Opinion

The Fringe Festival of Democracy

Here are snapshots of some of the smaller parties seeking your vote.

By Tom Hawthorn, 28 Mar 2005, TheTyee.ca

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(Some natural coalition partners may be ascertained. The Work Less, Marijuana and Sex parties may find much common ground. At the very least, just imagine the fun to be had at the founding convention.)

B.C. MARIJUANA PARTY
PROMISE: “The insanity of prohibition must end.” SLOGAN: “Tokers of the world unite.” CLAIM TO FAME: Earned 3.22 per cent of the vote after running a full slate of candidates in 2001.

EMERGED DEMOCRACY PARTY OF B.C.

POLICY: “We must stop the destructive swing left-left-left and then swing right-right-right pattern in B.C. governments.”

TRUE FACT: Only party whose initials (ED) match those of Erectile Dysfunction.

WEIRD ADMISSION: Party has placed “poison pills: in its constitution “should 10,000 ICBC case lawyers join the party and try to hijack our agenda.”

LEADER: Tony Luck of Abbotsford. Good luck.

B.C. CITIZENS ALLIANCE NOW
MOTTO: “Yesterday is history.” POLICY: Premier “should not be allowed to become a dictator.” STAR CANDIDATE: Kaldep (Kal) Gidda of Okanagan Falls manages two vineyards for his brother’s Mt. Boucherie Estate Winery. Hic hic hooray.

CITIZENS ACTION PARTY
SELLING POINT: “A party comprised of new people, not recycled politicians.” BEST CAMPAIGN RHETORIC: Leader William (Bill) Savage of Delta calls Gordon Campbell’s Liberals a “band of brigands.”

B.C. MODERATE DEMOCRATIC MOVEMENT
SELLING POINT: “BC’s only true middle‚ party.” SLOGAN: “Turning me to we is not only essential, it is natural.” BEST CAMPAIGN RHETORIC: With Liberals on the right and NDP on the left, “why keep swinging?” (See Sex Party, above.) BEST IDEA: Free post-secondary education for all citizens. NO-SHIT-SHERLOCK DEPT.: “We believe the way to prosperity is through all of us being prosperous.”

FREEDOM PARTY OF B.C.
PLATFORM: “Free enterprise with a social conscience.” EXPERIENCE: Party leader Kenneth M. Keillor has lost three elections for Abbotsford mayoralty; finished only 11,822 votes behind winning Liberal candidate in Abbotsford-Clayburn in 2001. DOG-ATE-MY-HOMEWORK DEPT.: “Having my life threatened while campaigning for mayor interrupted some of my courses at the University College of the Fraser Valley.” BIOGRAPHY: Keillor is a recording artist and founder of The Punks Inc. “He has been referred to as a ‘phenomenon‚’ and a ‘genius.’ Ken believes in humility...”

PARTY OF CITIZENS WHO HAVE DECIDED TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES AND BE THEIR OWN POLITICIANS
MOTTO: “Th?nk for yourself.” INSPIRATION: Party name inspired by H.L. Mencken aphorism. CLAIM TO FAME: Most unwieldy acronym in politics with POCWHDTTFTABTOP OUTRAGEOUS CHARGE: “Canada is developing its first gestapo under “welfare administrations.”

PEOPLE’S FRONT
INSPIRATION: Follows the Maoist line of the Marxist-Leninist Party of Canada. CONFESSION: “Our hearts throb with the throbbing of the hearts of millions upon millions of workers.” BEST INSULT: George W. Bush is “U.S. imperialist chieftain.”

WESTERN REFEDERATION PARTY
SLOGAN: “Less Ottawa — More B.C.” PROMISE: “To turn the present phony democracy into a true democracy.” UNKNOWN FACT: Leader Dennis Shaw of Nanaimo, a former teacher, has had his writings praised on Zundelsite, the Web home of neo-nazi Ernst Zundel.

WESTERN CANADA CONCEPT
PURPOSE: “Preservation of our Christian culture and European heritage.” CALLS FOR: An independent nation of Western Canada. LEADER: Douglas Christie of Victoria, a lawyer notorious for making “common cause with a small, lunatic anti-Semitic fringe,” according to the Law Society of Upper Canada.

PLATINUM PARTY
FULL NAME: Platinum Party of Employers Who Think and Act to Increase Awareness TRUE CONFESSION: “As an outsider looking in at the operation of the government, it is mind boggling to try and figure it all out!”

ANNEXATION PARTY OF B.C.
POLICY: Province should join the United States as 51st state of the union. WEIRD HISTORICAL OBSESSION: A petition signed by 43 residents in 1869 calling for annexation to United States. TRUE FACT: B.C. would have been the 38th state in 1869 (after Nebraska but before Colorado).

REFORM PARTY OF B.C.
TAKES CREDIT FOR: A fixed election date. PROMISE: “Our party policies come not by rubber-stamping plans hatched in smoke-filled backrooms but from ideas put forward by ordinary members at the constituency level.” HARSH FACT: Some members left to join new Democratic Reform B.C.

WORK LESS PARTY
BEST IDEA: Outlaw unpaid overtime. SALES PITCH: “Help us make the rat-race history.” PROMISE: “You could have a life again.” REALITY SUCKS: “The Work Less Party is not going to win this election.” OVER-THE-TOP RHETORIC: “Gordon Campbell is a 21st Century version of the Reverend Jim Jones. He’s got a big smile, a reassuring manner, and a nice big glass of Kool-Aid for every one of your children.”

In the “where are they now” drawer:

SOCIAL CREDIT
PROMISE: Believes in “special treatment for none and equal opportunities for all.” HARSH FACT: Party history mentions W.A.C. Bennett four times, Bill Vander Zalm twice and Rita Johnson once; former Socreds Rafe Mair, Grace McCarthy and Flyin‚ Phil Gaglardi relegated to dustbin of history.

CONSERVATIVE PARTY
SLOGAN: “Ethos, Logos, Pathos.” WEIRD HISTORICAL FACT: Has not formed government since 1928. UPHILL SLOG: Has not elected an MLA in 25 years. STEEP UPHILL SLOG: Party leader Barry Chilton is homeless since house fire; plans to run in West Kootenay-Boundary while crashing with relatives.

And last but not least:

NONE OF THE ABOVE PARTY OF B.C.
GOOD NEWS: Best name in politics. BAD NEWS: Sal Vetro has a weakness for cliches: “This is a grassroots party of the people, for the people and by the” yadda yadda yadda. [Tyee]

5 Comments:

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  • Nationalist

    6 years ago

    Comments on "The Fringe Festival of Democracy"

    Oh My God No wonder our Province is in such trouble.. and AHAHAHAHA to the ANNEXATION PARTY OF B.C. isn't that the BC Liberals? I wonder if any of Gordos ancestry was one of the 43 residents that signed that paper, or maybe all 43.

    Shit I guess its the B.C. MARIJUANA PARTY
    for me..ha ha ha ha...

  • Nationalist

    6 years ago

    Here it is..AHAHAHAHAHA phew! we came somewhat close to being yankies.

    http://www.collectionscanada.ca/confederation/h18-2955-e.html

    Annexation Movement in British Columbia
    In the late 1860s, British Columbia was the focus of a pro-American annexation movement. Its supporters were primarily Americans, and immigrants of non-British ethnicity who lived in the colony but had no special ties to the British Crown. During this period British Columbia was in the middle of a long recession. The union of the Vancouver Island and British Columbia colonies in 1866 had not eased the situation. There were two obvious alternatives: American annexation or union with Canada.

    Just how close British Columbia ever came to annexation is uncertain. Nevertheless, the debate was fuelled by two important events in 1867: Canadian Confederation, which took place on July 1, and the American purchase of Alaska. Some believed that the Americans would attempt to link their territories along the west coast by claiming British Columbia. There were rumors, apparently false, that negotiations to do so were already underway between the Americans and the British. Newspapers pointed out that the British could have ceded the colony to the United States as payment for the Alabama claim.

    In 1867, the first annexation petition was circulated in Victoria. It was addressed to the Queen and asked either that the British government assume the colony's expenses and debts, and establish a steamer link between the colony and Britain, or that the colony be permitted to join the United States. It is unknown how many signatures the petition gathered, or if indeed the Queen ever received it. Nevertheless, it caught the attention of Governor Frederick Seymour and the Colonial Office, which resolved to promote union with Canada more vigorously.

    In 1869, with the colony's fate still unresolved, a second petition, this one more strongly worded and addressed to the President of the United States, was circulated in Victoria. It was actually circulated twice, gaining just 43 signatures on the first circulation, and another 61 on the second. It was taken to San Francisco by Vincent Collyer, the special Indian Commissioner for Alaska, and presented to President Ulysses S. Grant on December 29, 1869. Although the signatures represented a small fraction of the 5000 people then living in Victoria, the annexation movement gained attention with the petitions, both in British Columbia and abroad. It undoubtedly increased the resolve of those committed to Confederation.

  • Coyote

    6 years ago

    I wouldn't laugh at this Annexation Party entirely too quickly myself. The "wannabes" are out there, amongst our own, typically supporters of "the free market" and "Big Capital" set, and highly likely, we shouldn't fool ourselves, fair numbers of new immigrants, for whom this country was only second choice. (Which is the source of much of the pesky "sneak across" the border traffic.)

    And the former especially, the hardcore "free enterpri$er$" have influence considerably beyond their number$.

  • Nationalist

    6 years ago

    Yes Coyote you are right. but if enough people make them feel un-welcome maybe theses foolish tratiors will find a new venue, i wrote a harsh e-mail to the ANNEXATION PARTY OF B.C.
    telling them "Don't you dare call me a fellow Canadian" as it says on their web site, "It is ONLY meant to be the first step towards bringing about positive change for British Columbia with the help and assistance of fellow Canadians and Americans." I called them tratiors and that they should move to the US.
    I would strongly urge anyone reading this to do the same thing! the more resistance they recive the better. If we flood that party inbox with flame mail they will go running and hiding.. tell them how you feel click here http://www.annexationbc.com/contactus.asp

    anyone that uses a 1869 document signed by a handfull of people as a party platform is a sure sign of mental illness and should maybe see a doctor.

    Elvis is dead and so are the peole who were mostly from elsewhere (not Canada or BC) mostly from the US that signed that petition.

    with a party like that i am glad that the media has some bias and this would be the ONLY time because I doubt if we will hear anything about them on TV, atleast I hope to hell not

  • Korky Day

    6 years ago

    All 46 parties with contact info, platforms, leaders (3 women): elections.bc.ca/reg/political-parties.htm#B. --Korky,

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