheese. How many innocents will be filleted when the battle begins? (And considering the record of backstabbing and perfidy that is a Campbell trademark, MLA Mayencourt may want to watch his back when the premier’s around, too. Clan loyalty runs deep.)
The election campaign will be dirty enough as it is. Rumours suggest that the Liberal attack ads will be particularly vicious, claiming an NDP government will veto any NHL labour deal that forces the Canucks to play overtime. As for the NDP, they will argue that if it weren’t for Liberal cutbacks the Pope would be alive today.
Things are going to get nasty, and Lorne Mayencourt’s riding will be Ground Zero. The future of the province may be at stake—but frankly, I’m just worried about my damage deposit.
Steve Burgess is a regular contributor to The Tyee. ![]()



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kurt
7 years ago
Comments on "Help! I Live in Lorne Mayencourt’s â
Brilliant drollery. More, please.
Budd Campbell
7 years ago
About a year ago I saw Maynecourt going about his Library Square office tearing down some protest posters that he thought were inappropriate. In one case, he came up behind two guys who were actually reading the poster at the time, and with a smile ripped it down. The two ex-readers looked kind of stunned. Maynecourt just kept on smiling and doing his rounds, tearing down all copies in the vacinity.
Sideshow Bob
7 years ago
I think Mayencourt's Safe Streets Act could be a goldmine if we used it to fine all those pushy people distributing free daily rags. And where did those rags (Metro, 24 Hours, Dose) find the army of people willing to stand at street corners in the cold rain for low wages? Are things that bad in the province?
Frank
7 years ago
Bob, you couldn't possibly have seen that. Obviously you're making that up. Everyone knows everyone in the province is employed and making better than 40k a year and don't have to take low wage jobs giving away papers. The Liberal campaign literature printed in the editorial sections of our provincial papers tells me so.
Frank
7 years ago
You know things are bad when the Seattle papers think the Vancouver papers are too right wing.
Stuart
7 years ago
Lorne Mayencourt is now trying to appease core party hardliners with the safe streets act. What better way to rally support by criminalizing the homeless and unsightly just before an election. You see core Liberal party supporters hate and won't tolerate income distribution in a downward direction via panhandling or programs , but don't mind upward handouts in the form of tax cuts for the elite and over 800 mil in corporate handouts including subsidies and dept write-offs. This is nothing new, like the Ontario example under the Harrisites. Nothing unites the right more than their fear and hatred of the poor.
jesterjogger
7 years ago
Lorne Mayencourt is a living disgrace.
You would think that, having come from a historically downtrodden segment of society, he would have atleast some empathy and compassion for other HUMAN BEINGS. This ofcouse is way too much to expect of a minion of gordo "caligula" campbell. And now with the canwest fuelled hysteria re the Gomery affair the terrifying prospect of a stephen "brownshirt/flat tax/death penalty/star wars" harper social revolution looms. Can you imagine the progressive social policies that await us NOW? If you thought the new era and golden decade were bad wait till that bush-ass kissing, evangelical right-wing fanatic fascist starts in. Oh well I need to lose some weight anyhow so a 10 year stint in a forced labor camp probably will do me some good.
Nationalist
7 years ago
the Campbell clan, under orders from their English masters, accepted the hospitality of the McDonald clan, only to turn on them and commit wholesale slaughter.
That says alot about Gordon Campbell.
I met Larry Campbell once,I was behind him in a line up in a gas station in an undiclosed location when he took a weekend out of town
He seemed like a nice enough person, personable to others who talked to him.
i'm not a resident of vancouver so i can't say if hes doing a good job in his city as mayor or not but one can say it was fair of him to hold a referendim for the olyimpics in his city
he seems more democratic than most politicians.
I hope Larry will one day go to provincial politics, what I have seen of him in the media gives me a fair assumption that he is more into whats best for the population rather than political favors. (I hope I'm right on this)
I would pay to see Larry Campbell and Mayencourt to fight in a ring on pay per view.
Nationalist
7 years ago
[how do these bloody quote tags work GRRR]
alexwh
7 years ago
Excellent photograph for this article.
But both the Tyee (David Beers you should know better) and Vancouver Magazine do the uncredited photographer a disservice. In our Canadian "rules" of editorial useage of photographs the photographer is paid for a photo by a magazine and this is (unless it is put in writing) for first useage. After the magazine is pulled from the stands the second rights revert back to the photographer. The use of the photograph as a lead for Burgess's article is a second useage. The photographer should be paid (unless he gave permision for its use). At the very least the Tyee should credit the photographer.
Coyote
7 years ago
I select by dragging the cursor across the piece, then while it is highlighted, press the appropriate button.
Hope this helps. (There is another method, but that is about the safest, I find.)
richard0223
7 years ago
just a note to let Steven Burgess know that his Perelmanesque lampooning of Mayencourt was very amusing, a first rate piece of satire. Maybe Lorne will learn to lighten up a little and see the glass as half full. I have been living in the West End for 15 years and walking the same streets (and alleys)that he presumably does and have never, even once, been "aggresively" panhandled. Given his recent pronoucements and grandstanding I am inclined to ask myself which sky is he living under that he is so sure is falling? Granted the increase in drug addled youth has seen a marked increase since the Four Pillars Program came into effect, still I doubt criminalizing their panhandling is likely to keep them from picking at their scabs in public. Just say "no" and move along Lorne or give directions to nearest detox facility. Short of that, be assured they will find their own road to hell with or without your good intentions.
rkewen
7 years ago
Kudos to Sideshow Bob for his perspicacity, obviously all those people distributing more right wing ranting rags are in the viewer's imagination.
and jesterjogger, I too fear the "terrifying prospect of a stephen 'brownshirt/flat tax/death penalty/star wars' harper social revolution."
Perhaps its time for people to read/reread "On the Take" by Stevie Cameron and remind themselves of how professional the Conservatives are at corruption. Methinks it's a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
rkewen
7 years ago
Excuse me, I do applaud jesterjogger's clarity of vision, but regarding the imaginary people, I was referring to the comment by frank (who was responding to SideShow Bob).
Anne
7 years ago
Excuse my ignorance, but what IS the "appropriate button", Coyote? I've been wondering how you do those quotes too.
Tyee editor (not verified)
7 years ago
Alexwh: Appreciate the reminder Alex. We intend to locate and pay the photographer, who was not credited on the Vancouver magazine site.
seanorr
7 years ago
2 Stories: The first occurred lst year on BC day. Mr. Mayencourt had a little BBQ. So i crashed it. I started yelling "Homelessness is not a crime!" and then he came over to me, trembling, face beet red, fuming, "YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG!" (oh what a giveaway, you hear that? you some him repressing me didn't you?) He had to have two of his friends hold him back, to stop him from hitting me (i was hopping so bad that he would).
The next encounter with Lorne was a few weeks ago. I saw him walking down the street in a gucci-style trenchcoat, tanned, sunglasses on, talking on his cell. I asked him cheekily for some change. He kept walking. I asked him again, he turned around and threw a quarter at my head. I ducked.
While it is important to note that i instigated both occurances, it also important to realise that i am not an elected representative, while he is. He can't contain his anger.
DZL
7 years ago
Ok. It is supposed to be satire, but I didn't realize that Mayor Campbell is running in the West End against the little twerp - I thought it was a guy named Tim Stevenson - so gald you set me straight on that.
crh
7 years ago
Now, if someone could invent a fence that 'moves with you', then these guys would be happy as a pig in s..t.
Wonder what kind of human being would have resulted if this guy did not grow up with all advantages of a middle class neighbourhood, cheap education and white skinned male. Not to mention cheap housing. I'm sick of these types thinking that they have it all figured out.Poor people are lazy...blah...blah...blah
seanorr
7 years ago
Can't wait for the police tapes to be released!
stsubscribe
7 years ago
Of course the Mayor is supporting Tim Stevenson..it's a great way to get rid of yet another 'leftie' on the city council.
In fact, I think if he could, Mayor Campbell would encourage all of the COPE members to run for either provincial and federal politics so he could get them the hell off his coattails, and choose a slate of his own making.
Larry's obviously done with the COPE's, and is ready for his own party!
GO LARRY!
marneelarson
7 years ago
I happened to be in Yaletown this past Monday going to interview for a work practicum. I was abit early and decided to take a walk thru this charming upscale neighbourhood. All of a sudden I see a guy ahead of me on the sidewalk yelling up at an office on the otherside of the street.... I continued to walk toward this gentleman, who had to other fellows with him, when all of a sudden I was faced with Lorne Mayencourt himself! He turns to me and introduces himself (I'm NOT impressed and don't really care who you are). I clearly stated that after getting laid off of a 14 year healthcare job that I loved I am firmly a NDP supporter and not changing sides for anything. I've seen nothing but devastation from your ilk and please don't bother me". He wished me well with my side and went on his merry way.... I later ran into him closer down to the Urban Fare store about an hour after I was finished my business in Yaletown. Of course 'big buiness' was shmoozing and shaking hands with him while the rest of us try to figure out how the heck we're going to pay our next Hydro bill, pay for gas for our cars or wonder if we'll get outsed by the Ravline or the Olympic Village & condo complexes. Need I go on about these fools who've beleive their own rhetoric about what a good job they're doing. In solidarity!