Mediacheck

Can I Cut off CNN?

I'm trying. But is a war a war without a theme song?

By Elaine Corden, 11 Jan 2007, TheTyee.ca

Anderson Cooper and Evan Solomon

Sexy Anderson, solemn Evan

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2007 is the year I give up junk news. It's terribly gauche to admit that I am still in the midst of a full-blown CNN addiction, buttressing my television consumption with websites and e-mailed updates. Like a new gym membership, already gathering dust, this New Year's resolution to quit hasn't quite kicked in. Though I know it's bad for me, and I know it's warped beyond all repair, I can sit easily for hours, waiting to see if the miners get out alive, how Trump has insulted O'Donnell again or how many troops were led to the slaughter in Iraq on any given day. It's a sickness, I know; so bad, that at this point, I'm just glad the CRTC won't let Fox News sink its ugly talons into me.

So yes, 2007 is the year I give up junk news and watch the homegrown stuff, whether it be the network my tax dollars pay for, the dignified if austere CBC Newsworld -- or the poor cousins of American news, CTV and Global.

But though I like Canuck news more (largely because it acknowledges the presence of a world outside our borders, and almost never indulges in yellow journalism) it takes some adjustment to come back home. Withdrawing from the horrors of cable news has taught me that, as ignoble as it surely is, I have a dependency. It's partly the format and partly the anchors. And now, I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms: how do I know Gerald Ford is really dead if there's no spinning graphic and live funeral coverage? Is a war a war without a theme song? How do I interpret news as good or bad when there is virtually no spin at all? All of a sudden, it's as if I'm supposed to think for myself.

Barking heads

On American 24-hour news networks, with their never-ending flashing graphics, breaking stories and general air of Pavlovian frenzy, the anchor reigns supreme. Amidst the circus environment that pervades Fox, CNN and CNBC, the anchor's constancy and weight is all that stops the viewers' heads from spinning right off into the stratosphere -- overwhelmed as we are with information that is all treated with equal import and pomp, whether it be a kitty in a tree or an insurgency in Afghanistan. There may be 10 demanding pieces of information on the screen (usually a ticker, a sidebar, the time and weather, the stocks, a station id, a "Breaking News" graphic, another flashing "Chaos in the Middle East!!!" logo, the actual headline, a "live" indicator, and perhaps the anchor's name), but the face in the middle, whether it be crotchety Jack Cafferty, or the impossibly named Wolf Blitzer, is the only familiar element.

U.S. anchors can also seduce the viewer with a sheer force of numbers. Morning news has always been a little more frenzied that its evening counterpart, but, of late, networks seem to be ramping these up too, opting for a beast with many heads. The result is a multi-anchor extravaganza, which is both dizzying and dazzling. Amongst its impressive cavalry, CNN's Headline News now has two identical redheaded female anchors, Heidi Collins and Kyra Phillips, and two indistinguishable male anchors, Don Lemon and TJ Holmes, who I thought were the same person for a whole year.

Add to this chief correspondents, experts and random heads whose relationships to the program are never explained, and you've got quite the show. The more the merrier, the policy seems to be, and the number of "anchors" almost outnumbers the news stories. If it's a slow day or a busy day in the world, the pace is the same: the news is the news. Though CBC, and privately owned Canadian morning news broadcasts, such as our local Breakfast Television and CTV's Canada AM, duplicate this format to some extent, there is none of the "infinite army of reporters" element that cable news stations boast.

Stoic or sexy?

In the evening, the differences between American and Canadian news are even more sharply drawn. Canadians tune in to bland Lloyd Robertson, stoic Sandy Rinaldo or Ian Hanomansing and his shockingly white teeth; each of them is fairly stiff, whereas the evening news anchors on American cable news each have a cult of personality, a recognizable brand and moral stance that is shockingly simple to dial into.

As Stephen Colbert's parody so cleverly satirizes, U.S. cable news anchors don't just deliver the news, they feel it. Whereas even the most folksy Canadian anchor, such as sweet, sympathetic, Fargo-esque (and some might say saccharine) Deborra Hope might occasionally furrow her brow at a political scandal, over on CNN, yapping heads regularly editorialize and proffer their extreme worldviews on every topic. Lou Dobbs defends the middle class from Mexicans who want to steal American's theoretical jobs mopping 7-Elevens. Handsome Anderson Cooper delivers sad, serious news, then cuddles you afterwards. Nancy Grace, my personal favourite, redefines shrewish indignity at the criminal classes, mustering up all her righteousness before asking the mother of a slain teenager the most inappropriately intrusive questions imaginable.

Say what you want about how Canadian news is broader in scope and more balanced in perspective -- but it's just not as neon-light sexy as cable news. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But still, Evan Solomon, intriguing and charming in his own bookish, understated way, is no A-Coop. And Kevin Newman, the so-unimposing-I-had-to-Google-him Global National anchor is no Lou Dobbs. George Stroumboulopoulos may be the closest thing we have to a full-blown talking head, but frankly, everyone and their dog knows that Strombo, for all his talk of national interest, is on the next viable train to Hollywood that happens by. The sexiest news anchor we ever had was leopard print aficionado Pamela Wallin, who ran off to join the circus in New York at the earliest opportunity. Even she, the catwoman of CBC, held back when she was in the anchor's chair, not revealing the full extent of her quirky charm until well after she'd cashed her last Ceeb paycheque.

Evan or Anderson?

Canadian news, to use a tired metaphor, is the lover who calls when he says he will and showers you with love. Cable news is the sexy-but-bad-for-you boyfriend who treats you mean, and stretches the truth into truthiness, but has a [news] chopper and a devastatingly seductive allure. Switching back to homegrown news, in my own effort to appreciate what's good for me, has been like finally giving the bad-boy the boot.

To be frank, I sometimes miss it. I miss headlines with exclamation points and news that interrupts news and experts for everything. I miss ridiculously overwrought anchors who, like, really care about me. Getting my attention span back for Avi and Lloyd would be easier if they were just a bit more charismatic in their delivery or the whole affair was a little more forward thinking instead of weighted down by outdated tradition.

While the Canadian national character abhors flash and dazzle, and there are factions of our society that prefer everything be understated, the fact is, for me, turning from the hoopla of overblown news to an underfunded, solemn channel like CBC Newsworld has felt, sadly, like a chore. It may be more respectable, reliable news, but the staid, '50s-era model of the humble pie anchors is hardly viable to anyone who wasn't alive in the '50s.

And while I by no means advocate that our national broadcasters turn the news into a three-ring circus, it's worthwhile to remember that they are competing in a market where the circus is most definitely in town. Surely there is a third way, between the fire-eaters on Fox and the oatmeal hucksters here at home -- it's sad to think that real, trustworthy news can't be presented in a more engaging format.

For now, I will keep weaning myself off the news beast and try to limit my watching only to certain times of day. Like, say, when I'm at that new gym. I'll be over my addiction in no time.

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[Tyee]

Elaine Corden writes a monthly pop culture column for The Tyee.

18 Comments:

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  • seanorr

    5 years ago

    funny

    Hey funny how you just saw me at the store hiding my copy of The Province as though it were pornography. Actually, porn would be less embarrassing.

  • James Burns

    5 years ago

    Ugh

    Frankly, I don't understand why anyone would waste their time watching CNN or Fox. The internet provides vastly better information than TV news reports. I can access a huge variety of information and opinion, including news reports from sources local to whatever news story I'm interested in. And video footage is usually easily available for many stories now.

    The only thing I can come up with for why people watch TV news is that they want entertainment. And judging from the comments of the author of the article, it is entertainment that she is primarily interested in. Maybe pretending she is "informing" herself assuages some of the guilt she feels for watching garbage.

  • nightbloom

    5 years ago

    I agree - In fact, I've done

    I agree - In fact, I've done away with television altogether for exactly that reason (and a few others).

    What is it with pixie-faced boy-men as news icons anyway--?? I don't get it. Anderson is not sexy, girls. Maaaybe cute in a generic asexual android-esque kinda way, but definitely not sexy. Besides, he's quite gay. If you can actually picture him doing the Big Nasty with a woman, then you'll believe any news story. Frankly, I can't think of a quicker way to freeze your eggs. Evan Solomon, on the other hand...

  • G West

    5 years ago

    To nightbloom

    I actually thought the picture was kind of a yin/yang thing. Gloria's little boy leans to the left, has white hair and Evan (whose head shape is very much like Anderson's) leans right and has black locks.

    I guessed the photos were chosen for that reason. No?

    TV news - especially the US kind is a wasteland and even the CBC seems intent to follow the path the Americans have blazed.

    Evan's on screen partner appaently prefers upper management company, apparently.

  • doggone

    5 years ago

    All Right!

    I'm back. Had some anxious moments there when I could not log in.

    This site is addictive as well, but at least one is not just sitting staring at the screen. One can attempt to come up with something of interest or ask his/her own questions which are sometimes answered right here.

    I have been dissapointed in the Canuck news systems as well but that Nancy Grace person really puts me off. The other CNN characters are generally only to be watched to try to track what on earth the Yanks are being told just now.

    Tried just watching the news "streams" but more or less like CTV they seem to get stuck in a tape loop and repeat themselves over and over. Which keeps bringing me back to thetyee: Maybe this site could stream the news and things like weather warnings. I suppose that there are contractual problems but BBC does it (actually that's another tape loop )

    Anyhow I, for one, enjoy this site

  • comma

    5 years ago

    huh?--- nightbloom

    I don't understand. Since when does a man's sexual preference stop him from being sexy? Were all my straight female friends tuning into Queer as Folk for the excellent soundtrack? Don't geddit.

  • G West

    5 years ago

    Nightbloom Evan and Anderson

    I don't get it either. Are either of these guys sexy? Neither of them does much of a job of being a journalist either - in my view.

    I just thought the posing of the picture adjacent to the story was a little bit, how do the British put it? Twee.

  • nightbloom

    5 years ago

    Quote:Since when does a

    Quote:
    Since when does a man's sexual preference stop him from being sexy?

    It doesn't. It was an aside, indicated by my use of the word 'besides' to preface my teasing remark which drew attention to his unattainability to the female gender.

    You gotta admit, the media is somewhat resistant - nay, allergic - to the 'manly man' persona...almost as much so as academia. The square-jawed, hairline-deprived Peter Mansbridge is as close as network television journalism gets.

    Of course, it's not about looks. But there really is an almost antiseptic quality to news personae (both male and female). When was the last time you saw a delightfully idiosyncratic individual host the news...? William Buckley would never be given his own show today - his self-presentation doesn't fit the generic telegenic mold.

    I blame the glib faux-cheerful on-camera persona of the chronically medicated Mike Wallace. He cast the mold, and everyone has followed suit.

  • G West

    5 years ago

    nightbloom from G West

    Welllll......if you're looking for someone a bit idiosyncratic (and I know he's not a presenter) there's always Rex Murphy. In the main, however, I agree.

  • nightbloom

    5 years ago

    LOL - yeah, I forgot about

    LOL - yeah, I forgot about the bug-eyed Rex. Okay, there's one.

  • doggone

    5 years ago

    Just watched CNN's Glen Beck

    Signifyin' Madness!
    He's arguing with his imported "Expert" about the implications of any "co ellition" of the "willing" in the Pinkos in the Carrib.
    The Yank viewer should be
    Pitied

  • G West

    5 years ago

    Glen Beck

    I watched this guy for maybe 15 minutes one evening and the only conclusion I could come to was that he was some kind of reformed addict. Is it possible anyone can confirm this - either that or he's a fundamentalist Christianist

  • DSB

    5 years ago

    Wish I was a cool kid...

    All of a sudden, it's as if I'm supposed to think for myself. Brilliant!

    I dumped the tube altogether about a year ago, but still feel the pang of exclusion when a colleague gabs about the scandal! scandal! scandal! on the previous evening's news.

    I've got The Tyee and a little Ceeb online to feel satisfactorily tuned in (if not superior, let's admit) but there's little social hope for those of stranded in water-cooler conversation, asking "Is Rosie O'Donnell really still on television?"

  • Colin

    5 years ago

    Troops led to a slaughter?

    Troops led to a slaughter? Just over 3,000 troops killed invading a country and occupying it for 3 years is hardly a slaughter. The critics claimed that something like 10,000 Coalition troops would be killed in the invasion alone. Also consider that Iran fought a bloody war with Iraq for 10 years with approx 500,000 killed and no real gains at all to show for it. At the current rate, the US would have lost just over 9,000 if it maintains troops there for another 7 years.

  • murdock

    5 years ago

    Watching the furniture...

    Can I Cut off CNN?

    Sure you can, it is called a 'power button' or a channel changer.

    Best is to disconnect the device, as I have found it a great plant shelf and an excellent dust magnet (so as to keep the bookshelves less dusty).

    Why don't you watch the couch for a week and ask the footstool what it thought about the last week!

    Theatre is life,
    Film is art,
    Television is furniture.

  • Jay Currie

    5 years ago

    Gun to the Head

    I am always amused by the pious ponderings of media mavens who, apparently cannot take murdock's sensible advice and simply unplug the TV.

    Of course it is terrible and only getting worse. "Television news" is an oxymoron. Every time a reporter trots out and interviews some poor survivor about "how do you feel?" the utter absence of actual reportorial skill is underlined.

    Ms. Cordon would probably be a rather more interesting pop culture columnist if she binned her TV and took a look at what was left. It could well be that without the television bluely droning in the background the entire sorry enterprise of "pop" culture would vanish.

    Come the Day!

  • Jen

    5 years ago

    I haven't possessed a

    I haven't possessed a television for 6 years now. Although I do feel slightly better about myself for this reason, if you get rid of your TV you will just end up obsessively checking the CNN website and be exposed to just as much trash as you would if you were sitting in front of the TV. I don't even watch it but I know all about Britney Spear's recent faux-pas and all the speculation about Shawn Hornbeck... you probably can't get away from it unless you live completely "off the grid". At least I read The Tyee too, so maybe I end up neutral?

    I am happy with my decision to not have a television. It's not as hard as people think. I wouldn't go back. Don't know where I'd find the time, and I'm definitely lazy, not a busybody. It also means it is not the centrepiece of your living room which is a whole new thing for most folks. I can watch nature documentaries on my computer with the DVD player, same with movies. And I can get all the news I want and more than I will ever need on the internet. One less bill, too, and less time being exposed to advertising. That's a biggie to me. My brain is my own and I am trying to keep it that way!

  • doggone

    5 years ago

    Avoiding unwanted news

    I was disgusted with the recent public news coverage (complete with images) of high officials brought low in far away places. I channel change as fast as I can but still got way too much more detail about Saddam's death than I wanted (sneaky buggers!) Today I was at least warned on CBC Radio: "This description (accidental beheading of another Iraqui) is graphic" and I was close to the radio so I got it turned off in time.

    One "gets" the news even without leaving the TV on.

    Remember when "Ed Sullivan Show" was entertainment and the news was just the news?

    There is one advantage Google News and other internet sources have over TV besides the fact that the advertisement does not stop you from reading the article: If you do not actively choose to see the detail you won't.
    So far

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