Its cheaper than Viagra!

And besides, We make love and make porn!

Porn is bad when its a secret from your partner; same as making love when you do not love your partner!

"Guys who do not watch

"Guys who do not watch pornography do not exist,” Lajeunesse of the university’s School of Social Work said yesterday."

...

"Lajeunesse found most boys seek pornography by age 10, at about the same time that they become curious about sex. They chose what they wanted to see and quickly rejected what they found offensive – for example, bestiality or violence."

stop the misandry

stop hating biology

get over it

men are not women. full stop.

Where's your equality and compassion now?

Oh we're men, therefore okay to denigrate and bash...but all you do is bash biology and in the end yourselves.

Equality not matriarchy nor patriarchy.

http://www.montrealgazette.com/entertainment/movie-guide/Study+find+porn+virgins/2295732/story.html

FOLKS have as much sex with gorgeous people as you can. Stop hating biology and pleasure. Leftist puritans are worse than rightist puritans apparently.

Misandry?

Is that what you call it when you're asked to examine something you'd rather not think about?

Not exactly a convincing argument for your point of view.

selfish?

Anybody else read Dan Savage? If some women aren't able to be ggg for a guys birthday, will they be surprised when their boyfriend cheats on them?

Ps "GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'"

Money shots.

People are allowed to like and ask for acts they see in porn. We're allowed to want to ejaculate on our partners' faces; we're allowed to want our partners to ejaculate on our faces.

Wanting things is allowed. Asking for things is allowed. What's required is taking NO for an answer.

anything he wants

I am responding to "she's dreading her boyfriend's upcoming birthday because he views it as his "anything he wants" night". I am trying to imagine her birthday and his cheery compliance with anything she wants. Does she secretly want him to comply with something scary or degrading, and pretend to love it? I really doubt it. Woemn are socialized to make men feel good 365 days of the year, aren't they?

Is this where we've gotten

Is this where we've gotten as a society, are we thinking of simpler times when you discovered sexuality by raiding your father's stack of Playboys?

Yes, newsflash, the internet made porn more easily accessible more anonymous and a lot of it is free. now, So is there any big surprise that men are all over it? Speaking of quick and easy ejaculation, the internet has also made it extremely easy for the average person to spew their every thought without taking time to finesse the message.

At least when a guy gets his rocks off with some porn, he's not getting someone pregnant or getting an STD. So as long as parents get over their squeamishness and lay down the law on safe sex, we should be good.

As far as making love vs. porn style sex? Well, you can't legislate good taste, you just have to learn that one the hard way.

Luke

"Quote:
younger women who might mistakenly think they have to put up with the new status quo if they want their guy to put out

It's usually the other way around. :D"

Speak for yourself my good man :)

Cuts Many Ways

I appreciate the intent of this article and think it is a topic worthy of much discussion, but I also am left with a sense of "no duh". Like no duh that media influences how we view relationships. If porn is influencing men in certain ways, wouldn't other female-centric media be exerting its own influence?

How does a lifetime of reading Cosmo, romance novels or Beyonce lyrics influence what women's expectations of what sex and relationships are? Clearly there are problematic teachers of relationships and sex across many sectors, and targeting porn, while an attractive culprit is only part of the problem. I would have a bit more faith in the genesis of this story, makelovenotporn.com, if the site had a bit more meat to it. I can easily see that it's possible to buy a t-shirt, but don't really see how it's teaching me about how my attitudes may be unrealistic.

Either that, or I may be incredibly naive as to how younger people are having sex. Do they really not know that just because they've seen it on screen, it doesn't mean that it's expected of them? I have always found that the one thing that real sex has over porno sex is just that - reality. Another interactive human being, skin contact, a human body with bumps and scars and unusual curves all actually heighten excitement rather than disappoint. I doubt that today's teenager presented with his first live, unmodified naked breast will be disappointed that it's not a perfectly round silicone globe any more than I would.

Cindy Gallop's ability to sell t-shirts is better than her ability to explode the myths she claims to be exploding. I think this is more a case of catch phrases and 140 character "memes" proving superficial yet satisfying, instead of actually critiquing and analysing the problem.

The whole thing is also incredibly hetero-centred, which is surprising, and disappointing to see.

A sick society.

So far nobody's noted the total phonyness of contemporary porn - the utter failure to arouse the woman before the act, and so the necessity to artificially luricate the women between takes; the need of male performers to use erection-enhancing drugs; and the use of unseen male stand-ins during the filming, often for the requisite come-shot as well.

The obvious objective is to focus upon penis-worship, with women playing only the role of facilitator to that end.

The result is joyless, mechanistic sex, designed only to enhance the masturbatory efforts of men who have not progressed beyond their immature, teen-age fantasies.

How I long for porn which exalts loving, caring sex, that focusses upon women's needs as much as the man's. Incidentally, that can be "kinky" - and still be fun.

Unfortunately we Chritians eeem to require the aspect of "prurience" in order to appeciate sex.

What it's all about, Lordy.

Let's relax and enjoy the best things that life has. Sex is one part of a very big package, remember that.

Chick Flicks???

Gender

Not surprisingly, male respondents to this article outnumber female about 13 to 1. How can I tell? It's pretty easy reading the content and nature of responses.

I suspect that other than the author of article, females read this kind of thing and say, no way, if I try to say anything of a remotely feminist tone, I'll be jumped on by testosterone-fueled men out to tell me that, (1) I'm wrong, or (2) a hard luck story about how they were stood up once on a date by some bitch"; or (3) The mens rights crowd who lost custody of their kids and therefore have declared that all feminists are part of a satanic conspiracy to ruin them.

Right On Vanessa

An excellent analysis of an expanding problem in Western society. What is really at play here is the neoliberal reversal of social progress that arose in the 1960's. And nowhere is this more obvious than in the efforts to force women back into a subservient role.

For those who allege biology is to blame, it simply aint so (if 'porn' simply meant photographs of naked women, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It is far more violent and demeaning than that). Most citizens, male and female alike, are able to conduct themselves ethically and morally. Unless your population is inundated with imagery and role models over and over and over again, showing women as pink, fluffy sex toys, while men are powerful overlords.

This is a systemic process, tied in with the usual suspects who have the MOST influence in Western society. All roads lead to Rome, in this case, to the economic elites. US historian Thomas Frank has been writing about this for some years (One Market Under God). As does Micheal Kimmel's amazing book published this year, Guyland (a must read BTW).

Both support Ms. Redmond's thesis that the vast spread of violent porn is inevitably leading to changes in social behavior.

Great article!

A Sick Society... ME2

It is my experience that elements of both misandry and misogyny inevitably run through both male and female sexuality. Which suggests to me that at some level anyway, competing needs and visions of sexuality are at work.. which no less include tensions that arise out of the bottom line pursuits of the capitalist "marketplace".

Certainly many women tend to think they have the final controlling hand over male sexuality. While hetero-sexual men on the other hand, at the same time they acknowledge some truth to the observation, know that it's not so much cut and dried so as some women tend to like to think. (Watch a bunch of women when a rich, attractive and powerful man walks into the room, married or not, say like a Tiger Woods. :-) With some exceptions of course, women are locked in a competition for desirable genes no less than men. Which is the real "material" driving force behind the sexuality of both, whether they are conscious of it or not.)

And I don't think there should be any surprise that hetero-sexuals tend, no less than homosexuals, to be preoccupied near exclusively with their own sexuality. That's life. Suck it up. Except for that slightly strange voyeuristic male attraction to lesbian sex-, which is because, I presume, female sex per se poses no real threat to their male genes, so they are more inclined to let lesbian adventure enter their play fantasies, where they would not tolerate another man, more often. (Males have a deep rooted aversion to giving succour to another males genes.Which is what his sperm package really is, of course.)

But outside of all this, though I am not a Christian or of any religion, I essentially agree with ME2. There is no mystery to the pecuniary interests exploiting both female and male sexuality that is porn. It is the simple manufacturing of another kindf of product for profit, that is the so-called, but really bullshit "free market" of capitalism

Until this element is finally removed from its intrusions into both male and female sexuality, we are not likely to know for sure how male and female relations will be without it. While sexual play will always be there, without that so-called "free market" exploitive element that is at the root of porn, exerting such an influence on both the male and the female, I don't think there is any doubt that the relationship will be greatly changed. (For economic inequalities, economic needs and values are there in the issues of sexuality as well, no less than in the other areas of relationships within social life.)

I mean, as ME2 said, we are talking, "A sick society." here, no less than were Roman and Greek slave societies in the terminal decline stages approaching their end. And that sickness affects all aspects of human relationships, from the economic to the political, and even the sexual.

As many of the signs said in Copenhagen yesterday, "Time to Change The Politics." To which I would only add, AND, "Time to Change The Economics."

Problem with title

I fully agree with this article and website but have a problem with their shared title. I think one of the best ways to counter the often unrealistic portrayals of sex in mainstream porn is to make 'alternative' porn that shows different kinds of people having different kinds of sex. As the article mentioned, we need to increase and broaden the information about sex that is available, not censor.

if you can't find the kind of porn you're looking for...

...then you just aren't looking hard enough. Seriously, whatever you're into, it *is* out there.

I would guess 90% of porn consumption on the internet is lone males looking to masturbate. While it might make some people feel better if these men were looking for meaningful dialog, a substantial storyline, and a generous amount of foreplay, it just ain't so.

Take any piece of porn: some people will find it disgusting, some people will love it, and some people will find it dreadfully boring.

Trying to change someone's porn preferences is similar to trying to "cure" someone of homosexuality.

If someone blurs the line between porn and real life a little too much, that's not a problem with porn. That's a problem with sexual education, family relationships, and social intelligence. Porn would just be a symptom, and treating the symptom won't cure the disease.

I just can't take anyone seriously who rails about the type of porn out there, when *every* type of porn *is* out there. So you go ahead and check out what you like, and please don't try to tell me what is wrong with my tastes, thank you very much.