From: Peacebwithu@uninsularity.com
To: daltonsmiley@uofb.org

Dalton!

do not talk or think or act on these suicidal thoughts!
what is wrong with u????

i never gave the slightest encouragement to push u in the direction u've gone.

i mean i know i played a part in your pilgrimage to Houston, but it was all on a political level, the political getting personal, there was nothing emotionally, or romantically-- I played along a little because your emails were so playful, but i can't think of a single time i led u on or advocated, or abetted, or gave u any concrete reason to think I had a thing for u, although u were flirting with me from day one. ur emails came corny as hell n full of moonlit hammocks and stuff, but I never reciprocated with similar thoughts, ok?

dont u know teasing???

now everything's all fucked up. I didn't know Drake emailed u using my address, he opened my mail when I wasn't even there u know, n i don't like it. I didn't expressly give him my password so he stole it. He took something n used it without permission n that's stealing. so i'm mad at him too.

n I'm mad at him for being Lorne Smiley, your dad. I hate that name, Lorne, I mean it's cute for a dog, but it's a lame name, so I'm still calling him Drake, because I fell in love with a drake, altho I'm not so sure anymore about being in love either. i'm not feeling it right now.

I'm just feeling physically n emotionally sick from all these needy men. I thought drake was strong but scratch the surface n everyone's made of porcelain.

this place is so fucking claustrophobic n unprivate. u can't have your space cause everyone knows everything, cause drake n i have been sleeping on a futon in a room supposed to be the sewing room n then a seedling sprouting room until we pushed the trays to the edges n installed ourselves (not enough bedrooms), but right now i don't want to sleep with him, but any change in sleeping arrangements either takes a full-blown meeting of the entire commune n always spins out of control into other personality-driven pseudo-gestalt sessions, or it just happens without a meeting to announce it, without anything being said, n then there's all these raised eyebrows n every fucking person here will be sidling up to me in quiet moments to get the dirt

drake's got a pickup truck n tonight he's sleeping in that, n if rain comes too fucking bad. sorry to hear it rained all over u. don't let it rain on your parade Dalton. Finish what you start. have some backbone, like my dad used to say. He was in the military n I rejected most of the shit he fed me, but backbone is good no matter what side of the fence u place yourself. us pacifists n do-gooders n other assorted ditherers need to learn to be just as strong as the warriors, otherwise they win.

I'm such a mother. trying to buck u up, give u courage. Mother Courage. i need bucking up right now. we're all alone, aren't we? everyone, I mean.

Get a grip and deal. that's what I'm telling myself n that's what I'm telling you.

peace
meg(h)an
(lame he didn't know the spelling. n VERY lame he told u i gave permission to write u)

From: yerdeeroldad@uninsularity.com
To: daltonsmiley@uofb.org

Dalton,

It's your Dad again a girl here named Cindi showed me how to set up an account with yahoo so you can see I got my own email address now so we can write each other directly cut out the middleman you might say.
Dalton I phoned Joan your mother tonight and tried to make my peace with her but I dont think shes ready not the first phone call but I plan to make more even though she said dont bother and hung up but only after we said alot. I told her I was in communication with you and she said that was good even if she had no interest in hearing from me you and me are related by blood so there should be some strings reattached circuits reconnected its only right.
Meghans gone off her head and I have to sleep in the truck.
A grizzly could get me.
That's a joke about the grizzly sorry if your not in the mood to laugh with your Dad yet. I'll sleep with my dog in the truck and no bears will get near me without me knowing that way. My dog is named Lorne isnt that funny, since Lorne is my name really but Im so used to being Drake I like it better Ive been drake ever since I left your mom and headed to the mountains to live an alternative life in the mountains here. Its been good and rewarding (sometimes financially) but I always felt bad about you kids but I just wasnt the kind for stable home life wanted to be out in the bush growing dope which is what Im famous for around here, an old hippie one step ahead of the law and thats no life for a man with kids so dont judge me too hard okay?
Son I want you to stop talking crazy and get a grip I wish there was some way I could phone you but I dont even know where your staying in Houston anymore I hope its clean and affordable for your sake if those things are important to you I think they might be from the way Meghan described you to me kind of fussy I could lend you some cash if you need a better hotel or motel just let me know. I'll leave the phone number of this place at the bottom or send it to you once I figure out what it is but you can also just write your number I'll call you cheaper for you that way.
I dont know how to end these letters never been one for writing but come on out when your done in Houston and well party together father and son and Ill show you the mountains which are my real home and always will be now I figure.
Once again Im going to talk like a Dad and say dont you go pulling any crazy shit like gasoline fires or tall building ledges or those Houston cops will stick your head in a blender and call it an accident. Texas cops must be about the worst so play safe and just do what you went down there to do tell Georgey fuck off and suck pebbles from Drake your Dad.

From: daltonsmiley@uofb.org
To: Peacebwithu@uninsularity.com

Dear Dad,

Are you for real? You sound like such a fucking hick.

No I haven't forgiven you but thanks for acting like I have and just writing your little heart out as if we're best buds and I'm your confidante and I'm supposed to feel sorry for you because Meghan kicked you out. I'm glad she kicked you out. I'm thrilled she kicked you out. Asshole.

Your son in loathing and I am NOT fussy,

Dalton

Next chapter: Wednesday