Life

A Tyee Series

The Joy of ZZZZZZZZ…

In praise of sleep, my chief luxury.

By Steve Burgess, 7 Jun 2006, TheTyee.ca

Puppy Sleeping

Just don't call me slacker.

John Lennon sang about it. Hamlet got suicidal just thinking about it. I shut off the phone and close the drapes so I can do it when I please. Sleep is my chief luxury. I am jealously protective of my sleep routine -- not just the duration, but the timing. I will sleep when I choose. You're not the boss of me.

Early in life I noticed that I was not one of those blessed souls who could function on three or four hours a night. I aim to get eight; will settle for seven. Any less and the effects are noticeable. Things fall apart, the centre cannot hold. My back goes out. The gambols of laughing little children make me homicidal. The top is shaved from my emotional responses and my surroundings are drained of colour. My cockpit warning lights will flash. A mechanical voice will sound: "Pull up; pull up…"

Can't… make… the… controls… work….

More researchers are pointing out the benefits of sleep, and the societal dangers of getting too little. A recent study of medical residents published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that sleep deprivation can be more debilitating than alcohol consumption. "People think it's macho to get by on small amounts of sleep, then wonder why they're groggy and exhausted by mid-day," says James Maas, PhD, a psychology professor at Cornell University. "At some point people started thinking eight hours of sleep is slothful, which shows enormous ignorance of sleep's benefits. Just an extra hour or two causes huge rebounds in happiness, productivity and creativity."

Go to bed, Steve

A quick scan of current sleep research mostly serves to highlight how little we know. Researchers frequently admit that they are only guessing at the purposes and benefits of sleep. One gets the impression that the state of sleep research in 2006 is comparable to the state of psychiatry circa 1930 -- it's a field that is still groping in the dark.

Many people demand a good night's sleep to function well. My issue, however, is not just with quantity of slumber. It's when I sleep. I am a confirmed night owl. Generally I hit the sheets at 3:30 a.m., awake at 11:30 a.m. I shut off the phone so that the world cannot upbraid me for my maverick snooze routine. Freedom of the sack demands its prerogative. I will sleep free or die.

I don't actually mind being up bright and early once I'm forced into it. It's going to bed early that kills me.

There is probably a lot of little boy in all this. I have a near-pathological hatred of being forced to go to bed early. It is a rebuke to my hard-won adulthood. I run my own ship -- I decide when to sound "Lights Out." The knowledge that some pending commitment will force me to alter my routine does not just ruin my day, it can ruin several.

Sack slackers?

People underestimate the difficulty of drastically changing one's sleep pattern on short notice. It's not a case of simply going to bed early. Unless you're popping sleeping pills (almost always a bad idea) it's my experience that drowsiness does not arrive until at least 15 wakeful hours have passed. I can't simply go to bed at midnight and sleep. You can't change your patterns overnight. An unavoidable morning appointment can play havoc with my week.

But I'm a late sleeper. Late sleepers get no sympathy. They are bums. The fact that I am awake and productive long after most folks are snoring means nothing. Those who waste the sunlight hours are judged slackers, whether they spend more hours in bed or not. I know this by now. Any complaints from me about having to rise early will be greeted with scornful laughter. Best to make some other excuse. (At least on the west coast I get a little more sympathy -- most of us have suffered at the hands of those arrogant Torontonians who pay no attention to the three-hour time difference when they start making their morning phone calls.)

The vicissitudes of travel have toughened me a little. I've learned to get by for long periods of wakefulness. Like a camel in the desert, a traveller must tolerate dry spells. Eventually though, the oasis must be found. Until I get a solid nine- or 10-hour makeup sleep at some point, no matter what country I'm in, things will start going south. I once got into a one-sided screaming match with a giant security goon in Rome. The argument was about access to a stairway, but the real cause lay (wide awake) elsewhere. This argument ran on jet-lag fuel.

It wasn't Mr. Goon's fault that trucks full of garbage cans rattled past my cheap Roman hotel at 6 a.m. every morning. And I do appreciate the fact that he didn't pummel me into tourist jelly.

Sorry, Signor -- it was just lack of sleep screaming.

Steve Burgess is The Tyee's at-large culture critic. After he stayed up late writing this, he took off to sample some of Europe's best beds. You can read his first dispatch here.  [Tyee]

15  Comments:

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  • grw

    5 years ago

    Comments on "The Joy of ZZZZZZZZ…"

    Yawn... You know how when you hear a song you like on the radio all the freaking time you begin to hate it? That's how I'm starting to feel with Steve Burgess. He's everywhere. I think he's stretching himself thin so now his columns seem forced. "What can I possibly write about today?"

  • Stuart

    5 years ago

    Good article, I forget which study estimated that about 75% of westerners (US and Canada) are walking around sleep deprived, I wonder how many accidents happen on the roads due to this and how much productivity is lost per day as a whole.

    I find it most people find it hard to relax, even on weekends, just being still and not trying to cram as much into a Saturday as possible.

    Take grw for example, a classic case of sleep deprivation, at least I hope so for his sake, imagine being so rude and intolerant of others success,

  • Colin

    5 years ago

    Having done shift work and emergency response stuff, I am glad that I have a regular schedule (well I did until my daughter came along and now we have her schedule!).

    I was watching my cat have a snooze yesterday, and realized that compared to his wild cousins he can afford to shut down and have a real sleep, in the wild he would never be able and that factor is likely a reason why wild animals generally don’t live as long as domestic.

    Once my wife finishes a major project or something that is big/stressful, she celebrates by having a “Victory Nap”

  • Truman Green

    5 years ago

    I bet anyone who's read my comments before is getting TIRED of me attributing everything to synchronicity--as if the universe is constantly trying to teach me things...

    However...just this morning before I read this I was sitting, as always, having my coffee at the donut shop where I hang out and this guy comes in complaining to anyone who'll listen about how tired he is, and how he'd just like to skip work and bo back to bed.

    I went into my routine about how important sleep is, and how he's ruining his health, and how scientists know that the amount and quality of sleep a person gets is actually the number one indicator of how long and healthy the rest of his life is going to be.

    So yeah...Steve's column might seem whimsical at first glance, grw, but actually it's probably as important as anything else you're going to read about health this year.

    The best way to stay healthy is not ever to do anything when you're tired--except go to sleep.

    Of course you might have to change jobs and spouses--even kids and mortgages--and "buy down" to a house you can actually afford.

    Fatigue is fatal--over a long period of time-- not to mention, causatively correlated with things like falling off ladders, driving into ditches, telephone poles and concrete pillars; and pissing off spouses who want to talk about feelings.

    Believe it or not, nobody's figured out exactly why we need sleep or why we get tired.

    One would suppose that it is has to do with the depletion of adenosine triphosphate, the body's source of energy for using chemical products, but who knows?

    Wake up!

  • canuck_cougar

    5 years ago

    Sleep! Glorious sleep! I wish I could get some. Never been a "good sleeper" and now, suffering the effects of "mid-life changes", I am unable to sleep longer than 1 hour before waking up to have a sweat and roll over. I'm amazed I can still do my job every day on 3-4 hours of (interrupted) sleep a night. I envy you Steve Burgess.

  • lynn

    5 years ago

    Sweet dreams, Mr. Burgess.

    Always enjoy the science you bring to issues, Truman...not my strong suit so it's always interesting to read what you have to say. Sleep is such a mystery, isn't it? How we surrender ourselves to it...give ourselves trustingly to it...can't live without it (at least not for long).

    I have a theory about why we need sleep but I would never say it out loud...especially on The Tyee...it has to do with the concept of time and space, probably not great science but it has a certain appealing charm...my kind of physics. ;-)

  • grw

    5 years ago

    Sorry, didn't mean to be rude. I think it's just human nature to get sick of something you see over and over again. I like Burgess, but after seeing him in the Westender every week, on the Tyee probably as frequently, and even in the Reader's Digest I was flipping through at the physio, and all with a forced kind of funny, it begins to all sound the same. Since he really only writes about himself and his experiences, it must be really difficult to come up with fresh angles.

    Quote:
    Steve's column might seem whimsical at first glance, grw, but actually it's probably as important as anything else you're going to read about health this year.

    Hey, I've always needed about 12 hours a sleep a night, not to mention a nap during the day! These days I get less, but still love my naps. However, the article is still nothing more than whimsical because he doesn't bring in anything but his own thoughts and experiences. Had he done some research and talked to some sleep researches or other medical professionals, it might have been as important. As it is, those who disagree with his thesis can just toss it off as the ramblings of one person who needs to write about something.

  • inkioko

    5 years ago

    I think i exist on a 30 hour day...... 20 hours awake 10 sleeping.... causes problems sometimes... i also am most productive from 2- 5:30 am -consistently.

  • Tax Cutter 99

    5 years ago

    They just arrested 17 terrorists in our country and the tyee homepage has an article about this?

  • L.W.

    5 years ago

    Tax Cutter99 ... I think the point of the Tyee is to expose stories that are not covered in the mainstream media or to cover different angles that have been glossed over.

  • Growlhisss

    5 years ago

    Oh my! Thank you Tyee for NOT fear mongering about "terrorists"!!!

    I often embarrass myself more when I have missed a few than when I have had a few too many!

  • moonlighter_deleted

    5 years ago

    Well-written and entertaining article, Mr Burgess, on functioning in our 'high-stress-is-best' society...it's a relief to hear there are others out there working 'till 3:30 am, sleeping 'till 11:30 am, and are still, somehow, contributing members of society!!

    Growlhisss, I agree...the Tyee is the one place to come to escape the fear-mongering, but not to escape the truth of the issues...

  • Fii

    5 years ago

    I'd just like to say- NICE PIC!! How absolutely beautiful... Coming to think of it, I've never slept better than I have the last few years, with my dog snuggled and breathing beside me.
    Lynn- what's your theory? Sounds interesting.

  • Mkitty

    5 years ago

    The only time I have ever walked into a hall wall, missing the bathroom door altogether, was when I was not intoxicated, but rather in a sleep deprived stupor!

    Of course, everyone watching me at the time thought I must have been drunk, but alas, it was really only sleep deprivation - which illustrates the point perfectly, that it is indeed much more dangerous than one would imagine! Yes, sleep is so crucially important that it stuns me when I hear those wacko people braggin about how little sleep they can operate on...

  • lynn

    5 years ago

    Hi Fii...great to read you again. About that theory...for the sake of good science... I think it should forever remain a mystery. ;-)

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