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The Sultan, the Czar, and a Song Still True
If citizens of our age need a scathing anthem, here's one from 1927.
Frank Crumit: An anti-war singer of his day.
2012 bids fair to being a year of violence, which makes me think of Peter, Paul and Mary, Joan Baez and other chroniclers of the '60s who eloquently and effectively wrote the anthems to which the peace movement marched.
This revolt against the government seemed to many of us to be a novel undertaking. We grew up when the government was the embodiment of the national interest. Songs should be like the Second World War songs, which glorified war and were mostly love songs. The First World War songs were the same, only more jingoistic.
But the anthems of the turbulent '60s weren't the first to parody the times. There was an earlier song which spoke of the ridiculousness of the issues that divide us into camps of war. I'll get to that momentarily.
I have often thought and spoken about violence and war, and it seems to me when you can't even get a village to pass a dog bylaw everyone can live with, how can we expect countries to agree on issues that divide them?
When I was a boy I had a gramophone record -- kids, ask your grandparents about records -- put out by RCA Victor by Frank Crumit and sung in 1927 called Abdul Abulbul Amir.
This was before my time! The reverse side (ask your grandparents again) was Frankie and Johnny. Hear the 1927 version and you will hear a great parody on human beings' inherent dislike of peace.
Here it is as sung by Crumit:
The sons of the Prophet are brave men and bold
And quite unaccustomed to fear,
But the bravest by far in the ranks of the Shah,
Was Abdul Abulbul Amir.
Now the heroes were plenty and well known to fame
In the troops that were led by the Czar,
And the bravest of these was a man by the name
Of Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
One day this bold Russian, he shouldered his gun And donned his most truculent sneer, Downtown he did go where he trod on the toe Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
Young man, quoth Abdul, has life grown so dull That you wish to end your career? Vile infidel, know, you have trod on the toe Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
So take your last look at the sunshine and brook And send your regrets to the Czar For by this I imply, you are going to die, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
Then this bold Mameluke drew his trusty skibouk, Singing, "Allah! Il Allah! Al-lah!" And with murderous intent he ferociously went For Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
They fought all that night neath the pale yellow moon; The din, it was heard from afar, And huge multitudes came, so great was the fame, Of Abdul and Ivan Skavar.
As Abdul's long knife was extracting the life, In fact he was shouting, "Huzzah!" He felt himself struck by that wily Calmuck, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
The Sultan drove by in his red-breasted fly, Expecting the victor to cheer, But he only drew nigh to hear the last sigh, Of Abdul Abulbul Amir.
Czar Petrovich, too, in his spectacles blue Rode up in his new crested car. He arrived just in time to exchange a last line With Ivan Skavinsky Skivar.
There's a tomb rises up where the Blue Danube rolls, Engraved there in characters clear, Is, "Stranger, when passing, oh pray for the soul Of Abdul Abulbul Amir."
A Muscovite maiden her lone vigil keeps, 'Neath the light of the cold northern star, And the name that she murmurs in vain as she weeps, Is Ivan Skavinsky Skavar.
I saw this as just a funny ditty until earlier this year when, for some unknown reason, I remembered the song and picked it up for 99 cents from my iTunes library and actually listened to it.
It was a timeless parody of man's inhumanity to man. Today, the Sultan and the Czar live, and Abduls and Ivans abound.
We're all Abduls and Ivans
2011 has been the year the world has been shaken by the Occupy movement, and unable to understand how a movement could be so successful without a leader or expressed purpose. It has polarized communities that see these young people as hippies and druggies who create a nuisance -- which they do to attract attention, and it has worked brilliantly.
History teaches us that when there is a huge gap between the minority that has everything and the majority that has virtually nothing, bad things happen. And we would be fools to think that what's happening today will go away.
We in the comfy West who have "made it" manage to believe anything that sounds reassuring. We refuse to connect any dots, even though the Arab Spring has connections to the economic positions of the one per cent in that region -- in addition to their very real other grievances.
What is also a joinable dot is the political disconnect between the 99 per cent and the governments owned by the one per cent.
Then there's a dot for the mainstream media which, supinely or maliciously or both, leaves the one per cent alone. It's the same dot that sees the world's mainstream media without a social presence, on the side of large corporations, and the establishment who run everything for their own benefit. It is not just what they print or broadcast, but often what they don't say.
The consequence of this capitulation of the media to Mammon, the purchase of government by corporations and the world being governed and informed by the boardroom is that folks generally "tune out." The public knows it's being lied to by corporations and government, but who's telling the truth?
What's this got to do with Abdul Abulbul Amir and Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar?
The arrival of the Sultan and the Czar to cheer on their gladiators is symbolic of us accepting, uncritically, the doctrines we adhere to without caring very much about what they mean. Even though we know that governments and their corporate rulers are full of crap, we fight for our leaders because we don't know any better. If we never darken the door of a church, we as part of the Judeo-Christian community accept the traditional certainty that our cultures and traditions are better than anyone else's. Not only do we believe in this, we will take up arms against the foe whomever he may be (a few bars of Onward Christian Soldiers, please!) when one of them trods on our toe.
The other guys, we're reliably informed, might have been smart 500 years ago, but they're still fighting the Crusades, suppressing their women and killing infidels that tread on any of their faithful toes.
I remember hearing the words of a well-educated Egyptian woman interviewed when Palestinians were hijacking planes. She was asked how she could justify these atrocities.
She spat back saying: "You who slaughtered millions of men in trenches for a few acres of land, routinely bombed innocent civilians and dropped a bomb each on two cities and killed 150,000 people, and you have the gall to accuse me of supporting terrorism?"
The thought flashed through the mind that the lady could be right -- it all has to do with whose ox is being gored.
We are indeed like Abdul and Ivan. We accept, uncritically, what Big Brother tells us, and will draw from our holsters whenever we're challenged.
Ah, Rafe, I'll be told, 9-11 was no mere trodding on the toe!
No, it was not. But then neither was the Iraq-Iran war that had probably one million killed and wounded, with Iraq being funded by the U.S.
There is no purpose served by tossing atrocities back and forth. Moreover, there is more than one Czar and one Sultan involved, more than one Abdul and Ivan.
The point is this. When the only information and leadership comes from corporation boardrooms or from mosques, pulpits or from any similar location, we the people will find it very difficult to find a dog bylaw we can all live with or, at the highest levels, a way to behave rationally when our toe is trod on.
On all sides of the chasms that divide the cultures and nations, there is no shortage of Abduls and Ivans prepared to gamble the very life of this planet by spending their lives looking for trodden toes or insults to justify the drawing of the sword from its scabbard.
[Tags: Politics.] ![]()




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Okanagan Orchardist
25 weeks ago
Very well said, Rafe...
Wisdom comes with age, and you have aged well.
Congratulations on your 80th birthday. Many more such.
Lawrence
25 weeks ago
Another excellent article
The Iran Iraq war. wasn't that the one where the US got the guy they put in power old Saddam whats-his-face, to attack Iran.
Oh yeah, I remember now, they were punishing the Iranians for throwing the US sponsored Shaw, his secret police, and the CIA out of the country.
That worked well, millions were killed hundreds of thousands of orphans were created.
Then old George Bush invades Iraq an hangs their former buddy Saddam .
In the process they created 500,000 more orphans.
Half a million brand new broken hearts.
I see where the Swiss told Bush that if he set foot in their country, they would charge him with war crimes
Their government is moral, and ours is what exactly?
alive
25 weeks ago
Also:
The anti-war movement traces back much further:
One of the earliest silent movies portrayed how war happened because weapon manufacturers kept prodding opposing parties to start an offensive.
The feature ended showing a bomb exploding and the sky filling with ---flowers!
Guess a hope that smarter people would send love instead of hate?
Yeah, that was a long time ago and we still await that smarter humanity, and still have greedy business people.
hellebore7
25 weeks ago
Great article...keep 'em
Great article...keep 'em coming Raif! You are so right about our collective failure at 'connecting the dots', and we need to bridge those cultural gaps by actually connecting and finding common values and aspirations, such as a healthy peaceful planet for the next generations...
Skywalker
25 weeks ago
Thanks Rafe.
Reminds me of the movie Snow Falling On Cedars and the scene with the old lawyer Nels Gudmunson played by Max von Sydow in the scene where he talks about seeing the issue with the the clarity that come with approaching the end of one's life. Excellent column!
Gerry Warner
25 weeks ago
War and such
Well done, Rafe. Reminds me of my favorite war aphoroism: "In war, the first casualty is truth," which was supposedly said the first time by former U.S. Senator Hiram Johnson during World War I and who ironically died Aug. 6, 1945, the day the U.S. dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima.
straightshooter
25 weeks ago
War is a racket
Hi Rafe
Great column. It's wonderful that even as an elder, you are in the forefront of the new age.
Bravo and belated happy birthday!!!
Don Grayston
25 weeks ago
The Sultan and the Czar
Rafe - thanks for the great poem, which I had run across myself years ago. And here's another, "After Blenheim," by Robert Southey, 19th-C British poet. When will we ever learn?
After Blenheim
It was a summer evening,
Old Kaspar's work was done,
And he before his cottage door
Was sitting in the sun,
And by him sported on the green
His little grandchild Wilhelmine.
She saw her brother Peterkin
Roll something large and round,
Which he beside the rivulet
In playing there had found;
He came to ask what he had found,
That was so large, and smooth, and round.
Old Kaspar took it from the boy,
Who stood expectant by;
And then the old man shook his head,
And, with a natural sigh,
''Tis some poor fellow's skull,' said he,
'Who fell in the great victory.
'I find them in the garden,
For there's many here about;
And often when I go to plough,
The ploughshare turns them out!
For many thousand men,' said he,
'Were slain in that great victory.'
'Now tell us what 'twas all about,'
Young Peterkin, he cries;
And little Wilhelmine looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes;
'Now tell us all about the war,
And what they fought each other for.'
'It was the English,' Kaspar cried,
'Who put the French to rout;
But what they fought each other for,
I could not well make out;
But everybody said,' quoth he,
'That 'twas a famous victory.
'My father lived at Blenheim then,
Yon little stream hard by;
They burnt his dwelling to the ground,
And he was forced to fly;
So with his wife and child he fled,
Nor had he where to rest his head.
'With fire and sword the country round
Was wasted far and wide,
And many a childing mother then,
And new-born baby died;
But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous victory.
'They say it was a shocking sight
After the field was won;
For many thousand bodies here
Lay rotting in the sun;
But things like that, you know, must be
After a famous victory.
'Great praise the Duke of Marlbro' won,
And our good Prince Eugene.'
'Why, 'twas a very wicked thing!'
Said little Wilhelmine.
'Nay… nay… my little girl,' quoth he,
'It was a famous victory.
'And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great fight did win.'
'But what good came of it at last?'
Quoth little Peterkin.
'Why that I cannot tell,' said he,
'But 'twas a famous victory.'
linedriver
25 weeks ago
Abdul & Ivan
Wow, I have not encountered that song in 50+ years ! When I was a young lad my aunt played the gramophone record for me . I found it quite fascinating and at that age couldn't understand why after sitting through what was for its time an extended cut, nobody won the titanic battle.
I don't know if the composer intended the allegory which you have described, but you've made an interesting case and brought back a long forgotten memory. L.Musser
Gerry Warner
25 weeks ago
War and such
Good work Rafe. Reminds me of my favorite war aphorism: "In war, truth is the first casualty." Said during World War I by a U.S. senator that died on the day the Americans dropped the first atomic bomb on Hiroshima. Now there's irony for you.
Skywalker
25 weeks ago
By the way.
You can hear the recording by Frank Crumit on Youtube.
Art the Green
25 weeks ago
i have come into the world to see this
I have come into this world to see this:
the sword drop from men's hands
even at the height of
their arc of
rage
because we have finally realized
there is just one flesh
we can wound.
also lore sang the abdul song to himself when he stole data's emotion chip from dr soong on an episode of star trek the next generation... which was called 'brothers'
OwlRol
25 weeks ago
Blinkered
Happy birthday Rafe, and I know you had a good one. Amazing change from 40 years ago, all for the better.
More recent, but got to love Buffy's 60s "Universal Soldier" song in most of its YouTube incarnations.
Never forgot years ago, a discussion with born again types, in which I mentioned how every battle leader incurred the "god on our side" motivation speech. No anger or profanities on my part, but I had to leave before getting punched out. Surely blinkered.
On the battlefield one can be "blinded by the light" before it winks out.
igbymac
25 weeks ago
Hate the wars, but idolize the warriors
Enough said.
elmer kabush
24 weeks ago
re the folly of war
I went to high school and through SFU and learn a thing or two about
history but being young and inexperienced I didn't really understand
the horror and meaning of war. I remember my parents saying
simply put the fighting leaders of warring parties into a boxing ring
and give them clubs to fight it out but leave the working people
of the world out of it. That still seems like pretty good advice to me.
Rafe Mair is a man who cares about humanity. I am glad to have
read some of his thoughts.