Alberta! That's about as good as "going south"!

An excellent and apt extended literary metaphor, Carr lacking brains, Gordon Campbell lacking a heart, and a media manipulated NDP lacking courage. Gordon Campbell will NEVER have a heart, Carr's body would reject a brain, but the NDP (and the Tyee) CAN find the neccesary courage to win the next election. HINT: DON'T LET CANWEST MEDIA PLAY YOU LIKE A VIOLIN, THE WAY THEY DID HARCOURT, AND TO SOME EXTENT CLARK.

I believe that under another persona, I wrote a post along the lines of ripping away the curtain, to reveal the wizard of fraser institute, magical bafflegab behind, a treacherous, cowering little sneak, with a corporate fist up his puppet posterior, but never mind, sure hope the Tyee has the COURAGE to post this...

Good article, insightful and amusing. I look forward to the sputtering, frothing at the mouth responses from the "Tyee irregulars"

To paraphrase JM Barrie's Peter Pan, every time someone says they believe in (half-fast) ferries a little light flickers and dies inside a left-leaning voter... see postings elsewhere on site under views on ferry corp.

What a fun read, with excellent observations. I want more (clever writing, not BC politics).

that was fun. i think dorothy was headed to alberta because the vancouver city council banned toto.

What a great story,I can't quit laughing, well done Will, good for you.

terrific stuff! i can't wait for the sequel - a may 18th release perhaps?

what's so clever? the story was written by a former conservative party consultant. no wonder he sent dorothy to alberta where there has been a conservative dynasty for decades. ralph klein heckles the homeless after having too much to drink and being the ruler of an oil rich province figures he has the right to complain about having to share with the rest of canada. why wasn't there more of a background on the author?

BK - I agree - more clever writing, less politics and less repetitive self-serving comment by "keyboard wankers".

An article that's somewhat critical of the NDP on the Tyee.ca. Has hell frozen over? Mind you he had to criticize all parties in order to pull that one off.

Yes. And don't neglect to read of the TORRID PASSION, between myself and KURT, who has sufferred just TERRIBLY at the hands of the lower orders. Darling Gordon has just read the latest POLLS, the REAL ONES, not those released by Canwest which were so often taken in mostly in West Vancouver anyway and says the May 18 sequel will be entitled: "Kingdom of the Class Action Lawsuits," and laments considerably we have now left "The Planet of the Fraser Institute Cheap Special Effects,"...he has downed yet another picher of martini's and began to sing, "Daddy, I'll be home soon," to the tune of the Loving Spoonfull's "Darling, be home soon..." AND, Dear Gordon has lost his appetite, and is now down to a mere three pichers of martinis a day...Gordon is also VERY DEPRESSED about the RADIO TALK SHOW PHONE IN, and NEXT TIME vows to phone HIMSELF with a PRERECORDED MESSAGE, and tell himself just how wonderful he is..."I never LIKED surprises..." he keeps muttering over and over...Ah, this star-crossed, storm-tossed, ARABESQUE of life that makes my heart to pound like a steamhammmer in my breast...

It is really true that Gordon Campbell has a brain? Come on now!

What I read was another mindless "everybody is the same" pile of crap. The right wingers screw everyone terribly and then come back with this garbage to cover their asses. Why not actually research stories and tell the truth? Oh, thats right, the truth never really does much for the right wing so its much better to just write some fuzzy headed fantasy so you can still get cheap shots in at the individuals who put the people of BC ahead of their own personal fortunes. I'm sure there are many right wingers out there that just can't comprehend of people doing something just because its the correct, moral, thing to do...well, here's a news flash for you....you're wrong! There are many people who give their own time and money away to help the less fortunate at great cost to themselves...apparently you aren't one of them....

Will, I admit your story is somewhat clever, but I really find myself not having a lot of time for the McMartins and Spectors of the world whose position on every political issue is "Everyone is an idiot, except for me! I'm a freakin' genius! Clearly, every single decision not made or influenced by me must be a terrible one!". In your next column, why don't you tell us what you think our politicians ought to be doing so we can judge your political acuum for ourselves.

Thank goodness Toto isn't a pitt bull...

... ...one by one, silently arising from the mists, from the shadows, from the forests, from the ocean itself, till at least there were many...weavers....never before seen...in these lands. ....and then a whisper was heard inside their minds and hearts, a whisper that uttered a simple reminder: ... "the time is soon upon us to weave a new tapestry." ...but in so doing let us remember to cast aside ill-suited threads and colors adopted from foreign lands, strange threads with akward names such as "neo-liberalism", "privatization", "globalization", "ballistic missle defence", and "continental integration." ...let us also cast aside our "habits" of relying upon threads and colours only from the high office of the Premier, his inner cabinet, the offices of big business and big labor. ...Instead let us take our threads and colours from the peoples and regions thusfar excluded from the weaving...and there are many. ....So bring your favourite colours, your fine and coarse threads, your fabrics of differing materials, your creativity, your voice to sing as we weave. ... Together we can all join in. Have no doubt at all. A new tapestry can indeed must be woven in British Columbia.....and you, and you, and you, and I, and we, are the weavers. . ....and that new tapestry will be a fabric that better nurtures all of us, that heals old wounds, that brings us together, that allows us to respect our differences, that makes provision for sustainable balance within this our home. So, who will answer the call to weave this tapestry of homespun threads and multi-colours? --who will stand with me? ...will it be you, and you, and you, and you,.... and you, you, and us ...a new tapestry of greater political and economic democracy, of more equality, of a re-distribution of political power and wealth in this land. Dare to believe it is possible!

Alberta can have her.

Sue; not only brains but balls too.

"Will, I admit your story is somewhat clever, but I really find myself not having a lot of time for the McMartins and Spectors of the world whose position on every political issue is "Everyone is an idiot, except for me! I'm a freakin' genius!" writes Groovypip.

There has to be a serious ideological short circuit here! Heeeelp! I'm agreeing with Groovypippin on something-, that being McMartin and Spector. Their mere mention gives me a creepy feeling.

Somebody has been messing with the fabric of time itself. My confidence level is completely shattered.

That said, a clever, entirely enjoyable, and quite accurate bit of satire here. Uncomfortably accurate in some regards, especially when it came to the part about the Lion. (I'm less sure that Shirley doesn't have any brains, though something is certainly missing there. Hmmm. On second thought...) Campbell, of course, was too easy to nail down, I would think.

And then, of course, there is Peter Dimitrov, who is one of those with whom I seem to always agree. A good little piece of your own writing, brother. And Moodie Susanah, who can be quite a good satirical humourist in her own right.

A fun piece and a fun comments thread to read.

Now if only you would write something that I could agree with.... Just bash someone on the left and we'll call it even.

Whassa matter , groovey pimpin' the thrill of your tainted tax cut wearing thin? Here's a good and accurate criticism of the left: it sometimes makes mistakes, but generallly has good intentions. And NOW, for an accurate and fair criticism of the right: The right has the blood of millions on their hands, will lie about anything, and basically NEEDS TO BE SUED FOR ITS LAST DIME!! THERE you go! And while gordon Campbell has "brains," unforyunately they're lodged up his ass. What part of Gordon Campbell's "courage" impressed you the most, Mr Irwin, his fearlessness in attacking little old ladies, or his manly assaults on disabled children, and inner school children?? Speak up, Mr Irwin, be A MAN for once in your life!!

Wanna go shopping, groovy pimpin'...?

huh?? this is tawdry satire, at best. Dressed like a cheesecake it's actually all cheese ... McMuffin could've served up a real article that discussed and illuminated the leader's foibles and vulnerabilities in ways that even they might have benefitted from. Instead we got grade 9-level drivel. Next time, do us all a favour and check out the real masters of satire like Mencken, Orwell, Swift, and even Fotheringham before foisting your puerile thoughts on us.

Lewis Swift thanks you for the compliment. Mr McMartin has crafted an EXCEllENT and apt, extended literary metaphor, one that details accurately the political situation in BC. If YOU think it's so puerile, POST YOUR OWN. You won't because you lack both the capacity and the intelligence. The only criticism I would offer is that the NDP needs only find A LITTLE BIT MORE COURAGE and we can win the next election, for unlike campbell we do have hearts and we've already shown we have SOME courage, we just need a little more...

I'm clicking my heels and saying to my self, "their's no place like home" but its not working the tin man is still chopping the trees and the lion is hiding in the trees and the scarecrow still has no brains.. "HELP ME TOTO!" I don't think we're in BC anymore, it seems more like rightwinged redneck Alberta or even worse it could be the evil kingdom of bush..

When is the article on Vinn Prenning (sp?) coming to the tyee? CBC pundits note that this act of TERMINAL STUPITY will cost the BC LIARS thousands of votes from ethnic communities in over 20 CRITICAL RIDINGS IN BC, CBC ONLINE SEEMS TO HAVE KILLED THIS STORY ALREADY...POLITICAL PRESSURE??

Now here we have McMartin making the naive assumption that some of the pinkos are able to find humour in politics (and/or life). Geez, Will, you know they want only agony, misery, recitations of bitterness, anger and horror. For God's sake humour them (?) with a few anecdotes of underdog repression and maybe some trivia about the horrid right (hey, you can mention the Fraser Institute) so that they find something of merit in your musings and thus will perhaps spare us their propensity to rant-by-rote.

There, there, mr carlos, SLEEP NOW, Gord LOVES you, and all the NASTY things he's going to do to YOU if he get's relected, (unless you're in the wealthiest 5%) are for your own gooddddduuuuuuhhhhhhh....

Bud, you are totally wrong about the left's sense of humour. We get a good laugh when we read the nonsense that you write about progressives. It is usually the extreme right wing, such as yourself, who lack a sense of humour. Look up "authoritarian personality" and you will find yourself there.

I think this would have made for a better analogy if you had the media portrayed as the flying monkeys that swoop in and hurl feces at anyone travelling down the election campaign trail.

Heh, heh...

Will, An interesting piece. To push the analogy, Who is the Wicked Witch of the east? Ottawa, no doubt. Who is the great Oz? Your readers think the Fraser Institute. Do you? What are the ruby slippers that bring Dorothy back to Kansas? Electoral reform a la Gordon Gibson. Who is auntie 'Em and uncle Clem? Social Credit? There were 12 Oz books in all. Plenty of material left to mine, metaphorically speaking. O-wee-O