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Hockey Playoff Gods Are Jokers
So Edmonton beats Detroit. Naturally.
Who can understand the NHL playoffs? Nobody. Anybody who says different must produce an accurate pre-playoff prediction that the Oilers would beat Detroit. Otherwise, shut up.
When the playoffs begin, logic dies. Events are now controlled by the God of Fun. Sacrifice a goat and a cow, for a mighty god is he. He maketh the weak victorious; his servant Moses McTavish doth part the Red Wings. It's loopy.
The Oilers-Red Wings series didn't even make sense semiotically. It's easy to understand why the Ottawa Senators would battle the Tampa Bay Lightning-politicians and lightning are sworn enemies. Senators work constantly to defeat the forces of speed and illumination (and once more, victory is theirs). But why would Detroit wheels and Alberta petroleum products conflict? They're natural allies. Why wouldn't they work together against, say, the animal kingdom? Together they could make Buffalo extinct.
Where's my zipper?
Anyway, it wasn't supposed to be a fair fight. Detroit-best team in the league over the regular season. Edmonton-not even very good down the stretch. They made the final playoff spot because their main competitors for the prize were the Vancouver Canucks. It was like a race between two passed-out drunks to see who would wake up and put his pants on first. Edmonton put theirs on backwards and spent two weeks searching in vain for the zipper, good enough to win in this case, since the other guy turned out to be something worse than asleep. People have now begun saying that Edmonton had the advantage of playing meaningful games down the stretch, while Detroit was in cruise control, locked into a cozy conference lead. But Vancouver played both teams late in the season. Detroit looked stronger.
At the deadline, Edmonton traded for goalie Dwayne Roloson, who subsequently put together a two-month stretch reminiscent of the French army in Spring 1940. Drop the puck for the second season and voila-Roloson becomes Dominik Hasek without the hypochondria. (Actually, Canuck fans always knew Roloson could stone a team-with Minnesota, he used to be a real nemesis for Vancouver. Then again, they hand out Canucks' Nemesis Awards like "Participant" badges at a high school track meet.)
Round One fun
I am among those fans who believe Round One is the peak of NHL playoff fun. Such a smorgasbord of teams and styles, such a long tradition of topsy-turvy. As the playoffs go on, it begins to look like a death march. Unless your own beloved warriors are involved, maintaining interest gets tougher. Hockey in June always seems off. It's in late April and early May that the chase still seems fresh and fun. Especially when stuff like this happens-eighth-seeded Edmonton over top-seeded Detroit in six games. The price of Oil is soaring, all right.
How does it happen? How does Detroit suddenly stop being Detroit? How does Edmonton erase scientific evidence gathered over 82 games? I wasn't surprised when underdog Colorado defeated overdog Dallas. The Avalanche have Joe Sakic and an intangible playoff tradition of grit and fire. But Detroit has Steve Yzerman. And Chris Chelios. Old guys, sure, but they had younger talent, too. I did not see a single pundit who picked Edmonton over Detroit. You'd have to be a chimp with darts to make that call.
Bring on the chimps. This is their season.
Steve Burgess is the Tyee's critic at large and that includes sports. ![[Tyee]](http://thetyee.cachefly.net/ui/img/ico_fishie.png){kind=small}
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deeby
6 years ago
Comments on "Hockey Playoff Gods Are Jokers"
Assuming the Hockey Gods don't pull a fast one and hand the victory to Anaheim, the Battle of Alberta is looming.
That will be at least as much fun as anything in round one. Almost worth a road trip, regardless of which team one supports.... :-)
Gerhardius
6 years ago
All due respect to the author, but the series showed three things:
1) Detroit 06 is not Detroit 02
2) The Central Division is weak
3) Seeding based upon results of an uneven schedule creates upsets more apparent than real.
Throw in the fact that the Northwest Division is the only division where all the teams finished over .500 (at least points wise) and a clearer picture emerges. Every team in the Northwest Division scored more goals than they allowed, the bottom three in the Central were a combined -225 in goal difference. Detroit played over 25% of their season against the three worst teams in the Western Conference! Ignoring OT for the moment, Detroit lost 3 games out of 32 against divisional opponents and lost 13 games out of 50 outside the division. Edmonton had 15 losses in 32 Northwestern games and 13 losses outside the division. Edmonton had 12 more losses overall than Detroit (28 to 16) and they can all be accounted for in the Northwest Division. Edmonton had to play better teams on a regular basis and did just as well as Detroit against the rest of the league. This is not as much of an upset as 1v8 implies.
Detroit had team and player stats padded due to divisional weakness. This does not show up when one takes only a cursory glance at the numbers. I am amazed at how many of the so-called experts failed to mention the advantages Detroit had playing 1/4 of the season against the 3 worst teams in the Western Conference, and didn't take into account much beyond 124 points versus 95. I did pick Edmonton over Detroit, but I also picked Tampa over Ottawa so what the heck do I know?
Frank
6 years ago
That's a good point.
I may get tomatoes thrown at me but I'm cheering for the Ducks tomorrow night to beat the Flames.
Jack's
6 years ago
I believe the Canucks lost a very good man in Burke. He's not only a general manager but an excellent second coach on any team - even though he has never played the game seriously.
Excellent analyser...
I, too, am picking the Ducks over Calgary.
cosmo
6 years ago
I disagree with you about Burke, Jack. I think that he, Pat Quinn, and Marc Crawford are peas of the same pod.
I am hoping a movement will start to get Ted Nolan as the next Canucks coach. He's back in Hockey, and immediately brought his team to the best record (52 and 15) in the Quebec Major Junior League.
Gerhardius
6 years ago
Nolan is a good coach, although he did have Hasek as his goalie during his Buffalo days. Nonis might be nervous about hiring a guy with a rep as a problem for the GM. Similar reasoning can be used against Pat Quinn returning as coach. This is Nonis' chance to save himself from unemployment: if he picks the right coach his job is safe. The right coach has to win, get the team to the playoffs, and not be trying to get Nonis out of the job. If Nonis hires a coach from the minors, or gives an NHL assistant his first head coaching job, he can expect more loyalty than from an established NHL personality.
Salishsea
6 years ago
Brilliant analysis of the playoff race. the only guys I know who picked Edmonton in 6 was my four year old nephew.
**redfaces all round**
cmcl14
6 years ago
I actually know a lot of people who were predicting the Oilers for precisely the reasons mentioned by some other commenters. The Oilers are a much better team than they played for some of the season, especially when Chris Pronger plays like the Norris-winning defenceman he is. Playing an entire season against Colorado, Calgary and Vancouver will do a lot of good for a team.
dangrice.com
6 years ago
Someone take Sports out of Steve Burgess profile quickly. Surely there must be some 3rd world country we can send him to before the final rounds. (Hopefully someplace without Satellite TV)
I swear chimps with pens could give us a better breakdown of the series. At least they would take it lighter on the analogies and maybe even have noticed that edmonton and detroit split the regular season and one of Detroits wins came via a shootout, which the playoffs don't provide the luzury of.
dude
6 years ago
I totally agree with the above comment. If the Tyee is going to do sports get someone who knows something about the game.
Burgess is just doing tiresome schtick which
shows only contempt for the fan and the game.
Shane
6 years ago
Keep Burgess. Lose the reader comments.
IAMC
6 years ago
Obviously I expect all Tyee regulars to support the Alberta teams left in the NHL playoffs. Or, on second thought, is it politically correct to support teams from a far right wing, selfish, oil refining, bible thumping , polluting, evil Province like Alberta ?
Edmonton vs Calgary. What a Canadian dream.
deeby
6 years ago
It's no more politically incorrect than supporting spoiled-brat millionaire hockey players, managers, owners, and their corporate masters in general.
So...putting all that aside, (as I do whenever I turn on a game), why not cheer for that matchup. It'll be some of the most exciting hockey we'll see in this year's playoffs.
Steve Burgess
6 years ago
So maybe the God of Fun isn't the ruling deity after all. Maybe it's Brian Burke.
dude
6 years ago
okay experts. Who is going to win the Stanley Cup -and why?
IAMC
6 years ago
In the West we have the underdogs advancing. Detroit, Dallas, Calgary and Nashville are out.
Edmonton, Colorado, Anaheim and San Hose are in.
In the east we have Ottawa, New Jersey, Buffalo and Carolina in. The top teams from the east vs. the bottom teams from the west.
I'm an Oiler fan , we have to beat San Jose.
It's not going to be easy. But if the Oilers win, they will advance to a contest against either Colorado or Anaheim.
There are so many possibilities yet to come.
dangrice.com
6 years ago
IAMC.. Lets all cheer for Landslide McLellan...
G West
6 years ago
Too bad Calgary is out. Letting them go deep in the playoffs is an effective way of helping ALberta citizens deal with their inferiority complex - they still have the Oilers of course but somehow that just makes your average Calgarian mad.
Frank
6 years ago
San Jose over Edmonton in 5. I want to say 4 because I can't see Edmonton winning one but what the hell.
Ducks over the Avs in 6.
New Jersey over Carolina in 5. I'd pick Carolina if it wasn't for Brodeur.
Ottawa over Buffalo in 7 but really I could just as easily pick the Sabres.
Geez I'm glad the Flames got toasted.
G West
6 years ago
Between you and I Frank, I am too...they played really ugly hockey.
I agree about the Sharks and the Oilers although I think Edmonton might actually win 2 games.
Ducks should win easily as long as they can score more than 2 goals a game - I'm a little doubtful about their goalkeeping.
I think Carolina could beat New Jersey. I really liked the Montreal/Carolina games and was impressed with Carolina. I think NJ is about ready for a little letdown - they've been pretty hot for a long time.
Same feeling about Buffalo so I'm picking Ottawa.