Revised Funding Model for Tyee

Three years ago we at The Tyee were excited to unveil a new funding model for independent journalism that we believed was sure fire. The plan was to incorporate mentions of products and services into news stories, charging "product placement associates" significant fees in order to have their brands slipped into our reports. How was this supposed to work? We offered this example:

"Mayor Sam Sullivan's 'ecodensity' concept has drawn intense criticism from some community activists. While no one disputes that density is positive when it involves the densely packed, mouth-watering chocolate chips in every muffin at Schwartz Brothers' Bakery, community planners are not convinced that Sullivan's plan is a good one."

We called it our "Enhanced News Concept" -- not as pithy a prescription for reinventing journalism as, say, "Post-Media" but, then, we didn't have the big bucks to hire professional namers of new paradigms as did the people who took over CanWest.

To cut to the chase... it didn't work. Pretty much everyone we approached was worried their brand might be named in a story that proved a poor "advertising environment" (as professional namers of new paradigms term journalism these days). We had a baby buggy maker on the hook, but they wanted us to assure we wouldn't ever run stories mentioning that babies cry. We had a grocer ready to go, but they wanted us to sign a waiver assuring we'd never acknowledge the fact that fruit can go mealy. Too much paperwork, too many lawyers, we couldn't make a go of it.

So we went back to the drawing board on how to save journalism, and now we're pretty sure we've done it.

Show that you care, please, by celebrating Christmas one week later.

Here's how it works.

Master the workings of Excel or any other basic spreadsheet software program.

Enter into the spreadsheet every present you intend to buy for family and friends, each with its price as of Dec. 15.

Announce to all that you are saving journalism by celebrating Christmas one week later.

On Christmas, watch old movies and eat Chinese food, or whatever. Just don't have Christmas.

On Boxing Day buy all the presents you've entered into your spreadsheet. Note the cost savings you have accrued by purchasing them after Christmas.

Three days after Christmas, begin scavenging back alleys for tossed out (yet still serviceably green) Christmas trees. Bring one home and set it up. Add that $70 savings to the amount of Christmas savings you've already achieved. Any savings derived from re-gifting should be folded into the total as well.

Celebrate Christmas on Jan. 1.

Make out a cheque for the amount saved on Christmas by celebrating it one week late, and send it to The Tyee, thus saving journalism.

We're confident this will work, but of course we won't know until around the first or second week of January. Until then, talk it up! Then send those festive cheques.