Great Coverage

Excellent summary of a disturbing cultural trend to dumb down our citizens as well as reimpose sexist roles on men and women. Ahh, how the business community pines for the halcyon days of the 1950's, when women knew their place and men prospered.

This narrow, primitive longing for rigid sexist roles crosses a number of sectors which adds to its power: conservative Christian groups support sexism; corporate and political elites support sexism; non-Christiam religious groups such as conservative Moslem and Jewish faiths support sexism; South American and Mediterranean conservative men support sexism; military empires support sexism; the list goes on. Heck, our "own" Stephen Harper and Gordon Campbell exude as much male chauvinism as the "best of them".

Of course, the MAJORITY of women don't, nor do the majority of citizens who when polled, repeatedly express values of tolerance and generosity. But that doesn't stop the minority from imposing their kooky ideas and irrational desires on the rest of us.

A pivotal topic that needs repeated discussion.

Bright-sided

A good book on a related topic is
Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America
By Barbara Ehrenreich
We need to be able to accurately assess reality and shouldn't confuse optimism with delusional positive thinking, especially when there's money changing hands.

PT Barnum

The old PT Barnum quote needs to be updated to read:

There are countless suckers born every second.

don't think about it; pathologize it

There’s no doubt that the majority of self-help books that play on differences between men and women do more to deepen the gender divide.

If, through a series of bizzare mutations, humans evolved into hemaphroditic androgenous creatures … much like slugs and snails … we would not escape the “differences” that, in the end, can drive individuals, communities and cultures appart.

Further more, such homogeneity would highlight the fact that these differences were more a product of nurture rather than nature.

In the end our emotional differences are more the result of the way we are trained to interpret reality than the result of differences in sex-specific hormones or hormonal disruption.

We are the products of an indoctrination process that probably begins at the time of conception. And it’s an ongoing process that determines how we, individually, define pleasure and pain, and how we relate to pain and pleasure in others.

Unfortunately dealing with, and breaking down, destructive thinking (of self or others) isn’t as lucrative as providing instant cures via self-help books pedaling nutritional supplements. Instant cures are the reason many behaviours, once seen as typical or common, are now pathologized and “treated” through drug therapy.

Indeed

I understand what you are saying here, but I disagree. It is, can be, and should be easy to frequently complain about, criticize, and explicate these deceitful, mendacious tomes to "better living if you buy my book" nonsense. Most of it is woo, unsuportable lies, distortions, and wishful thinking and we, society at large, should learn better critical thinking skills so we can debunk this dangerous horsecrap, these appeals to thoughtlessness as a good way to be.

Yes indeed. We are living in times where critical thinking, while lauded and proselytized by a loud few, is nonetheless frowned upon by the the thoughtless many who would rather just curl up to a so-called reality show and live in the bliss of the unknowing now. Far, far too many people live life by the Ferrin credo: Don't worry; be happy.

Critical think = bad.

Happy delusion = good.

No, perhaps not. But he, and all other merchants of woowoo are cognizant of the fact that they are taking serious advantage of people who should but do not know better. And therefore, these damned merchants of woowoo are culpable and guilty of a form of fraud.

Jeffrey J. said:

Indeed! That is so true, And they are working so hard to bring it all back. We should also add to that the idea that the poor are simply stupid and lazy; the rich naturally smart and hard working.

This stuff DOES work!

I'm not talking about his nutritional supplement. The "be happy" philosophy DOES work.

Positive attitudes and behaviors will tend to make you happy just as negs will make you sad.

The ideas have been around for several centuries but only a small portion of humans subscribe.

Too bad!

Excellent column

I agree that yes, there are real differences between the genders - and so what? These have been exaggerated for literally ages, and it's sad/pathetic that so many still buy into the "battle of the sexes" paradigm. More media coverage exposing this phoney batch of "differences" is what we need, and it's great that The Tyee has Ms. Richmond doing so. Keep up the good fight!

Worst of all is "The Secret"

Many self-help books have made millions for their authors, but the most delusional of all is "The Secret".

[quote from Rhonda Byrne's website]
"The Secret reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages and saviors in the world's history, and through the lives of all truly great men and women. All that they have ever accomplished or attained has been done in full accordance with this most powerful law. This is the secret to prosperity, health, relationships and happiness. This is the secret to life."

I must admit that I've read many self-help books over the past 30 years. Some are helpful in contemplating other points of view, particularly for those of us who grew up with black & white [usually religious] backgrouds. Many of these boooks are what I would term 'overly encouraging'.

Yes, balance your hormones and make sure your nutritional input is at maximum. Eat well and exercise frequently. Take a pill if it helps your depression/ADHD/aching joints/sexual disfunction/whatever.

No-one can insist on surrounding him/herself with only positive people ... one really has no choice in the family or workplace. Negative people exist. We cannot escape them. They cannot escape us.

Tolerance works better. And compassion for minor differences and extreme weirdness. Perfection would be very boring ... it's individuality that makes us interesting, after all.

Biologically, men and women can't understand each other. They are not from different planets, but they are from very different hormonal backgrounds. Opposites attrack. And attack.

My own personal Frankensteinian idea is that women should take testosterone injections and men should take estrogen, and then see how happy they are with each other.

I doubt we'd survive.

What about est and The Forum

A housemate convinced me to go to a Forum introductory pitch on formulas for success. As far as I could tell, the attitude was to push on with a relentlessly positive attitude and tell everyone in your life about this great project you are doing. This self-created expectation is supposed to be an incentive to get off your butt and do the project.

I also wondered why I was always hearing so many great things about the people leading the classes, how they were highly-paid professionals who were donating their time for free. Why? Because it earns you brownie points and helps you climb the Forum organizational ladder. Roping people into dropping hundreds of dollars for a weekend course also gets you brownie points in the hierarchy.

Based on other observations, this sales pitch for a weekend course taught me to be skeptical and question what incentive is there for someone to act the way he or she does? It's a valuable way to look at a lot of situations. Few people do things for the good of society.

yet another...

...snake-oil salesman.

Holes in Mr. Gray's theories.

If Mr. Gray was correct, if gender differences underlay most relationship problem, then same-sex couples would live in relative conjugal bliss - save for pressures born out of anti-Queer attitudes. But, in my experiences, we have the most of the same problems that hets do.

Sometimes, Gray and affiliates will point to measurements of women and men's brains as proof of their theories - and often from there, to prove that gender norms are inevitable. It is important that we understand that while hormones have been shown to produce changes in cognition, these changes are relatively small. The remainder of gendered differences in cognition (which can be reliably measured in the brain via PET scans) are due to social forces and personal decisions. To compare: if you talk to me in Qazakh (which I do not understand), the language-processing parts of my brain will not "light up," so to speak (the confusion parts probably will). If you talk to native Kazakhstani in Kazakh, ze probably will. This is not caused by some essential Kazakh/Anglo brain-difference so much that the Kazakhstani has learned a language that I have not. If I learn Kazakh, or if the Kazakstani was never taught zer country's official tongue, or should forget it, this difference will not be apparent. So it is with women and men - aggressive or nuturing responses are biologically measurable, but we should not assume they are biologically hardwired. You can change your own brain activity through study, reflection and practice. But many people don't because they think it's impossible, or likely to render them unpopular.